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 Re: Performance nerves...
Author: Chris P 
Date:   2015-07-06 20:49
Attachment:  chris_p_btsb.jpg (54k)

I was very surprised and both saddened at the same time when I asked my teacher to do some dep work for me - she turned me down as she said she has suffered from stage fright and this has got increasingly worse over time. I don't know what the answer to it is. I've even tried to get her to play in the concert band I play in just to get her used to playing in public again. She's had some knocks from other orchestral players which I think has got to her, but as a teacher and with the passion she has for playing which she demonstrates to her pupils (the few she still has due to the local music authority poaching potential pupils from her), it's surprising she no longer wants to perform in public. I completely overhauled her oboe only recently to give her more confidence (only charged her for replacing the low C# pad) and would like her to make the most of playing and in public, but I think it's going to take a lot of time for her to summon up the courage.

A while back I had my confidence shattered when I had to play the concert band arrangement of 'Orpheus in the Underworld' overture where the oboe solo is up a semitone from the orchestral version - in Ab minor (7 flats) as opposed to G minor. Added to this was the fact I didn't feel particularly great on the day, this was also a joint concert and there were three other oboe players there who refused to play it and I also had no support from some other band members who only know of this arrangement and don't understand the pitfalls of playing a concert pitch instrument and playing in remote keys on an instrument that's neither my primary nor secondary instrument.

So for a while after that incident I had panic attacks before doing any solos or even playing in bands and other situations with these players who would take the piss at every opportunity simply because I can't play in 7 flats. Quite honestly why I play oboe at all is anyone's guess as it's a tightrope walk with absolutely no safety net. But on closer inspection I shrugged off the jibes as I know for a fact I can play with more musicality than these players who only play notes - both of the biggest culprits are horn players and they split notes left, right and centre and I've had more praise from infinitely better musicians than them which is what I choose to take comfort in as opposed to being knocked sideways from mediocre players.

I've even had audience members come to me after playing something as simple as 'Gabriel's Oboe' saying it brought them to tears, so if I can move people in an appreciative way with my playing, then that makes it all worthwhile. I do find I'm out of my comfort zone on oboe more than any other instrument, but once I know I have something nailed, that takes the pressure off me and I can relax.

I've read of cases with top concert soloists of any instrument that some still suffer with stage fright from a mild to very serious level, but they seem keep a lid on things and appear calm when performing, but are really churning up inside. So if it affects some of the world's top soloists, then we're either in good company or the downside is this is something that's going to take a lot to overcome.

Sarah Willis from the Berlin Phil spoke candidly of an instance at an audition that still has an impact on her as recalling the incident where some trumpet players mocked her, she started crying. But look where she is now and I can only hope these trumpet players are having a serious case of sour grapes.

I'm far more relaxed on my main instrument (bari sax) and playing Big Band music as that's what I cut my teeth on. While I was initially nervous when I started playing public gigs, one evening it all clicked into place when I told myself to treat it like a rehearsal and to forget the audience are there. That doesn't mean I completely ignore the audience, but I treat them as other band members sitting opposite me. When I'm well within my comfort zone I can engage with them and any knots in my stomach are soon undone.

See the attachment for a relaxed me!

Former oboe finisher
Howarth of London
1998 - 2010

The opinions I express are my own.

Post Edited (2015-07-06 20:51)

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 Topics Author  Date
 Performance nerves...  new
RobinDesHautbois 2015-07-06 05:11 
 Re: Performance nerves...  new
Chris P 2015-07-06 20:49 
 Re: Performance nerves...  new
Chris P 2015-07-06 21:01 
 Re: Performance nerves...  new
RobinDesHautbois 2015-07-13 02:30 
 Re: Performance nerves...  new
MikeC855 2015-07-06 21:38 
 Re: Performance nerves...  new
EaubeauHorn 2015-07-08 20:43 
 Re: Performance nerves...  new
mjfoboe 2015-07-10 00:44 
 Re: Performance nerves...  new
Chris P 2015-07-10 02:54 
 Re: Performance nerves...  new
Simonsky 2015-07-10 22:43 
 Re: Performance nerves...  new
RobinDesHautbois 2015-07-13 02:39 


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