 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Tony F
Date: 2017-04-07 08:29
Not exactly a breach of etiquette, but a few years back my wife and I were attending a performance of a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta. The lights went down, the coughing and shuffling gradually stopped and the first few notes of the overture sounded. This was followed by a tremendous crash from the pit and an agonized cry of "Ahhh S**t!" As we were in the front row I looked over the rail to find that one of the percussionists had tangled his feet in a power cord and fallen headlong across the timps. These were on a raised stand, and they and the percussionist had fallen onto the troms. One player had been flattened and his trom was severely bent, and the others were picking themselves up from among the horns. The performance went ahead, half an hour late and with a somewhat reduced orchestra.
On another occasion my then classical guitar teacher was giving a solo performance. For one piece he needed to retune his instrument, so to speed things up he took a second pretuned guitar on stage. When he was swapping instruments a chair leg gave way and he managed to put his foot through one of the guitars. It was a lovely Contreras. He had it repaired, but it was never the same.
Tony F.
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Author: ClarinetRobt
Date: 2017-04-07 20:49
In college while playing in the pit orchestra for a Gilbert & Sullivan production, we perhaps, were having too much fun...while maintaining an excellent level of performance, of course.
During the intermission the 1st Oboist brought his blender and made margaritas. There's nothing quite like the sound of 'crushing ice' buzzing through a 2000 seat auditorium. It was loud. It was noticeable. It was obvious a blender.
People attending the performance point blank asked me if I noticed a blender during intermission. They seemed puzzled and slightly amused that "someone" was making livations to enhance their evening. Suffice to say, it was unprofessional. I had a enough maturity to not drink because I had some big solos in the second act. Everyone else started getting hammered.
(Shaking fist) Damn crazy kids!
~Robt L Schwebel
Mthpc: Behn Vintage
Lig: Ishimori, Behn Delrin
Reed: Legere French Cut 3.75/4, Behn Brio 4
Horns: Uebel Superior (Bb,A), Ridenour Lyrique, Buffet R13 (Eb)
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Author: kdk ★2017
Date: 2017-04-07 21:06
One annoyance, especially in a pit or on a stage that is small with tightly spaced seating, is the late-arriving (2 minutes before the downbeat) player who has to climb through or over everyone else to get to his seat. Players who are buried in the middle of tight seating arrangements should always try to arrive on the early side while they can still "get there from here" without causing disruption. This is especially true of reed doublers who have to come in with two or three instruments and an instrument stand.
Karl
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Author: Bennett ★2017
Date: 2017-04-08 03:12
How to Play Chamber Music
1. Everyone should try to play the same piece.
2. If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of the other players.
3. A repeat sign means everyone should stop and discuss in detail whether to repeat that section or not.
4. If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be immensely interested.
5. If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune."
6. If everyone is lost except you, follow those who are lost.
7. If everyone else has finished playing, do not play any notes you have left over.
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Author: JonTheReeds
Date: 2017-04-08 11:14
Don't pay attention to the conductor - it only encourages them
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The older I get, the better I was
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Author: fskelley
Date: 2017-04-08 20:07
Memories from Bellaire (TX) High School band circa 1969.
Football game halftime with cross town arch rival Westbury. Their band is on the field, we are on the sideline waiting to perform. Somebody turns on the sprinklers. It is a cold evening. Their band is getting drenched, so is our front row. Everybody in BOTH stands is dying laughing. Our director says nobody is to move a muscle. Takes an eternity to get the water shut off (actually probably 2-3 minutes). Then we did our show. Pretty sure a bunch of folks went home early that night.
Commencement for 1000+ graduating class at the since demolished Houston Coliseum, our concert band was set up down front in the usual folding chairs. Midway through the long evening a mouse showed up. Always suspected he was a deliberate plant, but in that venue maybe not. Lots of us thought it was funny, the ladies pretty much didn't. I think we kept it all under control.
Director John Montgomery was a class act, and did not get 1/10 the respect he deserved. I read only recently he had very high credentials in TX among band directors at the time, and was only at Bellaire the 2 years I was, plus maybe 1 year before and 1 year after. I'm grateful for his influence.
Stan in Orlando
EWI 4000S with modifications
Post Edited (2017-04-08 20:19)
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Author: clarinetguy ★2017
Date: 2017-04-08 20:54
I posted this story a while back, but I'm happy to share it again. Many years ago in high school band, our director stopped us for some reason and wanted us to start again at letter P. Without thinking, he announced, "One, two, ready P!"
He quickly realized what he had done, and we all had a good laugh.
In the gentrymusic link, one of the rules is to never badmouth anyone. This next story doesn't involve a rehearsal, but it is a good reminder for music professionals to always watch what they say. During my days as a school band teacher, I once worked with a difficult principal. I managed to stay on her good side, but it wasn't easy. Several years later in another school, I was on friendly terms with a building employee, and we'd often take a few minutes here and there to talk about different things. I was once starting to say something negative about my former principal (without mentioning her by name) when my acquaintance broke in . . . yes, that principal was my acquaintance's mother! They had a very common last name, and I never connected the two. Fortunately, I hadn't said much, and hadn't yet said anything negative. I quickly said something positive, and my acquaintance was none the wiser.
Post Edited (2017-04-08 20:57)
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Author: derf5585
Date: 2017-04-08 23:56
Conductor said "The clarinets have the runs" TMI
fsbsde@yahoo.com
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Author: TomS
Date: 2017-04-10 09:11
Back in my senior year in High School, before electricity I think, we took two bands (Concert and Symphonic) to the Hot Springs Convention Center in Hot Springs, Arkansas for the state contest. Back in those days, our Symphonic Band conductor was charismatic and nationally known, had a lot of "pull" and so we always took the entire day, arriving hours before the concerts, with plenty of time to see the sights and get in trouble. I think the main reason we had an entire day was that our conductors wanted time to visit and hear some of the other bands.
Well, concert time came and our principal horn came in drunk! Not sure how he managed to find alcohol, but he was a resourceful guy ... and stupid. Of course, he could not play and so we were down to just 3 horn players and our conductor quickly made some adjustments to mitigate the problem ...
OK, we took the stage, played a concert F tuning note, and an old mangy dog made his appearance, running scared all over the place ... after an eternity, he was finally caught and removed from the auditorium.
Now we are ready. Our conductor raised his baton and involuntarily flung it into the flute section ...
Fortunately, we played and scored well that day ...
Tom
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Author: Philip Caron
Date: 2017-04-10 22:48
My sister was in the cast once for Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. During rehearsals, one of the male leads, a mature gay man, had made known his undying admiration for one of the younger men in the cast. The younger man was straight, but took the adoration with good humor.
After a performance, my sister told me that during one of the more hectic scenes, when people are running from room to room onstage, something happened that would qualify as an etiquette breach. The male lead ducked through a scenery door to briefly hide, and found inside the younger actor, out of sight of the audience, mooning him. Then the lead had to dash right back out in front. He almost - but not quite - lost character completely. My sister says he spoke enthusiastically about that incident for a long time after.
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Author: clarii2
Date: 2017-04-12 11:23
i love these stories-more! story one: while playing clarinet in a city community band in hamilton new zealand we tried different conductors. so this elderly brass band guy give "it a go". he got so enthusiastic that his false teeth flew out and bounced on the floor. he grabbed them, stuck them in his mouth and kept conducting.
story two-not so funny: mitch miller age 84 at the time was conducting us in the spokane symphony. a beautiful,gorgeous young 26 year woman was subbing for 1st clarinet. during breaks mitch was chasing her so much she told him to "**** off". a week later management got a letter from Mitch complaining how badly she played!
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