 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Jeff
Date: 2000-07-11 03:32
OK, I got bored today since I can't practice(wisdom teeth taken out on Friday-it still really hurts), and I came up with this idea.
Let's make a list of all the problems that clarinet players face! That would be very interesting to see what everyone had to say and give some laughs at the same time.
I'll Start- 1. Flutter Tonguing
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Author: Ginny
Date: 2000-07-11 05:01
Reed splinters in the lower lip. Ouch, really. Gotta sand those babies.
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Author: Dee
Date: 2000-07-11 10:07
Ginny wrote:
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Reed splinters in the lower lip. Ouch, really. Gotta sand those babies.
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I've only heard of this happening on the absolute cheapest of reeds. What brand & model were you using?
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Author: Michael Kincaid
Date: 2000-07-11 12:07
Jeff wrote:
Let's make a list of all the problems that clarinet players face!
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If I practice too much I get a rash on my bottom lip.
When I was in Junior High (many, many years ago in a galaxy far, far away) everyday on the bus kids would look at my
lip and ask what was wrong with me. I lived like that for 2 years. Deep down I think I was proud of that rash.
(I may not see anymore posts today--It's time to head to Norman OK!!) Michael
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Author: Cathy
Date: 2000-07-11 12:52
clarinet swelling up and being difficult to take apart in humid weather.
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Author: paul
Date: 2000-07-11 13:24
The higher the pitch of the notes, the more irritating it gets for the poor family hearing you practice.
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Author: Contragirl
Date: 2000-07-11 15:22
Trying to have good articulation with a mouthpiece IN your mouth, unlike brass and flute players with it ON their mouth.
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Author: Ken Shaw
Date: 2000-07-11 15:24
Deciding whether to have my bamboo tooth implant replaced with Legere or having another front tooth knocked out so I can have both.
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Author: Kontragirl
Date: 2000-07-11 16:11
(For those of us who march) Having to have two instruments, a nice one for concert band, and a junky plastic one for marching.
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Author: Ginny
Date: 2000-07-11 16:12
Dee, I use Vandoren. I'd tried Rico Royals,did like them as well.
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Author: Katherine Pincock
Date: 2000-07-11 16:25
Oh, gosh, I can think of just a few...
--only two spots per orchestra (well, usually anyway)
--tone holes that fill with water
--reeds that work either in Ontario (where I study) or in Nova Scotia (where I grew up) but not both, and get upset with me every time they travel between the two
--inhaling reed splinters (yes, it can happen with the best brands, and I do it ALL the time)
--clarinet thumb. That's what I've coined the horrible callous on my right thumb formed where I rest my instrument. Plus, it turns bright red and swells after I practice (it's normal, and doesn't hurt, it just looks awful.)
And, worst of all:
--every time a non-musician sees me carrying a standard Bb clarinet case, they always ask me, "Oh, you play the flute?" ;-)
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Author: Fred
Date: 2000-07-11 17:04
Playing an instrument that announces my mistakes and its' repair problems with a SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
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Author: Don Berger
Date: 2000-07-11 17:10
Vunderbahr - I can identify with nearly all of the above, had "fatigue- squeeks" [bad fingerings likely] on my bass cl near the end of 4 perfs of "Cinderella". Don
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Author: Tim
Date: 2000-07-11 17:20
Katherine Pincock wrote:
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And, worst of all:
--every time a non-musician sees me carrying a standard Bb clarinet case, they always ask me, "Oh, you play the flute?" ;-)
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This for me is one of the most irritating things about playing the Clarinet. It gets worse, too. Some think that it would be really witty if they pointed out that they thought I was carrying around a "Chicago Piano", or was perhaps some kind of drug dealer. And why do they always think that they're the first to point it out?
Another for me is going to wind band and realizing that the people either side of you are much better. Then this sort of vicious circle thing happens that the more intimidated I feel the worse I play. By the end I am despairing, asking "Why didn't I choose a nice instrument, like the flute, or something?" Although the Clarinet can produce some of the most beautiful sounds, it can also produce some of the most hideous sounds imaginable to the inexperienced player.
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Author: Bob the Composer
Date: 2000-07-11 17:25
Pam wrote:-------------------------------
No microphones in the pit sometimes!
Bob:
Nobody should have any microphones! Musicians should be able to play or sing loud enough that they don't need them. They certainly did fine without them in the 19th century.
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Author: S.Koumas
Date: 2000-07-11 18:34
Mine is the same Katherine Pincock! i whilst carrying my Bb Clarinet have been asked whether it is a guitar, violin, keyboard and once even a cello, how is this possible with a case which is NOT even a foot long or HALF a foot wide!
But the biggest problem has to be the Mother!
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Author: Shadow Cat
Date: 2000-07-11 20:17
I'm making my stupid pet human type this. Typical, typical, the way these clarinetists think only of their own woes. What about your cats? Think of what we put up with daily, out of the goodness of our hearts, so that you may indulge your nasty little vice of clarinet hooting. Oh, the agony, the misery of the horrid noises you inflict upon our sensitive ears, but we bear it all with long-suffering grace.
--Shadow Cat
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Author: Kontragirl
Date: 2000-07-11 20:42
Katherine Pincock wrote:
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And, worst of all:
--every time a non-musician sees me carrying a standard Bb clarinet case, they always ask me, "Oh, you play the flute?" ;-)
You should hear some of the stuff they ask me! What is that? A tuba? A bazooka? Yes, I carry a bazooka around with me. Do you happen to have any ammo on you? I left mine in my other jacket.
Maybe we should have another BBoard for pets of clarinet players...they seem to have a lot to say (my cats are in total agreement with Shadow Cat) >^..^<
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Author: SusieQ
Date: 2000-07-11 20:59
Playing the bass clarinet I get comments like, "that must be a saxaphone" or "what kind of instrument is that". When I say it is a bass clarinet I still hear, "but it looks like a sax". All the above woes are applicable to the bass clarinet, along with not being heard. Gotta love it anyway.
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Author: Todd H.
Date: 2000-07-11 21:59
That's so true Katherine P. At work the guys said "Oh, yeah, just like Kenny G." Aargh! "Well no, not exactly; but it is hard to argue with his success" I said, before I just <had> to leave.
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Author: Dee
Date: 2000-07-11 22:01
Ginny wrote:
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Dee, I use Vandoren. I'd tried Rico Royals,did like them as well.
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But were these the ones with splinters? I've never seen any on Vandorens. They only place I've seen it is the plain, orange box Ricos (NOT their other models).
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Author: A. Person
Date: 2000-07-11 22:17
Reading D... V....... posts
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Author: Ginny
Date: 2000-07-11 23:02
It was the Vandorens!
Boy did it hurt, no need to go into the detail.
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Author: Hiroshi
Date: 2000-07-12 02:55
My friend cat,who lived with me between 5 and 27, tried to go out everytime I started clarinet.
When it was winter,she looked back at me in front of window I opened for her to ascertain whether I still continue to play clarinet. Of course I continued. She got out as if trying to show me that she does not like to go to the chilly outside. When I finished,she patted the window to let her in.
By the way, my brother also play clarinet. Every time he start to play outside crow comes to hear his play. When play inside, a dog barks waooooooon,waoooooooon. This was really annoying to his neibours.
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Author: Willie
Date: 2000-07-12 04:26
Folks asking me how I got that big dent in my right thumb, or our two Bassett hounds siting next to me and singing harmony when I practice.
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Author: Allen Cole
Date: 2000-07-12 04:33
When carrying my tenor sax in its flightcase, many folks ask what it is. I always answer, "a CHAINSAW!"
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Author: Dick Vigorous
Date: 2000-07-12 11:32
A. Person wrote:
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Reading D... V....... posts
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Aww, I'm crushed. How can ya dis yer greatest fan? Ya know, really, clarinet players oughta think about this, 'cause yer always complainin' there ain't enough work fer ya. Well, ya got this great audience just waitin'! When I was readin' Lelia's mind this a.m., I noticed she was readin' this Washington Post article, on page 3,
http://www.washingtonpost.com
where it tells how good us rats is doin'. Hey, we outnumbers the peoples nine to one in New York City! Nice photo of some handsome big rats dinin' out in a real fat garbage bag. That's 70 million rats that just love the clarinet. How come ya even bother with a human audience?! They even put up signs all over New York to warn us where the rat poison is laid down. Now that's a terrible thing. They gone and murdered 43,000 of us in the last year. I say we need a protest campaign about them murders an' here's my theme song: "New York, New York, what a horrible town! The crime rate's up an' the mayor is a clown!" Make New York safe for rodents, kick out them raticidal geeks with the poison, bring on them clarinets, and let's party!
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Author: DLE
Date: 2000-07-13 14:16
Reeds are definetely the worst thing. I don't agree wuth that comment about microphones - if in an orchestra pit with particularly bad acoustics, microphones are essential!
A new one: Conductors that always look down on clarinet players!
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Author: Chloe
Date: 2000-07-13 18:15
Falling out with clarinet player friends because you're both auditioning for the one place in an orchestra. I'm in the middle one of three youth orchestras and for the last year have shared the first part (The lower two orchestras have more wind players than usual to give more people a chance) with another girl who is slightly better than me. We became really good friends and shared a room on residential, met up before auditions, went shopping together and spent hours on the phone. Last month the fliers about auditions for the main orchestra came round and I decided to audition for the experience and because having been in my orchestrea for 1.5 years it seemed like the positive step to take- after all I had nothing to lose. My friend decided to audition because I was auditioning and then started bitching about how big headed I was being to audition to other friends. To me this wasn't a problem- if I got in great, if she got in and I didn't I'd be solo clarinet and she's a friend and a year older so I wasn't bothered and if neither of us got in we'd still be together which we liked. She didn't see it that way and as the auditions got closer she stopped calling me and answering my text messages and slagged me off to her friends who I know from another band. In the end neither of us got in so it should have been OK- neither of us had been shown up but she's barely talking to me now and that really upset me. Suppose it shows that even friends can't handle the prospect of competing with each other.
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Author: Dee
Date: 2000-07-13 22:20
Chloe wrote:
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Falling out with clarinet player friends because you're both auditioning for the one place in an orchestra ... Suppose it shows that even friends can't handle the prospect of competing with each other.
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They can if they want to. For many years, I and my best friend competed in the same division in martial arts tournaments. Even on tournament days, we were friends discussing the rest of the competition etc and helping each other figure out the best tactics. When matched against each other, we approached it from the highest ethical/professional standard. We would both do our best to win as that is what we were there for. After the matches, we were still friends, helping each other analyze the various matches for future reference.
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Author: Kim
Date: 2000-07-13 22:22
Competition is too important when it shouldn't be. If we all think that first chair is so important, then we will be devastated when we don't get it. There are only five clarinetists in my college band. I am perhaps the best clarinet player at the moment. I am not letting it get to my head though, because I feel improvement is everything, everything else is secondary. Which would you rather be proud of yourself for--first chair, or knowing that you can play the music that much better? 
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Author: Bob the Composer
Date: 2000-07-14 13:49
If that's so bad, how did they get along in the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries, when there were no microphones???
Bob the Composer
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Author: Sara
Date: 2000-07-15 04:05
Having water in 'da holes during a performance of the Mozart concerto!
Sara
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Author: Lelia
Date: 2000-07-15 20:06
The phone rings while you're assembling the clarinet for practice. You set your very expensive hard rubber mouthpiece down and go answer the phone. A moment later, you hear clatter, clatter, clatter . . . . What's the cat merrily batting down the stairs?
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Author: HTW
Date: 2000-07-16 05:07
"...Suppose it shows that even friends can't handle the prospect of competing with each other."
That's too bad, but it usually isn't that way, if both people are mature about competition. Sounds like your friend was not. Our whole clarinet section of five people(like yours, it has a few extra to give people a chance) is quite friendly. We compete often in solo competitions against each other, and if one person wins more than the others, they don't show off, and the others are careful not to let it affect their relationship. I enjoy very much having friends that I can talk to about my clarinet stuff without confusing or annoying them, but a friendship like that can be edgy unless both sides take care to only compete when they are playing.
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Author: selenium_star
Date: 2002-03-23 06:18
hm...
The water in the tone hole problem is annoying, but not that bad. I suppose it depends on the situation. (for example, if it was in the opening high B-flat of the Weber concertino or some other equally exposed section during a performance.)
I think trying to find a place to practice the E-flat soprano without having a lynch mob come after you the most difficult obstacle to overcome.
the next woe is the cat hairs all over your swab cloths.
The problem that most bothers me at the moment is playing a note where the composer dictates that "ppp" is required in the altissimo register and hearing other clarinetists in your band playing at "mezzo-forte to forte" AND badly out of tune. It makes you want to strangle some people. Oh wait, that's not exactly a clarinet problem...
Selen
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The Clarinet Pages
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