Author: vboboe
Date: 2009-02-02 19:09
... i've been thinking about this very important question a lot since it was asked, especially since my own December concert's post-mortem inventory defined stress, tension and nerves as the predominant error of my ways, so it's a personal problem that definitely needs solving, and it's one of the most common problems with everybody else too
so, let's discuss, what what might cause stress, tension, nerves, anxiety?
and what works to prevent, delay, over-ride, offset all this negative energy?
... one of the main starters i think, is the tension of waiting, the anticipation, the expectation that 'my' solo is coming up, and the longer it is before that actually happens, the 'tighter' i get
... but, the devlish irony here is, if i didn't know this piece already, the anticipatory terrors wouldn't be there, so maybe i should try and forget i know the piece and approach it 'baby-fresh' each time ? at this point, imagine the fragrance of baby powder and the goo-gah beauty of babies ...
... but, cold-reading nerves are just as bad ! Somehow my sight-reading skills still haven't arrived at the equivalent fluency of reading prose in a well cadenced manner, so until that skill level is acquired, that source of anxiety will not be resolved
while sitting there, waiting for that solo to come around, the following objectifying strategies help me (but only a little bit!)
first off, define the big picture, it's not 'my' solo, but 'the oboe's tone colour passage' (so frequently dominated by collective strings otherwise)
does anybody else have solos in this piece? appreciate their terrors of anticipation nerves, and wish them well on the humming universal continuo
-- then there's 'isolation contrast' ... the hushing of the lush string texture to expose the thin and light single instrument voice, this can be very stressful when the solo's in the difficult zones of the oboe's register, but if the solo is well placed in the oboe's 'power range' then anxiety is much reduced -- how to look good naked is everybody's buff dream, especially after the bloom of youth has long faded away ...
hey, it's not really 'me' in the spotlight' but 'the orchestra's oboe player' -- who the heck is that anyway, and where is that instrument hiding? can't be seen, hidden by strings, portfolio, music stand ... and the highly visible gesticulating and gyrating director
so the orchestra's oboe has to play to the audience's ears, not to their eyes -- somehow, this defuses one's potential shame and embarrassment in the false security of relative anonymity
one of the little tricks i'm finding helpful here is creative self-effacing fantasy ... it's not me, it's one of my admired oboists playing instead,
so, if my fantasized mimicking of an idol crashes, my own personal face isn't quite so red
... except that one's fellow musicians are the source of the worst embarassment though, the looks and avoidance moves they give you socially afterward and the ... uh ... awkward jokes with the forced laughter!
so, when it's my bloopers on the receiving end, what would i like to hear someone say to me, how manage that awkward situation with grace and caring for the human being, and what responses would be appropriate?
(... rehearse multiple possible scenarios ... find somebody who already has the gift and learn from them!)
if the solo is embedded somewhere in the piece, something that helps soothe my emotional brain is to soak up the music happening around me in the leadup, and then just 'sing oneself along into it' and the solo emerges un-self-consciously and more automatically by itself ... (especially if one's practised it umpteen times already and can do the technical stuff for it in one's sleep)
but, when it's the opening solo, or a completely different theme change, a different strategy seems to work better, oboe is now the DJ, the announcer, the 'hey you guys, listen to what's coming up, here's the theme melody ... " and boldly go where this audience has not gone before, and i do mean boldly and confidently, with leadership panache and an air of expectation that the other musicians will follow your lead, because some other section's is going to pick it up after the oboe and the oboe's total musical impression and mood projection can be what most ''inspires' them to get through their own initial nervous tension ...
as for technical preparation, there's no doubt that sufficient practice is very important to reducing stressful anticipation, so that there's a spontaneous flowing of musicality rather than just plodding through the score trying to catch all the main markings as indicated and making sense of it as you go along
but there's a down-side -- overdoing the practice, especially too close to the performance date and time, can cause temporary brain worms (looping the same melody over & over again) which makes it very hard for the auto-pilot part of the brain to let go back to manual over-ride playing, the fingers get stuck in the loop, and blooper notes happen right there trying to make the transition out of the solo passage
other things that add to nerves for me are just driving there through traffic, it's not uncommon to in be 'fight or flight' adrenalin peak after that, and really calming down again afterwards can take at least 20 minutes ... so arriving early enough to calm down is part of the solution
a rushed setup is really nerve-wrecking, so i like to be in place early enough to systematically and methodically ... andante pace ... set everything out just right, and know my instrument's working OK right now this very moment during today's (not yesterday's) warmup, and still time to chat with folks in front, each side and behind, and if the 'universal continuo' is hummin' moderato inside my head already by the time the director's baton is poised, good, i'm relaxed
feeling even a little bit thirsty is stress-inducing -- as is the increasingly urgent need to go -- so being well-hydrated is a potent stress-reliever, but that has to be balanced with sweat evaporation rate under the circumstances so that the bladder isn't in high demand ... the colder it is, the sooner the urge to go starts calling
feeling hunger coming on is stress-inducing and edges my tone shriller and sharper, but with conscious self-management, it's still easier to play well when only slightly hungry, and if the end of the performance is nearly there, and dismissal to an eaterie is within a foreseable time frame, it's OK to reassure hungry tummy it'll be fed very soon, and it'll trust you and stop complaining long enough for oboe to finish the music (have you heard a tummy growl amplified in a long tone vibrato ?!)
... but it's completely hopeless even trying to lip up to pitch when stuffed. do not go there
enough of the right kinds of foods in the last 48 hours seems to help a lot, because if the body's 'short changed' on some essential nutrient or other, that causes stress, for my body chemistry, it's generous supply of fresh source Vitamin C, folic acid from dark leafy greens, and a meaty protein still somewhere in the middle digestion process
agree whole-heartedly with enough sleep ... or perhaps it's even more complex than that, maybe what matters most is enough R&R ... sometimes we get really stressed by too much of same ol' same ol'
muscular 'fidgity' tension is a source of anxiety too, i find moderate exercise, especially stretches and dominantly rhythmic light calisthenics, and massage manipulations of wrists, hands and fingers very helpful destressing physical sources of tension
and, then there's 'absorbed tension' ... everybody else is nervous too, that's another big source of 'shared nerves' and i'm still problem-solving that one
well, these are some of my thoughts on the multi-faceted and complex challenge of staying cool for solos ... over to rest of you
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