Author: MrDanny
Date: 2022-06-17 23:17
This sounds so painful, and I'm sorry you're feeling this way.
You didn't say whether other people share your sense that the playing isn't going well. Many of us tend to be our worst critics -- in general, not just musically. Very often we judge ourselves harshly where others who know (or listen to) us do not. If you're isolating yourself from others because you think you're failing, one comparison that *is* worth making is between how we see (or hear) ourselves, and how people we respect see us. I hope you keep playing and talking with other musicians, and your friends too. This can shift our perspective in good ways.
I've found that plateaus in playing are transcended at unexpected points. It's similar to the way feeling really down passes as unpredictably as it arrives. The point is that it does pass -- more quickly if you stay engaged with good colleagues and friends, and keep having fun wherever you can. The fact that you're going to get past this is easier to see, and the downs lose their power to feel open-ended, if you've felt this way before and then felt better. But I hope this is a one-time experience for you!
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The Clarinet BBoard
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