 The Oboe BBoard
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Author: Chris P
Date: 2015-07-06 20:49
Attachment: chris_p_btsb.jpg (54k)
I was very surprised and both saddened at the same time when I asked my teacher to do some dep work for me - she turned me down as she said she has suffered from stage fright and this has got increasingly worse over time. I don't know what the answer to it is. I've even tried to get her to play in the concert band I play in just to get her used to playing in public again. She's had some knocks from other orchestral players which I think has got to her, but as a teacher and with the passion she has for playing which she demonstrates to her pupils (the few she still has due to the local music authority poaching potential pupils from her), it's surprising she no longer wants to perform in public. I completely overhauled her oboe only recently to give her more confidence (only charged her for replacing the low C# pad) and would like her to make the most of playing and in public, but I think it's going to take a lot of time for her to summon up the courage.
A while back I had my confidence shattered when I had to play the concert band arrangement of 'Orpheus in the Underworld' overture where the oboe solo is up a semitone from the orchestral version - in Ab minor (7 flats) as opposed to G minor. Added to this was the fact I didn't feel particularly great on the day, this was also a joint concert and there were three other oboe players there who refused to play it and I also had no support from some other band members who only know of this arrangement and don't understand the pitfalls of playing a concert pitch instrument and playing in remote keys on an instrument that's neither my primary nor secondary instrument.
So for a while after that incident I had panic attacks before doing any solos or even playing in bands and other situations with these players who would take the piss at every opportunity simply because I can't play in 7 flats. Quite honestly why I play oboe at all is anyone's guess as it's a tightrope walk with absolutely no safety net. But on closer inspection I shrugged off the jibes as I know for a fact I can play with more musicality than these players who only play notes - both of the biggest culprits are horn players and they split notes left, right and centre and I've had more praise from infinitely better musicians than them which is what I choose to take comfort in as opposed to being knocked sideways from mediocre players.
I've even had audience members come to me after playing something as simple as 'Gabriel's Oboe' saying it brought them to tears, so if I can move people in an appreciative way with my playing, then that makes it all worthwhile. I do find I'm out of my comfort zone on oboe more than any other instrument, but once I know I have something nailed, that takes the pressure off me and I can relax.
I've read of cases with top concert soloists of any instrument that some still suffer with stage fright from a mild to very serious level, but they seem keep a lid on things and appear calm when performing, but are really churning up inside. So if it affects some of the world's top soloists, then we're either in good company or the downside is this is something that's going to take a lot to overcome.
Sarah Willis from the Berlin Phil spoke candidly of an instance at an audition that still has an impact on her as recalling the incident where some trumpet players mocked her, she started crying. But look where she is now and I can only hope these trumpet players are having a serious case of sour grapes.
I'm far more relaxed on my main instrument (bari sax) and playing Big Band music as that's what I cut my teeth on. While I was initially nervous when I started playing public gigs, one evening it all clicked into place when I told myself to treat it like a rehearsal and to forget the audience are there. That doesn't mean I completely ignore the audience, but I treat them as other band members sitting opposite me. When I'm well within my comfort zone I can engage with them and any knots in my stomach are soon undone.
See the attachment for a relaxed me!
Former oboe finisher
Howarth of London
1998 - 2010
The opinions I express are my own.
Post Edited (2015-07-06 20:51)
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Author: Chris P
Date: 2015-07-06 21:01
... I think to me it's more of a case of feeling like I'm being judged which is what rattles my confidence more than anything else.
Former oboe finisher
Howarth of London
1998 - 2010
The opinions I express are my own.
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Author: MikeC855
Date: 2015-07-06 21:38
An inadvertent but simple cure to my stage fright occurred while I was still in school. I was obligated to a situation to perform for a small audience on an instrument (pipe organ) I knew going in that I was nowhere close to performance caliber. I pushed through it, fully aware I was terrible.
Probably not the best "remedy", but after that my on-stage confidence with instruments I could actually play improved greatly - I had already had "the worst thing" happen.
So the biggest stage fear these days amounts to "is my reed going to crap-out right before the big solo"? For that matter I once had a reed split right in the middle of "the" solo, but fortunately it was in the dress rehearsal and the cost to me was just a dirty look from the conductor.
-----
Confounding band directors since 1964.
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Author: EaubeauHorn
Date: 2015-07-08 20:43
With some people it is actually biochemical. I don't know if you have heard of 23andme, the place that takes a saliva sample and tells you some of your genetic makeup. I found out I had a genetic problem in what is called the sulfur pathway, that leads to dopamine production, making me chronically deficient in dopamine. If you are always low on dopamine and then you get under stress, it can be your undoing just because of the chemistry. In my case, I found that going "around" the genetic pathway problem via the amino acid L-tyrosine, had a HUGE positive effect on my performance nerves, that I and others had always figured were psychological. But no, in my case, it was literally biochemical, and 1000mg of L tyrosine 45 minutes before a performance takes a situation that would have had me literally shaking and nearly passing out (I have had to put my head between my knees numerous times on stage to keep from blacking out) to just normal nerves. This may or may not be someone else's problem but it is worth looking into. Not everything is psychological. And supplying a nutrient to fix a genetic pathway problem is definitely NOT the same as taking a drug to suppress the symptoms.
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Author: mjfoboe
Date: 2015-07-10 00:44
My tension lessened when I realize the most important aspect of playing wasn't making a mistake which does occur from time to time..... but to learn my part and others so well that I can regroup after a mistake is made by me or someone else in the ensemble so that most people will not notice!
Mark
Post Edited (2015-07-10 04:27)
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Author: Chris P
Date: 2015-07-10 02:54
Letting go instead of dwelling on minor mishaps is definitely a way to go. But there are always some people who don't let you forget if you've had a bad day - then you just have to rise above them as chances are they can easily criticise but can't demonstrate.
Former oboe finisher
Howarth of London
1998 - 2010
The opinions I express are my own.
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Author: Simonsky
Date: 2015-07-10 22:43
various levels of anxiety can be a significant issue. Often, when something is very meaningful to you personally and a lot is at stake emotionally things can get caught up in negative loops. I've suffered from this all my life and it has often stymied the feeling of what i want to give and express musically which can be very saddening indeed. I originally wanted to be a violinist but after not being able to deal with 'bow shake' issues I switched to oboe which, ironically, is a sort of 'violin of the woodwind family! Of course, issues translate across from one instrument to another. With oboe I find trying to not project the embouchure and breathing effort into hand tension subconsciously can help.
over the years I've seen many good musicians succumb to anxiety. I once hear a story about a professional french horn player who got so anxious his hands would shake as he got the instrument out of the case-he had to stop playing in the end.
Causes will vary from individual to individual anxiety can, in some cases be all encompassing and boundaryless. I've given up music for periods of time because of this but the awareness of the love of it always returns, so I still work with these issues. Childhood experiences play a part, especially with regard to feelings of safety and emotional security.
It's important to love yourself and allow yourself your humanity!
ekbainousi@gmail.com
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Author: RobinDesHautbois
Date: 2015-07-13 02:30
Sorry, it took me all this time to actually review the replys here! I've gotten so used to Facebook, I find the effort of coming here too much - OUCH HAVE I GOTTEN LAZY!!!!
I think this last comment of yours is right on the nail. This time, I was trying repertoire I did not completely have "under my belt" and part of the reason I played it "to warm up the instrument" is that I was actually not supposed to play anything myself: this concert was for the bell ensemble.... and so the hustle-bustle of people not paying attention to me was only the result of me pushing the envelope big-time ----- this is cause for feeling judged by friends and audience alike!
Robin Tropper
M.A.Sc., B.Mus., B.Ed.
http://RobinDesHautbois.blogspot.ca/music
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Author: RobinDesHautbois
Date: 2015-07-13 02:39
Thanks all for your valuable insight!
MikeC855 :
this makes a certain amount of sense. For me, "the worst thing" happened in software demonstrations during my graduate studies in computer engineering - it would take a couple of blog posts to describe THAT ONE!
=> very likely, subconsciously I might be transposing that thing.
=> this WAS new (for me) repertoire and very difficult at that, completely unaccompanied, so I had no familiarity or piano to fall back on....
EaubeauHorn :
I won't argue with you on that! At recital-exam time at the Conservatoire, I would have to take a beer or stronger drink to calm down my nerves.... as bad as that wrecked my performance ..... funny that auditions were only half as bad and public performances did not bother me...
Simonsky:
I think the biggest thing for me is difficulty concentrating.... which cyber-life (you-tube while at work and Facebook while relaxing in front of the TV) really doesn't encourage ---- "multitasking" as a lifestyle, I think, is dammaging in many other respects!
Robin Tropper
M.A.Sc., B.Mus., B.Ed.
http://RobinDesHautbois.blogspot.ca/music
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