 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: clarinet581
Date: 2009-11-21 22:33
Ok, thought that I'd find support from fellow musicians... Well, I shouldn't call myself a musician anymore. I'd like to be there, again.
Let me start off by saying, I started on clarinet at 8 years old. I played for a total of 12 years. I'll never forget the first time I picked one up. It was a magical experience. From that day on, I knew what I wanted to be in life. It had of course become a dream. I didn't come from a wealthy family, so at the time, music was all I had. They tried the best they could to make all my dreams come true. I started off with a plastic selmer student version, hahaha. HE (I named him Anselmo) was my best friend.
Years of tutors, years of playing, I was a pre-professional. I can honestly say on a professional level. I would always hold positions in honor orchestra on state, local and one time national honors orchestra. Behind my favorites in the states, but I didn't care. They were my friends. I had a great pre-professional career. Towards the end of high school, I finally decided, I wanted to turn the passion I had into a FULL OUT CAREER.
I had a few setbacks of course. Obviously I was good enough to get accepted into Northwestern. I was of course shooting for Julliard, NE Conserv, or Boston... Yet, when it came time to go, there goes the parents. I didn't get a scholarship like a few of my friends did. I ended up going to a different school that was more in my parents budget. Of course, I started out in music, until all my friends were getting gigs in their respective 'great' music schools. So, I thought, "hey, I'm in a great city" I think I'm good enough. I'm making a career out of it. So I try out for a symphony here. FAIL... I tried out for the orchestra for the ballet, FAIL... I tried out for the last and final, for the civic symphony, FAIL. Of course, there were like 10000000000 people trying out for like 1 or two chairs.
After those setbacks, I did the unthinkable.... QUIT.... I hadn't picked up a clarinet since.... I ended up with a degree in Mathematics. How does one go from Music to Mathematics you ask? Well, I went from something I LOVE, CHERISHED, and was DEDICATED to, to something I was just good at.
Fast forward to present day, I work a 9-5 in a petroleum conglomerate, I'm bored with life. NOTHING gives me the same love and passion as I had for music earlier in life. I've had everything from fancy cars, to great gadgets, a life one would call, wonderful... Yet, still, nothing gives me the same passion for life.
I happened to be riding in my car the other day, as you know, we're coming up on Christmas time. So, I put it on Sirius Pops, you know, the classical station, and Jesu, joy of mans desiring came on. I finally FELT it. The one thing I've been MISSING in life for 9 whole years, PASSION. I closed my eyes, and I honestly FELT it. I tuned the whole orchestra out, and heard the 1st and second clarinet part. It was something I vividly remember. Then a little Tchaikovsky came on, Waltz of the flowers. I picked up my phone, and googled the NEAREST music store to my home.
I saw it, and there it was, a row of clarinets... I fell in love with the LeBlanc Heritage Series Opus. It was BEAUTIFUL.. Let's remember I haven't played in 9 years, so I opted for the buffet e-11. $1700 later. I had one, my best friend was back. His name is benny.. Well, I got benny home, and I just looked and stared at it. I waited until morning....
Well, that was THIS morning. I picked benny up, popped a CD in the stereo that I bought, and sat in my chair, back straight. I felt the music in my soul, I saw the music on each sheet... BUT, it didn't translate to my fingers. Of course, I remember all fingerings, but it didn't transfer at the rate of the required to play. At least, to the point I was at earlier in life. As I sit here in tears, like earlier this morning. I feel maybe the passion has gone. There isn't anymore. I felt I found it once again. For now, I can feel it slipping away again. Just as I let it slip away when I gave up after not becoming pro. Maybe the time wasn't right for me at that time. I wasn't ready. My heart was, but I wasn't.
Will it ever come back? Will ever be as great as before? Why isn't it like riding a bike? I can still read music immpeccably, just not play like I could before. My tone is still very mature and rich.. BUT instead of playing the notes, my fingers have just learned how to type 110WPM... Is there any advice anyone can give me?
Regards,
Sad here with my new best friend....
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Author: FDF
Date: 2009-11-21 23:08
Don't neglect your new best friend. Take benny out to a community band and start playing.
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Author: skygardener
Date: 2009-11-21 23:46
I have gone through periods of not playing in my life- not 9 years, but a few months here and there.
When you come back to playing from a long break you will be much slower than you had been, but you will reach your old abilities in very short time.
If you practice at least one hour/day you will find that you sound quite good in only a month. Also, since you had been playing at a high level, you have the goal in your mind and that will aid your progress.
One method to help hear your progress better is, make a recording of yourself today. Don't listen to it. Practice regularly for a month. Make another recording. Then listen to both of them side by side and you will clearly hear your progress.
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Author: ohsuzan
Date: 2009-11-22 01:48
OK. Well. Welcome to adulthood v. 2.1, Fantasy Meets Reality.
One thing I think you ought to consider is whether it was in fact clarinet playing that has been motivating you over the past few days, or was it instead a a nostalgic, perhaps rosy, vision of who YOU were when you were a clarinetist.
Nothing wrong with that. We all look back wistfully on our fond memories, and they often sustain us when our contemporary lives seem lacking. And let me assure you, if the special feelings you remember having when you played years ago were actually generated by the experience of being a musician, you will be able to get there again, if you persist in redeveloping your skill.
Any number of us here can attest to the truth of that. You could actually become a better musician this time around than you were as a youth. Maturity does have its benefits.
But even if you regain your excellence, it won't feel the same as it felt before, because you are doing it in a different context, and you are at this point a different person than you were then. You won't be able to get the old context back; it doesn't exist any more. The person who you were doesn't exist any more.
So if THAT was what you were hoping to find, you are likely to be disappointed. But if being a musician is really the thing you want,
you WILL be able to do that, to your enormous satisfaction.
Susan
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Author: GeorgeL ★2017
Date: 2009-11-22 02:25
Look at the bright side of your situation: you have a job that apparently pays well. And you now have the time to spend on what you hope will again by your passion.
If you read this forum, or anything else about people in music, you will see that you were not alone in failing to get jobs, and for most musicians that problem lasts their entire life. Enjoy your freedom to pursue music as a hobby.
As someone who had a 15 year break after school before joining a community band and starting to play again, I second that route. Check out this web site to find a community band near you:
http://www.boerger.org/c-m/commother.shtml
Some of your local bands may have waiting lists; I would recommend joining whichever one(s) let you in. Even if your first band is not too good, other people who play in that band will often provide the recommendation that gets you into a better group.
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Author: clarinet581
Date: 2009-11-22 02:53
Thanks for all the wonderful info guys! I'm very happy to hear warm words from everywhere. I did look at the link. I've decided I'm going to get a private tutor to help. I'd like to say to Susan, thank you. I'm not expecting to feel the same as I felt in the past; however, the feeling was a great one. I would like to become more passionate about it again. You know, like a hobby. Beats stamp collecting, doesn't it? To George, thank you SOOOOOOOOOO much for the link!!!! There are a few bands I'm actually going to check out! I'm really excited about that! I'll be sending a few emails via their site to check for more information!
Thanks again guys!!!!! I'll keep everyone updated on my progress!!!!!!
Take care,
Gabriel
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Author: mrn
Date: 2009-11-22 05:35
Gabriel--
Your story sounds very similar to mine. I went into engineering and eventually into patent law. I can identify with what you're feeling--the burning desire to play, etc.
I started back up again a couple of years ago after several years of not playing (after I started working). I did have to regain a little bit of lost finger technique and tonguing speed, as well as embouchure strength, but it came back quickly. I think I play better now than I ever did before.
Practicing scales and arpeggios helped a lot. It's funny--I used to hate scales, but I actually get a lot of enjoyment out of playing scales and exercises these days because I can better see the improvement. In a way it's been good to pick up the instrument again after a bit of an absence from it, because it's given me an opportunity to rebuild my technique without some of the old bad habits I used to have.
By the way, there's a really great book for getting yourself in shape in short order that I've been playing out of recently. I've found it to be really helpful. It's called "Vade Mecum du Clarinettiste" and it's by Paul Jeanjean. It's specifically written for folks like us who don't have gobs of time to devote to practice, but truth be told, it's great for anybody. It has exercises to loosen up your fingers, work troublesome finger patterns in the left and right hands, improve tonguing, review scales and arpeggios, etc.
These days I play in a regional symphony orchestra. Both the principal player and I took up the clarinet again after some absence from it (his absence from the instrument being longer than mine).
So take heart, it WILL come back to you, and perhaps even sooner than you think at first!
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Author: Wicked Good ★2017
Date: 2009-11-22 15:02
Wow, what a similar story to mine. Except the tears part. I, too, stopped playing the clarinet as an adult, for eight years. I had had a professional musical career, albeit a local/regional one, and later worked for a paycheck in high tech. It got to be too much, and I didn't enjoy music anymore.
My story differs in that I continued to do a few saxophone gigs here and there; I didn't stop playing music completely. But, my best friend since 1977 sat in its case in the basement for years. (FWIW, it is a 1976 R13 in a 150th anniversary case, as in a recent thread.) The clarinet became joyless to me, and I was sick to death of the time it took to dork with reeds instead of practicing.
One day in 2001 the oboist in my former wind quintet asked me to sub in a local orchestra I had quit years before. It took awhile to get back to where I was comfortable playing clarinet in public again, but I haven't looked back since. I am playing more clarinet and more importantly, more MUSIC, since I was a recent college performance grad in the mid-1980s. I now play in a community orchestra, rejoined my old quintet, have a chamber trio, and play in a semi-professional wind symphony as well as in various local stuff as a sax/clarinet/flute doubler.
I still work in high tech full-time for a paycheck. With a child in college, a mortgage, car payments, etc., I cannot hope to resume a full-time musical career. However, I'm getting much joy from not depending upon music to support my family, and playing only when I want to. The advent of superior synthetic reeds have allowed me to spend more time practicing and less time futzing with cane reeds.
My point in all of this is to say that with time, practice, and PATIENCE, your skills WILL return. It may take awhile to regain your former level, but it will happen if you are diligent. And, you will be much happier having music in your life once again. You might even consider taking lessons from a local pro or college professor. And, take in the sage advice from folks on this BB like GBK, Ed Palanker, Ken Shaw, Tony Pay, to name but a very few. This is a resource you cannot ignore.
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Author: BartHx
Date: 2009-11-22 16:13
My break was 40 years. For my mother's memorial service, my brother suggested that we do the Bach Violin Double rearranged for two clarinets, a violin, and a bass viola da gamba. That was so much fun that I immediately went out and joined what turned out to be an outstanding and very patient community band. It takes time, but it does come back. Every week, my clarinet learns more and more about how it is supposed to behave (it couldn't be me, it must be the horn). Patience, persistence, and practice will eventually get benny properly trained.
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Author: BartHx
Date: 2009-11-22 16:25
By the way. . . .
I find the nights I least feel like going to rehearsal are the ones that turn out to do the most for me.
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Author: Lelia Loban ★2017
Date: 2009-11-22 20:47
>Well, that was THIS morning. I picked benny up, popped a CD in the stereo that I bought, and sat in my chair, back straight.> [Snip.]
>As I sit here in tears, like earlier this morning. I feel maybe the passion has gone. There isn't anymore. I felt I found it once again. For now, I can feel it slipping away again. >
> [Snip.]
>Will it ever come back?>
Not if you quit again after one day. It's way too early to get discouraged. I never had professional aspirations, but I wasn't a total hopeless case, since I did play first chair in my high school orchestra. Then I "quit forever." After years of not playing, when I first picked up the clarinet again, I played like a pig, and that's an insult to the pig.
I can't say how long it'll take you to get comfortable on the instrument again, but I didn't feel I could play my best for months. It took me several weeks of playing just to get my embouchure back to full strength, for one thing. Fast forward a couple dozen years: playing Eb soprano, Bb soprano, soprano in A, Eb alto and EEb contra clarinets, plus some saxophones, plus some recorders, plus keyboards, plus bodhran, plus monkeying around on a few ethnic winds, plus repairing and restoring -- still not playing like a pro, by any stretch of the imagination, but enjoying myself a whole lot.
There are a lot of come-backers here on this bulletin board, btw, so you're in plenty of company. I'll bet none of us came back all the way in one practice session (or one week, or even one month). The concrete suggestion I've got is that you set incremental, small, reasonable goals day by day, so that you can see progress -- and don't expect it to be steady progress, because hitting plateaus is a normal, necessary part of the learning *and* the re-learning process. We need those plateaus, because during a plateau, our brains and bodies consolidate what we've learned. I hope you give yourself a good chance -- and don't expect everything all at once.
Lelia
http://www.scoreexchange.com/profiles/Lelia_Loban
To hear the audio, click on the "Scorch Plug-In" box above the score.
Post Edited (2009-11-22 20:52)
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Author: Mark Charette
Date: 2009-11-22 21:01
clarinet581 wrote:
> Why isn't it like riding a bike?
It is. You probably didn't have a coach when you rode your bicycle. I did ... as an amateur bike racer back near 40 years ago. I have a reasonably nice bike now, but with an extra 60 lb saddlebag to drag around ... you get the picture, I'm sure (but don't let it into your imagination too long - nightmares will ensue  )
In other words, anything we want to do well will take time and effort, and regaining "where we were" will take even more time & effort - we're trying to catch up lost ground.
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Author: pewd
Date: 2009-11-22 22:28
> (his absence from the instrument being longer than mine)
17 years. i went brain dead for 17 years. what the heck was i thinking.
start with long tones. all 12 major scales, whole notes at qtr=60 or so.
then foundation studies, hite, southern music. (baermann 3)
have at it. it will come back.
- Paul Dods
Dallas, Texas
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Author: richard1952
Date: 2009-11-23 02:00
I'm happy for you that you got back to playing after a short period of time. In my case the time was much longer, in fact it was fifty years. I quit playing in 1955 and did not start again until 2005. At the age of 71, I picked up the clarinet and discovered I could still play it. Bought a tenor and a alto sax and play them also. I would suggest as others have that you join a local community band. I have played in four different community bands in the area and I am having the time of my life.
Stick with it and you will improve quickly.
Richard
Phoenix, AZ
richardseaman@cox.net
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Author: 78s2CD
Date: 2009-11-29 03:34
Clarinet is my first instrument. I played horn for twenty years and quit fifteen years ago. When I went back to clarinet, the playing in both the horn and clarinet sections of the band improved. I came back to the horn less than six months ago, and am playing better horn than ever before (IMO). So yes, I have no doubt you can come back on clarinet.
Best regards,
JIm Lockwod
Rio Rico AZ
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Author: DavidBlumberg
Date: 2009-11-29 17:04
It takes a while to get back and much longer to get to anywhere near a level that you previously had. Remember that it took years to get to where you were!
Have the music as a passion, and don't quit your day job - it will pay for the musical ventures (attending ClarFests, etc) - even having a practice room.
http://www.SkypeClarinetLessons.com
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Author: Ralph Katz
Date: 2009-11-29 21:16
I started on clarinet at age 8, have a degree in Math, and did not touch the clarinet from age 26 to age 30. Perhaps the similarities end there, but I am still playing at age 58 and can only hope you find enough rewards to keep at it.
I remember picking up the instrument after 4 years, and noting how good things seemed. But then next day, things were working exactly the same as the day before, and I realized how they sucked. After three days, there was some miniscule, but discernable progress. After a couple of weeks, it was clear that there was some measure of hope. So, => Keep At It.
You cannot judge results after only one day, one week, or perhaps even 1 year. In my case, it was 3 months and I was playing 4th chair 2nd clarinet in a community band. But 2 years later I was 4th chair 1st, and another 3 years later I was first chair. Again => ya gotta keep at it.
Do you have to play symphonies to be happy? Aren't there other things to do that are rewarding? The world is full of musicians who made their own way after losing auditions. There are pit orchestras, chamber gigs, jazz groups, bands that play weddings and (oy) Bar Mitzvahs, all that feature the clarinet. Don't limit yourself.
After winning his very first race, an acquaintance became a champion bicycle racer. But then, he injured a knee wrestling, came in 2nd in the first race after his recovery, and quit. This is not a particularly rewarding attitude, and would not have been my choice. Keep at it. The rewards will come.
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Author: Bluesparkle
Date: 2009-11-29 22:51
Welcome back. I'm here after a 25-year hiatus. I'm a real estate agent in real life, and that's how I make my money. It is an enjoyable career, and one in which I have found success. Sounds like you have also made your way in this world with your current career.
I work hard during the day and most weekends to pay the mortgage and the light bill. But when I'm done with work for the day it gives me tremendous pleasure to know that every week, I get to play with my church orchestra (yes, it includes some 7th graders and old folks who have come back). We don't even play hard music or sound particularly good, but we're all in it together. I just put together a quintet, and we got to play some holiday hymns this morning from the old Salvation Army Christmas book in the church narthex.
I'm playing with some of the local symphony players for our choir's Christmas cantata, and I am looking forward to that. I have willingly given up the idea that I will ever play professionally, as I have proven my professional skills lie elsewhere. There's no shame in that.
No...I'm not as good as I was when I was 20 years old (when I also thought I would be a professional musician). However, I know that when I was that age, making music started to become a chore, as the pressure of succeeding was high. Now it's purely for my own enjoyment, and hopefully for the enjoyment of the family and friends for whom I play. Now, music is NOT work...it's fun!
As others have suggested, find a group you can join so you can work toward the goal of performances. Spend your days on your career, and fill your free time with music. Just because you are not the best at something does not mean you close that door, never to be opened again. Music does feed the soul but not the stomach for most of us.
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