Author: ohsuzan
Date: 2007-10-17 04:14
I tend to agree with d-oboe on this one, with one reservation. And that is, if claire70 is actually having panic attacks (as clincially defined) in certain types of playing situations, then it IS beyond the self-help stage and time to talk about medication.
Speaking as someone who has experienced true panic attacks (not in a performance situation) AND the squirrelly, "where did THAT come from?!?!" ambush by performance anxiety, I have to say, they are not the same thing.
In my experience, clincally-defined panic attacks happen in circumstances and ways that cannot be explained with reference to any stimulus at hand. Although they may come to be predictable, they happen with NO apparent provocation (which is one of the reasons they are so devastating).
My best guess would be that "losing it" in the middle of a performance is not this kind of panic attack, because, while it may be predictable, it is most certainly not without provocation. Even when one truly enjoys performing, there is always a degree of risk involved in doing so that gets the adrenaline flowing.
The issue becomes one of learning to anticipate and to control the adrenaline response, rather than letting it control you. And by "anticipate," I don't mean get tied up in knots worrying about it happening and hoping that it doesn't. Rather, I mean that it seems wise to acknowledge ahead of time that an adrenaline response is going to happen, and recognize it for what it is -- and for what it is not. It is a normal thing to feel anxious in an anxiety-provoking situation. Feeling anxious before or during a performance does not mean that you have failed or are inadequate or powerless. It means your body is responding to a sense of challenge and is preparing you to act.
Sometimes, just accepting the normalcy of it all helps to take away its power to throw us off track. But beyond acceptance, I think why the so-called "Zen" approach works for me is that it gives me some simple, positive action -- thinking about only the note I am playing at the time -- that I can take to maintain or regain my sense of mastery and control.
And I also think that the bananas and milk and peanut butter and whole wheat and oatmeal and whatever other wholesome, complex carbohydrates we could add into the mix DO play a specific, and not at all mysterious, role in helping minimize the adrenaline response: it has to do with blood sugar physiology. If you're adequately nourished before you perform, you are much less likely to get clobbered by the blood sugar swing that occurs with the adrenaline response.
Here are a couple of sites I just found that make me think I am not talking complete smack:
http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/2000-02/949905631.Me.r.html
http://www.senseibryan.com/ART.htm
This one's about judo -- but it's interesting:
http://judoforum.com/index.php?showtopic=5520
Fun topic!
Susan
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