 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Tobin
Date: 2011-02-23 11:46
Forget which clarinet they have in their hands and play the wrong tuning pitch?
James
Gnothi Seauton
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Author: Reedirect
Date: 2011-02-23 13:06
.....playing the major third on and on in a tune written in minor.
Best
Jo
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Author: Paul Aviles
Date: 2011-02-23 13:25
Similar to above.............. forget your stand, share the stand of the clarinetist next to you and grab the wrong horn for the big solo in Siegfried Idyll.
............Paul Aviles
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Author: David Spiegelthal ★2017
Date: 2011-02-23 13:35
Forgetting your music, while over 100 orchestra and chorus members are waiting for you to return to the stage after you've raced home at 80+ mph in heavy traffic to retrieve your folder.
Purely hypothetical situation, of course ![[whoa]](http://test.woodwind.org/clarinet/BBoard/smileys/smilie10.gif)
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Author: genekeyes ★2017
Date: 2011-02-23 14:02
Grabbing your double case for an early rehearsal and forgetting that your Bb is in the single case you used the night before.
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Author: davyd
Date: 2011-02-23 15:18
Getting a hairball during a "Peter & the wolf" solo.
Making noise during a silence.
In "Young persons guide ...", variation C, playing together instead of separately.
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Author: William
Date: 2011-02-23 15:39
Proudly rising from your principal clarinetist's chair to stand in front of your college Concert Band to play a solo for an audience of high school kids.....and your conductor whispers, "It isn't your turn yet".
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Author: Pascal
Date: 2011-02-23 15:45
To date a girl that plays the clarinet better than you do. Unless you're a doubler.
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Author: gsurosey
Date: 2011-02-23 16:04
> Forgetting your music, while over 100 orchestra and chorus members are > waiting for you to return to the stage after you've raced home at 80+
> mph in heavy traffic to retrieve your folder.
I've done that!
To add insult to injury, it was a concerto concert and I was supposed to be first. There was a piece before the concertos started (thankfully I wasn't playing in it), so I had a little more time for travel. I had to play as soon as I got there (of course, I was playing the 2nd Mvt of the Mozart Concerto, so my cold A clarinet was being used). Don't think the intonation was horrible considering (and I'm glad that I had that memorized; it was the other pieces I had to drive back and get).
Rachel
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Author: GBK
Date: 2011-02-23 16:05
If you're playing orchestral 2nd clarinet, don't warm up by playing the solos from the Principal part.
...GBK
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Author: JJAlbrecht
Date: 2011-02-23 16:13
Dating a trumpet player or a drummer.
'Nuff said!
Jeff
“Everyone discovers their own way of destroying themselves, and some people choose the clarinet.” Kalman Opperman, 1919-2010
"A drummer is a musician's best friend."
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Author: bmcgar ★2017
Date: 2011-02-23 17:53
Not caring for Ricardo Morales's sound?
Using the barrel and bell that came with the clarinet?
Never, ever wanting to play Shepherd on the Rock?
B.
Post Edited (2011-02-23 17:58)
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Author: Jack Kissinger
Date: 2011-02-23 18:30
Calling an eefer an effer.
Or... playing the mozart concerto on tenor sax.
Best regards,
jnk
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Author: Caroline Smale
Date: 2011-02-23 18:32
Forgetting to switch to A (or was it Bb) before playing the cadenza in 1st act finale G&S Patience. Fortunately it was dress rehearsal but the strings really had a surprise when they played their next entry.
I checked, double checked and checked again before playing that solo every following performance..
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Author: Wes
Date: 2011-02-23 19:39
Picking up the wrong clarinet, of course. Everybody hears the wrong notes, except the conductor who accuses the oboe player of playing the wrong notes. It has happened to me more than once as an oboe player myself.
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Author: mankan
Date: 2011-02-23 19:50
Practise in the sauna. With a big brother that takes every oppurtunity to tease and make you sweat ... Well you can imagine what happened
mankan
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Author: David Spiegelthal ★2017
Date: 2011-02-23 19:50
Years ago when I was playing 2nd clarinet in a community orchestra, the principal player picked up the wrong clarinet to start a work, which began with solo clarinet only, and very quiet strings. There was nowhere to hide (and no blaming the oboist!). His face turned an impossibly dark shade of deep red while he struggled with the barrel, thinking he had just pulled it out or pushed it in too far. But to no avail -- the conductor had no choice but to halt the orchestra, give the clarinetist time to switch instruments, and re-start the work. Took the poor fellow (who was very high-strung to begin with) years to get over that incident.
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Author: Claire Annette
Date: 2011-02-24 02:34
Forgetting to:
Pack your reeds or ligature when changing cases.
Take your swab with you in a long performance.
Watch the conductor's cue for your solo.
Realize the conductor's cue was for your solo.
Play the solo.
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Author: davyd
Date: 2011-02-24 02:55
One time I interrupted a dress rehearsal (the only one I was able to attend) because a cut wasn't marked correctly. Even though I'd been given bad information, I didn't make any friends that morning. Another time, I interrupted the proceedings because I was missing a page that contained an important entrance. Again, not my fault, but again, not a good situation.
Picking up the wrong Bb-vs-A instrument is certainly not good. Picking up the wrong Bb-vs-Bass instrument is perhaps not as obvious, but is every bit as disconcerting.
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Author: clarinetguy ★2017
Date: 2011-02-24 05:10
One that I can think of is not having a few good reeds ready for a concert.
Now, thinking of what I've done . . .
Way back when I was in sixth grade, I played in a large youth honors band made up of students from several schools. Those were the days when bands had large clarinet sections and small sax sections (unlike today, when you'll often see eight clarinets and twelve saxophones). In one piece, the clarinets had a nice exposed melody in the low register, and I let out a loud squeak in the middle of it at our big concert. Nobody mentioned it, and I never confessed! This happened over 40 years ago, and I still remember it.
Many years later, I was at a college band rehearsal. The conductor's beat wasn't always clear, it had been a long day, and we were playing something with difficult rhythms. The conductor was hot-tempered, and he didn't take kindly to mistakes in his rehearsals. I was usually well-prepared, but on this day I loudly played a note on a rest. The conductor then launched into an angry tirade that went on for several minutes. He never found out who did it, and again, I didn't confess!
Post Edited (2011-02-24 05:13)
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Author: Fishamble
Date: 2011-02-24 08:53
Walking from dressing room towards the stage area, distracting myself from my nerves by concentrating on how my runners squeeked on the floor tiles of the corridor, and how the sound varied interestingly if I walked on the outside edges compared to the...OH MY GOD, I'M WEARING RUNNERS!!
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Author: Lelia Loban ★2017
Date: 2011-02-24 12:23
My worst faux pas happened in high school when I had an exposed solo in a symphony. Big moment arrived and out of my clarinet came ... nothing, bupkes, nada, zilch, squadoosh. I was so nervous I was probably biting like a crocodile and choked the reed. Fortunately, the second clarinet player, who got stuck there only because I had a year's seniority on him, knew all about my stage fright problems, came in with only a fraction of a beat's hesitation and played the solo better than I would've anyway. After that we called it my "John Cage solo."
Lelia
http://www.scoreexchange.com/profiles/Lelia_Loban
To hear the audio, click on the "Scorch Plug-In" box above the score.
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Author: concertmaster3
Date: 2011-02-24 13:40
This wasn't mine, but one of my friends'....
We were playing Mahler 9 and my friend was playing Eb Clarinet. If any of you have played the aux. parts (I was on English horn), you know that they don't play much, and when they do, it's usually exposed.
We were in rehearsal and it came to one of those moments when she had a solo, and since we were in rehearsal, we had been playing the section before, over and over again. So we finally moved on to her solo and of course nothing came out. The conductor stopped, and in his French accent, asked "What happened _(Her name here)_?" She replied, in her innocent little voice, "It got hard sitting in my lap!"
And the orchestra (including the conductor) were in a hysterical laugh.
Ron Ford
Woodwind Specialist
Performer/Teacher/Arranger
http://www.RonFordMusic.com
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Author: Alseg
Date: 2011-02-24 13:48
Cell phone goes off during concert of major symph orchestra. Conductor and soloist stop, soloist (famous guitar virtuoso) chides the audience. Concert resumes. Some funny grins noted in the wind section....hmmm.
Discreetly, a few moments later, one of the principal woodwind players slowly reaches into a gig bag......makes sure the offending cell phone is now turned off. I saw it happen.
Former creator of CUSTOM CLARINET TUNING BARRELS by DR. ALLAN SEGAL
-Where the Sound Matters Most(tm)-
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Author: clarinetwife
Date: 2011-02-24 14:02
When I was in high school we were playing a band arrangement of the Nutcracker. I was taking the oboe solo on my clarinet since we did not have an oboe player. At the concert I sailed in on a nice clarion A -- and sailed back out again. I was early! My dad commented on how nicely I shaped the note on my "precipitous" solo. He was a lifelong season ticket holder to our local symphony, so he knew the piece.
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Author: HCR
Date: 2011-02-24 15:21
Many years ago I played in a concert that consisted of the Mozart Clarinet Quintet (with me as clarinetist) in the first half and the local college orchestra playing a Haydn symphony in the second half. Shortly after the Mozart began, the poor cellist saw his instrument begin sliding rapidly away from him across the floor (his bit of carpet had failed). So he made a massive overhand grab for it, hauled it back in, and resumed playing. That broke us all up -- and we shouldn't have let our eyes meet for the rest of the movement. Impossible, of course, if we were to play together, with the obvious result. Giggling is not too bad for string players, but giggling is ROTTEN for a clarinet embouchure, as everyone in the audience that night could testify. To top it off, the college orchestra's second oboe didn't show up, so during the intermission I was asked to look over the part and then transpose it on my Bb in the concert's second half. The first oboist's assistance was to grin and say, "It's Haydn: just play a third under me." Well, I was a better transposer than that, but I found out later that the friends who had come to the concert with me had been completely unaware that I was back onstage in the second half.
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Author: Sally
Date: 2011-02-24 16:03
I agree with the previous post - laughing!
One of those fits of uncontrollable giggles absolutely slays a clarinet and I am ashamed to admit I have done it live onstage....I later claimed for the show report that my reed "had got broken".
Never again! (I hope!)
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Author: Bassie
Date: 2011-02-25 12:59
Faux pas? All these drive me nuts (and I've done some of them myself). I guess they apply to any instrument...
- Whistling the tunes in the green room
- Playing recognisable melodies on stage at half time
- The big out-of-time foot tap ...
As for A/Bb (yes, I too have played an opening solo a semitone out)...
This one pit show, the oboist is off chatting to the pianist so I blow a quiet concert Bb to my neighbour to check how far out we are with each other. Oboist immediately wakes up and pipes a strident 'A', stumbles, coughs, and maniacally tries to retune her instrument by a whole semitone...
oops.
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Author: Chris P
Date: 2011-02-25 15:20
Playing a non-Buffet clarinet.
Former oboe finisher
Howarth of London
1998 - 2010
The opinions I express are my own.
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Author: Ken Shaw ★2017
Date: 2011-02-25 15:47
For those of us old enough to remember:
LSMFT [Loose Suspenders Means Falling Trousers]
Ken Shaw
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Author: PrincessJ
Date: 2011-02-25 18:39
Boooo, Chris. I can play circles around your Buff-it with my Selmer.
(Just joking in good spirit... no offense intended. )
The biggest faux-pas a clarinetist can make is forgetting to bring the clarinet to the concert in the first place, i.e. picking up the conn case, and only remembering after you get there, that your instrument was in the other case back home. I've done it.
-Jenn
Circa 1940s Zebra Pan Am
1972 Noblet Paris 27
Leblanc Bliss 210
1928 Selmer Full Boehm in A
Amateur tech, amateur clarinetist, looking to learn!
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Author: Chris P
Date: 2011-02-25 21:52
I seem to be the only one that plays Selmers wherever I go as almost everyone else I know plays Buffets - I only know of two other Selmer players, one of which bought one of my old Centered Tones off me.
Former oboe finisher
Howarth of London
1998 - 2010
The opinions I express are my own.
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Author: JJAlbrecht
Date: 2011-02-25 22:13
Chris, *I* don't have Buffet.
Jeff
“Everyone discovers their own way of destroying themselves, and some people choose the clarinet.” Kalman Opperman, 1919-2010
"A drummer is a musician's best friend."
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Author: ned
Date: 2011-02-25 22:23
Taking issue with Tony Pay could be one............
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Author: clarinetwife
Date: 2011-02-25 23:45
Selmers for me as well, Chris, Bb and A. The A is a full Boehm about the same vintage as PrincessJ. I have been faux pawing since I was 12 since my starter Bb was an older Selmer Paris as well.
Only slightly behind bringing the empty case, of course, would be bringing the instrument and case while leaving the reeds at home.
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Author: Tony F
Date: 2011-02-26 03:56
Playing Eb in a military band many years back, we formed up and with 20 minutes spare put our instruments down where we stood and fell out for a cup of tea. When we reformed I found the trumpet section had sold my clarinet to a small boy in the crowd for half a crown. With seconds to go before we were off, I had to buy it back from him for 5 shillings.
Tony F.
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Author: PrincessJ
Date: 2011-02-26 14:31
Well it's nice to see I have a circle of selmer fans to back me up.
I don't hate buffets, I just like selmers much more. Hah.
Clarinetwife, I'm proud to say I haven't done it. Even the empty case I brought has a couple good reeds (never before opened) in it.
I have, however, forgotten my "good" mouthpiece a couple times (I need to stay more organized). I've also left MP's in various places over the years, I have far too many.
-Jenn
Circa 1940s Zebra Pan Am
1972 Noblet Paris 27
Leblanc Bliss 210
1928 Selmer Full Boehm in A
Amateur tech, amateur clarinetist, looking to learn!
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Author: Loliver
Date: 2011-02-26 14:40
Sneezing during the flute/harp duet in movement 3 of L'arlessienne.
Accomplished 3 things-
Loud squeak from clarinet, as was wetting the reed at the time
Filling mouthpiece with phlegm, so read stuck down for movement 4
Covering music with...mucus, staining it forever
Oh...and the other two clarinets couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the concert
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Author: clarinetist04
Date: 2011-02-26 16:20
Yes, I recall completely blowing the solo part in L'Arlessienne. The original concert was canceled for a snow storm and rescheduled for later in the week. Out of my routine, I brought the wrong reed case and was completely out to lunch. Conductor looks at me...no sound, couldn't get anything to come out. It was a bad deal all around. Glad that happened in high school - it didn't hurt that the conductor had missed a cue or two and the whole orchestra was completely out of whack. Strange concert.
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Author: gsurosey
Date: 2011-02-26 17:26
Ah, L'Arliesienne II...
I played that last year (alto sax for mvts 1-3, clarinet II for mvt 4). I had to play the 2nd half of the 3rd mvt on clarinet since my sax was out of adjustment and the lower notes wouldn't play. It only took me 1 rehearsal to find out that I had to transpose the sax part on Bb clarinet (I tried to transpose to A, but the tritone difference made my brain hurt). Bummer since the 4th mvt of the clarinet part is in A, so I needed 3 instruments for that piece.
I've forgotten switches in many rehearsals; I don't remember if I've ever carried that over to a concert. I have also mis-matched my joints and wondered what was up with the intonation until I figured it I had half an A clarinet with half a Bb clarinet.
Rachel
Oh yeah, as for the brand war: in one of the orchestras I play in, the principal plays on a set of Yamahas (not sure which model; I don't see Yamahas much in non-student settings). In the other orchestra, the clarinetist covering the oboe parts plays on a LeBlanc (not sure which model either, but I can hear how sharp he is especially in the throat tones).
----------
Rachel
Clarinet Stash:
Bb/A: Buffet R13
Eb: Bundy
Bass: Royal Global Max
Post Edited (2011-02-26 17:29)
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Author: Kontra
Date: 2011-02-27 04:20
Date a girl in the colorguard -_-
As a marching band leadership instructor told us once, "Just wait till she hits herself with the rifle. Then she's damaged goods."
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Author: PrincessJ
Date: 2011-02-27 13:54
Rachel, I'm not too surprised re the Yamahas. With the right set up certain models can be a great deal. I haven't personally seen them in a non-student environment but like I said, nothing is impossible.
Yamaha does make intermediate and professional instruments.
(lurking this thread has been a very entertaining and relatively educational experience thus far)
-Jenn
Circa 1940s Zebra Pan Am
1972 Noblet Paris 27
Leblanc Bliss 210
1928 Selmer Full Boehm in A
Amateur tech, amateur clarinetist, looking to learn!
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Author: concertmaster3
Date: 2011-02-27 15:36
<--plays on Yamaha CSV's
They can stand up to any other professional line clarinet, and for a fraction of the price.
Ron Ford
Woodwind Specialist
Performer/Teacher/Arranger
http://www.RonFordMusic.com
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Author: JJAlbrecht
Date: 2011-02-27 16:47
Current Leblancs are noted for their excellent intonation, nad have been since Tom Ridenour brought out the Concerto and Opus lines. My Leblanc/Backun Symphonie is even better in that regard!
Jeff
“Everyone discovers their own way of destroying themselves, and some people choose the clarinet.” Kalman Opperman, 1919-2010
"A drummer is a musician's best friend."
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Author: Claire Annette
Date: 2011-02-28 04:10
Actually,my biggest faux pas(es) can be linked to my reeds. Most recently, I squeaked like a beginner, more than once, in a concert last week.
Over two decade ago, I had the opening clarinet solo in the oratorio "King David." When my cue came, I blew and there was complete silence. My reed didn't respond at all. The angry conductor kept conducting through the silence...the same silence he treated me to when I tried to apologize to him after the performance.
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Author: donald
Date: 2011-02-28 05:28
Technically this isn't a faux pas....
In 1992 i was "Acting Principal" for the Christchurch Symphony Orchestra (yes, the city destroyed by an earthquake last week) and had to play Cappricio Espagnol in a concert that was broadcast live across NZ, and recorded for future replays....
So, half an hour before the concert the hole in my mouthpiece patch became just too annoying, so i pulled the patch off thinking i had one to replace it. No such luck, and with the old one in a rubbish bin i decided to just play without a patch. I should mention that at that time my front teeth were very uneven making the mouthpiece precarious without a patch. (I've since had them filed so that they are level).
So, feeling a little insecure but full of bravado, i launched into the piece. One of the open Gs split, and i mean REALLY split- not just a high D but some ghastly note in the stratosphere that was audible to people OUTSIDE the auditorium...
The rest of the concert went ok actually.
But that squeak went out across the country, and the whole concert was replayed twice a year for the following 3 or 4 years. This squeak haunted me- every so often i'd get phone calls from friends laughing "guess what i just heard on the radio".
dn
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Author: JAS
Date: 2011-02-28 05:34
Mahler 3 on the program...no intermission after the first movement, and right after the opening of the first movement you realize you really really need to go to the bathroom...
Not unique to clarinet I suppose
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Author: EEBaum
Date: 2011-02-28 06:04
JAS:
In some families, kids having to go to the bathroom on a road trip is solved with a bottle rather than a restroom stop. Are you doubling on bass...??
-Alex
www.mostlydifferent.com
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Author: donald
Date: 2011-02-28 08:07
Isn't there a Jack Brymer story about him, or a colleague, having to go to the loo in the middle of a Mahler symphony?
dn
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Author: Chris P
Date: 2011-02-28 10:12
Is using the original barrel and bell the instrument came with and using the same ligature for the last 13 years also a faux pas? Should I have a different bell, barrel and ligature for every single day of the month?
Former oboe finisher
Howarth of London
1998 - 2010
The opinions I express are my own.
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Author: skygardener
Date: 2011-02-28 12:28
There was a time after I finished university when I was practicing a lot at home. After practice, I would put the clarinet in the case, but leave the music, reed cases, etc on the table and hang the swab on the stand to dry. During this period, when I would leave the house with the clarinet every once in a while, I would often forget the swab... and once at a performance I forgot REEDS!!! I had to borrow one from a friend. When I told her, her immediate reaction was, "Wow, I had no idea you were so dumb!"
Very funny situation... if it is not you!
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Author: donald
Date: 2011-02-28 18:43
I once went to rehearsal with no swab, a violin player friend of mine in the back of the 2nds (who i know has "family money") lent me her silk scarf, which i used to clean the clarinet by pushing it through. I was to take the scarf home and clean it before returning it, but took a few days to get around to doing so. My sister saw the scarf and said "oh my, where did you get THAT?!" etc etc. It turned out the scarf was worth about $500 nz$...
dn
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Author: davyd
Date: 2011-02-28 19:53
Not clarinet-related, but relevant:
A 2nd violinist interrupted rehearsal to wonder why she was playing something different from the rest of her section. Turns out: she was reading from a copy of a bowings part from the concertmaster (a 1st part) rather than the 2nd part she'd been issued.
We had finished the 1st movement of some 18th-century symphony, and started in on the slow 4/4 time 2nd movement, only to be distracted by a trumpet playing in moderate 3/4. He had missed an "Adagio - Tacet" marking, and launched straight into the minuet.
Having both the "Festive overture" of Dmitri Shostakovich and the "Festive overture" of Alfred Reed in the folder at the same time is an accident waiting to happen, and sure enough, it did, more than once.
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Author: Tony F
Date: 2011-03-01 12:47
I heard of an oboist who dropped his reed, and then trod on it while fumbling around trying to find it as inconspicuously as possible.
Tony F.
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Author: BartHx
Date: 2011-03-01 15:41
The biggest faux pas I can think of is to put the instrument away and not continue playing. Even if you are not a pro, there are lots of community groups out there ready and willing to help you out. I speak from (thankfully past) experience.
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Author: JJAlbrecht
Date: 2011-03-01 15:46
Gotta agree, there. I put my clarinet down for more than twenty years. Biggest mistake I ever made! I have begun playing again, and rekindled my love affair with playing and music in general.
“Everyone discovers their own way of destroying themselves, and some people choose the clarinet.” Kalman Opperman, 1919-2010
"A drummer is a musician's best friend."
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Author: BartHx
Date: 2011-03-02 00:02
For forty years, the only time I got my instrument out was when my high school physics students got to the unit on sound and we used an oscilloscope to look at various sounds. For my mother's memorial service, my brother came up with an arrangement of the Bach Violin Double set up for two clarinets, a violin, and a viola de gamba (instruments available in the family). My clarinet and I got recruited to play the high orchestra line. I had so much fun that I immediately started checking out community bands. I found one with a fantastic group of people and some really great musicians and have been having a ball ever since. Why the heck didn't I do that sooner? No faux pas while playing can be as bad as not playing at all.
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Author: Ed Palanker
Date: 2011-03-02 00:26
My biggest was several years ago when I thought I left my bass clarinet in my locker and realized it was home as I entered the hall. I sent my wife rushing home to get it, she was coming to that concert, and I had to play the first half on my regular clarinet. Of course I had to tell the conductor what I was doing. Fortunately nothing was exposed in that half and I had my bass by the second half for which I did have some exposed bass clarinet parts. Now I double check my studio before leaving the house. ESP http://eddiesclarinet.com
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Author: chorusgirl
Date: 2011-03-02 18:28
Wat a great thread - I'm laughing as a read through these replies!
At our most recent winter concert, my colleague (7th and 8th grade band director) comes up to me 5 minutes before concert time to ask if my son (an 8th grader in his band) has a spare clarinet MP - one of his seventh grade clarinet students, after warming up, accidentally tapped her MP against something and suffered quite a large, nasty chip rendering her MP unplayable.
My son didn't have an extra in his case, but we have quite a few at home (my older son plays also). I grabbed my husband out of the audience, told him the problem, and asked him to run home (about a 10 minute drive) to grab a spare MP. He is not a musician and can't tell the difference between a clarinet MP and a tuba MP, so I sent my oldest son with him.
They raced home, got another MP, raced back, and made it just as the seventh grade band was getting onto the stage. The young lady got the MP and was able to play the entire concert.
I have no idea, to this day, who she is (even though I teach at the same school) - she gave my middle son the MP back after the concert, and I only assume she bought her self another MP at this point. But, at least she was able to play!
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The Clarinet Pages
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