Author: ohsuzan
Date: 2005-11-03 12:31
someone (my keyboard doesn't have the umlaut, sorry!) . . .
I was taught, as a singer, that the sound rides on the air, and it is the air that must remain consistent. Stops and starts of air leads to choppy, unmusical playing. Air is the essence of line.
Playing in a new (to me) ensemble which apparently has a "zero tolerance" policy toward pitch variation (at least, as far as the oboe is concerned) is driving me a little bit crazy. I am definitely feeling like the poo on the flower. I wish my director could talk to yours!
The typical oboe part will feature, say, 30 or more bars of rest, then an exposed entrance (perhaps a solo lick) for two bars, then 16 more bars of rest, followed by perhaps a little 8- or 12- bar phrase with the trumpets, more rest, another exposed entrance, etc. etc.
I've got the tuner on my stand (so does the rest of this particular group), and I am trying to be sensitive to where the rest of the ensemble is, pitch wise, at the point of my entrance. But these "cold" entrances are just killing me.
I am using a reed designed for symphonic use which is as nearly perfect as any reed I have ever used, in terms of pitch and tone. I have it stuffed into my lip -- there must be no more than a pinhole that I am blowing through. I don't think I've played anything above an "mp" yet. I am barely playing.
But I have been taken to task for being variously too loud, sharp, flat, rhythmically imprecise, not matching the trumpets, and on and on and on. Bottom line: I am always wrong; everyone else is always right. Even when they're wrong.
I've played in other ensembles, and simply have not had this problem. The prior feedback I have gotten in regard to my tone and musicality in ensemble work has been overwhelmingly positive -- embarrassingly positive, even. I'm a good musician, and a good oboist.
Once or twice, this director has told me that something I did was "just fabulous". But I am so freaked about making a mistake or doing it "wrong" (whatever that means) that at this point, I am shutting down and bobbling all over the place -- not playing well at all.
I would really like to regain a certain internal composure for our performance this Sunday, so I can do as well as I can.
Any suggestions?
Susan
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