Author: ohsuzan
Date: 2006-12-21 03:42
<<I see this as my own fault along with the nature of my music program. [snip] I was never really pushed to get lessons because my director never knew I didnt get them [snip] This is my fault for not recognizing that I am clearly underqualified, along with just putting this off for so long. [snip] I began to doubt myself, thus putting this off more. So yeah, this is mostly, if not, completely my fault.>>
OK, nice that you are willing to take some responsibility. But here's another reality check: you're what -- 17, going on 18 years old? You've been for some time harboring a desire to go into music professionally, but not sure what direction (no crime there).
So you look into a couple of things, and it doesn't look as rosy as it did in your dreams, so you look for something else, and by this point you're pretty confused, and still not really tracking on what it might take to get you where you want to go (still no crime).
But this is why I am asking about the role of your teachers and guidance counsellors. I just don't think you need to expect yourself, as a 17 or 18 year old, to figure this out all by yourself. You need to get more -- perhaps much more -- guidance than you have currently gotten.
You've been the 1st or 2nd chair clarinetist for two years? Why DIDN'T your school music teacher ever get to know you well enough to know if you were taking lessons, or to encourage you to take lessons? Just never crossed his mind? What sort of teacher is that?
You say it's your fault for not recognizing that you were underqualified? Huh? You're a kid, for heaven's sakes! How were YOU supposed to know what qualifications you needed? This is what teachers are for -- to tell you what you've gotta do. Yours, apparently, didn't.
But you know, people DO make it in the music world -- recording, composing, music business, and yes, teaching, among other thing. And most of them are NOT prodigies, or geniuses, nor did most of them start their careers doing all the right things. Many of us come to music as a profession after having had other careers. You DON'T have to be perfect to be a music professional.
What you do have to do it want it enough to pursue it, make it a priority, learn, learn, learn, learn, learn and work, work, work, work, work. Is it often hard? Insecure? Sure. If you want a secure job, go work for the Civil Service.
Bottom line: a great deal of what has gone into your being "underqualified" (or at least, underinformed) about your career options is NOT your "fault" -- really, truly, it's not. But now it IS your responsibility to take it from here.
Susan
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The Clarinet BBoard
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