 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Bazzer the Jazzer
Date: 2003-02-20 01:56
In the one of the replies to the posting 'Selmer Clarinets -- I'm sold...' someone mentioned about set up, he mentioned all the usual and the bell, this reminded me of a program some years ago on UK TV about the demise of the Umpingo tree, on the progamme they visited a clarinet makers factory, I cant remember which, but they interviewed a guy who was setting up top of the range clarinets, he was trying different bells on the instrument to get the correct sound/tuning etc, my question is...is this of any importance to any players out there? just am academic question.
Barrie
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Author: Wes
Date: 2003-02-20 05:57
Yes, he was rotating the bells to find the best rotational position before putting the trademark on. There's no magic, bells and barrels play better when given the best physical alignment. I do this on all my clarinets, marking the best position with black nail polish. I need all the iotas of improvement I can get. Good luck!
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Author: Bazzer the Jazzer
Date: 2003-02-20 10:44
Wez, thanks for that, I will experiment on my clarinets, though it will difficult om my metal Selmer :-)
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Author: Jim Mougey
Date: 2003-02-20 12:18
Bazzer: That program was from Boosey-Hawkes. Not only the bell, but the barrel was rotated. I remember this program because a block of wood split while it was being turned on a lathe.
Jim (M)
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Author: Synonymous Botch
Date: 2003-02-20 12:19
Metal clarinets are more sensitive to the presence of quantum singularities and swamp gas. Rotating the bell on a metal horn may very well cause incipient psychoses to manifest.
But wait - you're already playing the pain stick!
Want a real shocker?
Take the bell off and play the horn... howzat sound?
(The notes pop out of the highest open tone hole, donchaknow)
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Author: Don Poulsen
Date: 2003-02-20 13:01
I tried rotating the bell on my bass clarinet, but then I couldn't play the lowest note on the instrument, which isn't too much of a loss since I rarely use it. I then tried rotating the neck. Fingering became a little more difficult.
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Author: David Spiegelthal
Date: 2003-02-20 13:49
Instead, I leave the barrel and bell where they are, and just rotate the body of the instrument. It's all relative, you know....
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Author: Bazzer The Jazzer
Date: 2003-02-20 16:48
Good God, I love this web site, it generates a lot of good information and help(usually!) and a lot of fun.
Barrie
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Author: CPW
Date: 2003-02-21 02:10
Synchronous Bash (or however he spells it) opined that quatum singularities effect metal clarinets. Well have younz (he used that Picksburgese expression before) looked down a wooden clarinet?
It IS a Black Hole!!! And dampits look like worms......so we have quantum worm holes. See.......playing clarinet is just like unclear physics.
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Author: Synonymous Botch
Date: 2003-02-21 12:40
Properly played, and aligned to a perfect second (of pitch) will cause plasma jets from the audience.
That and Schroedinger's cat will leave the room.
*****
There once was a player named Marette,
who found her toneholes misaligned, and she would fret
Then a worldly friend, calming and suave
Applied a curartive salve
And today, they make beautiful music (you bet)
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Author: CPW
Date: 2003-02-21 14:57
When confounded reed stiffness
puts me in a huff
I wip out my knife
When others use rush
Barbasol
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Author: CPW
Date: 2003-02-21 15:00
oh I forgot...How can you tell if Schroedinger's cat has
left the audience?....
Same reason Tabuteau left a Reginal Kell recital
The plasma jets had vibrato
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Author: contragirl
Date: 2003-02-21 16:47
So I assume that the jets flying out of my bass clarinet are due to the fact that it is a supermassive blackhole?
Personally, I go into my studio class with my soprano clarinet and the pianist is sitting there about to play... and I have the bell of my horn to my face. Then I proceed to play it like a trumpet that has a mouthpiece that is too big... doesn't sound too good, and I get some weird looks. Playing a rotated horn upside down doesn't seem to work either.
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Author: Todd W.
Date: 2003-02-21 20:47
Vic --
"And - Heisenberg may have been here." You seem uncertain about that.
Todd W.
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Author: Vic
Date: 2003-02-21 21:38
Todd -
As Mark implied, we can either measure Heisenberg's presence, or his velocity. We can't do both. I'm thinking he probably actually wasn't here, but when he wasn't, he was moving pretty doggone fast.
But that's just my theory.
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Author: Todd W.
Date: 2003-02-21 22:39
Vic --
So, you mean the observer can only see Heisenberg when the observer's not there?
Maybe this explains Vandoren reeds: There are 10 good ones in every box until the box is opened. (And somewhere, sometime, someone will open a box of Vandorens and out will jump Schroedinger's cat.)
Todd W.
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Author: CPW
Date: 2003-02-21 22:40
As you play faster, the clarinet get heavier....It's all relative.
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Author: Mark Charette
Date: 2003-02-22 02:24
CPW wrote:
>
> As you play faster, the clarinet get heavier....
And shorter ... and the pitch changes ... but it's only apparent to the listener ...
The player merrily continues on ...
and plays to Schroedinger's cat ...
who's alive and dead at the same time ...
until the wave collapses ...
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Author: Don Berger
Date: 2003-02-22 18:47
Vunderbahr!! Applying an ultrathin layer of Es [einsteinium] to bad reads should help us to achieve 99 [at wt %] of Heis' invisible light to all of our problems. Don
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Author: CPW
Date: 2003-02-22 20:01
A revised theory says that the speed of light was faster at the time of the big bang. VLS.......variable light speed.....can lead to a GUT......grand unified theory.......but will it let me play clarinet any faster.....and does it mean that the cat can indeed be dead and alive at the same time (my dog is capable of that trick even now)
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Author: Mark Charette
Date: 2003-02-22 20:42
CPW wrote:
>
> A revised theory says that the speed of light was faster
> at the time of the big bang.
Hmmm ... last I read the expansion was faster than the speed of light, but since the areas could not communicate there was no violation of the constancy on the speed of light ... the law is a bit subtle - there can be no communication faster than the speed of light <i>in vacuo</i> but that doesn't preclude things happening that exceed the speed of light.
But we digress ...
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Author: Don Berger
Date: 2003-02-23 20:03
Just hate to see a "tongue-in-cheeker" disappear into the archives without a "new BBoard" revival. Don
Thanx, Mark, Don
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