Author: ohsuzan
Date: 2015-02-07 03:56
Speaking of paranoia, what I find is that I play my very best in a supportively permissive situation -- but not in a completely uncritical situation.
I play in three different orchestras.
In one, the director is very permissive and studiously uncritical (he does have the ability to discriminate, but perhaps is defeated because the general level of musicianship there is "amateur" in the worst sense of the word). In that situation, for whatever reason, excellence is not expected, and it shows. It really is not fun, coming or going.
In the orchestra which was the subject of my post originating this thread, I DO get paranoid, as you say. I find that I am loathe to take any sort of risk, for fear of being called out. It has a very inhibiting effect on my playing, although the ultimate product is usually respectable. But not fun in the creation of it.
My favorite orchestra (and odds-on, the best of the three) is the one in which the director is intent on the musical effect -- the forest, not the trees. There is the opportunity to sin boldly -- but also the opportunity to soar. And more times than not, we soar.
Curious, no?
Susan
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