Author: vboboe
Date: 2005-12-12 06:58
... echo check, oboe definitely needs to be chosen by heart, how else can anybody cope with the (beep) thing?!
... in retrospect ... here's mine for starters, everybody feel free to add their pet oboe peeves, just so we all vent what we're loving so much ...
- 2 feet of narrow pipe adorned with gleaming metal parts, student model, costs way more than student model shinier flute or bigger clarinet to either rent or buy
- mere 2 feet of pipe and gleaming metal parts on ye average oboe can't play two complete octaves for all 12 chromatic notes (ho ho ho chortles bassoon, but have you seen the size of that box!?)
- fixing mechanical oboe problems costs a bundle and always takes longer than you've got to wait
- can't get all the labour-saving keys, new, under Cdn 6K
- hold your breath and duck under water, that's the best quacking noise you'll get for months, or years if you're an unlucky duckie
- nobody warns us that you need ironman abs to play this tiddly piece of pipe, post-partum matron, wot abs?!
- nobody in the audience can bear to watch that mugshot, LOL, that's why we're in the middle hidden behind the conductor
- new oboes need tweaking the day before you open the box
- good luck trying to find a good rental replacement oboe while your beloved's in hospital
- oboes in their prime time are quixotic, they're seasonally and diurnally adjusted to je ne sais quoi
- old oboes need tweaking all the time fore and aft and during play
- one eighth turn of any adjustment screw is the beginning of interminable sleep deprivation
- oboes have tone holes and invisible extra whistle holes which vent whenever they squeak like it
- oboe sounds OK while humming to itself, but gets very irritable when playing with other instruments, can sing first tuning note perfectly but thereafter sing-sings various notes off pitch just to be ornery
- average commercial reed costs 3-5x more than ye average clarinet or sax reed and gives up marley's ghost 6-10x sooner
- reed tools are a stock market investment, except the knife, it's already a bear
- once capable of playing longer periods of time, single reed gets too wet and collapses, need to rotate several of 'em to keep having fun
- yesterday's reeds have been a-round, all of 'em afterwards are second time laid flat
- after getting the knack of blowing the reed beautifully, you discover your intonation's off, way off
- all reeds aren't the same and their variable harmonic frequencies need different lipping techniques
- reeds have prima donna attitudes, they sang the high register yesterday but balk today, and yesterday they wouldn't sing low but today that's all they'll do
- just while you're gently reshaping your wet, played reed for storage, it splits
- your best reed which sounded great yesterday died before the concert today
- 4 single knife scrapes in each quadrant to gently ease the blend and too much wood's off already
... your turn, people, add yours!
|
|
The Oboe BBoard
.jpg){kind=small}
