Author: ohsuzan
Date: 2009-11-22 01:48
OK. Well. Welcome to adulthood v. 2.1, Fantasy Meets Reality.
One thing I think you ought to consider is whether it was in fact clarinet playing that has been motivating you over the past few days, or was it instead a a nostalgic, perhaps rosy, vision of who YOU were when you were a clarinetist.
Nothing wrong with that. We all look back wistfully on our fond memories, and they often sustain us when our contemporary lives seem lacking. And let me assure you, if the special feelings you remember having when you played years ago were actually generated by the experience of being a musician, you will be able to get there again, if you persist in redeveloping your skill.
Any number of us here can attest to the truth of that. You could actually become a better musician this time around than you were as a youth. Maturity does have its benefits.
But even if you regain your excellence, it won't feel the same as it felt before, because you are doing it in a different context, and you are at this point a different person than you were then. You won't be able to get the old context back; it doesn't exist any more. The person who you were doesn't exist any more.
So if THAT was what you were hoping to find, you are likely to be disappointed. But if being a musician is really the thing you want,
you WILL be able to do that, to your enormous satisfaction.
Susan
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