Author: ohsuzan
Date: 2009-10-19 02:20
It seems to me that our friend Howard is being quite hard on himself tonight. There is nothing worse than the anticipation of being judged by a jury of his superiors to trigger these thoughts!
Howard, on my own much more mundane level, I am experiencing some of these same qualms. I am about to move from a milieu in which I have been a relatively big duck (or at least, something recognizable as a duck, and sometimes the only duck) in a very, very small pond, to a much bigger pond, where there are lots and lots of ducks, and more than a few swans. And because I cannot play through even the early Ferling exercises to my own satisfaction, I am agonizing over the idea of going to a teacher in this new, bigger, pond and having to demonstrate how completely inadequate I am.
The only advice I can give you is the same advice I would give myself, and that is, to focus on what I CAN do, no matter how impossibly basic you think that is.
The poet T.S. Eliot wrote a line that says, basically, the way from where you are to where you are not is a way you do not know. And yet you must go along that way, if you are to move forward. Go carefully, go slowly, one step, one note, at a time.
There's actually nothing else you can do, at any rate. Just the next step. Just the next note.
Susan
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