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Re: Jealousy

Author: Philip Caron
Date: 2016-08-22 00:23

Our small town boasted two good teachers. The high school band had a tradition of a senior sitting 1st chair clarinet. For years it was a well-deserved position, though competition was quite keen and deep. Each year began with seating auditions that every member took part in, and students were welcome to challenge in open audition for a higher chair at any time. The latter practice was quite rare.

When I was a junior, I won the initial seating audition, and the top senior came in second. There was resentment on his part, and it continued through the whole year. He challenged me twice in open audition, and the third time the conductor made it a closed, blind audition. The senior tried and practiced hard, but I got picked each time. However, I hated the auditions and never related to "winning" at clarinet.

The situation was uncomfortable for me and somewhat embarrassing, and it didn't help that we had different teachers, so a rivalry from another level came into play. "Tradition" was mentioned, and so was "musicianship". Those were the politer arguments.

It got worse when I placed higher than the senior at that year's All-State and also did better in a solo competition that was part of those festivities. The senior and I had been friends for years and shared many common interests, but the clarinet rivalry was frustrating enough to sour the friendship and lessen the enjoyment of playing music that year.

Looking those decades back, I still don't see much I could have done. My advice is, work, play your best, be polite and respectful, and keep the door open for positive things. Other than that, you can't control what others think or choose.

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