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 Jealousy
Author: J-MB 
Date:   2016-08-21 07:19

Alright, I am one of 13 clarinets in our high school clarinet section, and I say about 4 us play well enough to play the 1st part efficiently. I started lessons earlier on when i started and I took them all they way through now. I upgraded my clarinet to an R13 and the whole nine yards. But heres the problem the other 3 who are seniors, dont take lessons, or have a wooden clarinet. So i was talking to a flutist (a sister of one of the clarinets) And said i was stealing their spotlight and taking their chances away. Is this true? She said they worked their butts off and now im taking their spotlight. Should i feel bad?

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 Re: Jealousy
Author: DavidBlumberg 
Date:   2016-08-21 07:22

Don't feel one bit badly - is life!!!!

http://www.SkypeClarinetLessons.com


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 Re: Jealousy
Author: J-MB 
Date:   2016-08-21 07:23

What if they get mad David?

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 Re: Jealousy
Author: ClarinettyBetty 
Date:   2016-08-21 07:59

If they are your friends and truly matter, they will love you no matter where you are in the section. If they are jealous, kill them with kindness. Work hard, no matter what.

If I could go back and talk to HS myself, I'd tell her that I only keep up with TWO people from high school. That's it! So do NOT worry about stuff like jealousy. You will never talk to those people again after high school.

Best of luck.

-----------------------
Eb: 1972 Buffet BC20
Bb: Selmer Paris Presence
A: Selmer Paris Presence
Bass: 1977 LeBlanc

https://gentrywoodwinds.com




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 Re: Jealousy
Author: Clarineteer 
Date:   2016-08-21 10:33

It is better that they envy you than pity you.

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 Re: Jealousy
Author: Ursa 
Date:   2016-08-21 21:55

Let them get mad. They just happened to grow up in the same school system as you. Do you honestly believe that you owe their feelings any special consideration based on this random coincidence?

If your goal is to become a professional musician, it should be starkly obvious that (a) they cannot help you towards this goal, and (b) you won't be networking with them in the future when it's time to earn a living.

Do your best. Don't go out of your way to show up an upperclassman, but it things just happen to turn out that way as you go about being the best musician you can be, it's on them for not working harder and/or not having as much talent as you. C'est la vie...

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 Re: Jealousy
Author: Matt74 
Date:   2016-08-21 22:13

You should feel confident, proud, and thankful for your accomplishments.

You are not taking anyone's chances away. That's a fact.

They can practice just like you do. If they have the option of taking lessons and choose not to, they choose to miss out. (They may not have the option of taking lessons.) My impression is that they probably did not work their butts off. If they don't take lessons, and still have beginners horns as seniors, they probably aren't very serious about music.

That said, don't worry about who has what kind of clarinet, only how they play. Do they do their best, practice, pay attention, contribute to the group?

Jealousy, on both sides of it, is something you have to deal with as a musician. Hopefully, it's not too bad, but it happens. You can help it by being friendly and by appreciating those who are better than you, and by appreciating equally those who are not as good as you.

Another thing you have to deal with is that sometimes people are in certain positions but may not deserve it. Sometimes someone who has been there a long time (like seniors) may get 1st because of seniority, not ability. On the other hand when someone who is new (like underclassmen) do get 1st because they are better, the older members may resent it. There's not much you can do except play your part the best way you know how, and be friendly. If someone doesn't want to be friendly to you, you can't force them. That's not your fault.

- Matthew Simington


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 Re: Jealousy
Author: kdk 2017
Date:   2016-08-21 23:03

It was really catty of the flutist-sister to say that to you.

But I'm a little unclear about your situation. You don't say that you're first chair in the section over the seniors. Is that the case? Or is sister-flutist just complaining that you're dominating the section from wherever you're sitting?

Is she a twin? If not, she's younger than her brother and if you're first chair and she isn't, she may herself feel jealous that you are.

In any case it doesn't reflect well on her to have made the comment. You should do your best to ignore it and just go about your business in the clarinet section, whatever that entails.

Karl

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 Re: Jealousy
Author: Philip Caron 
Date:   2016-08-22 00:23

Our small town boasted two good teachers. The high school band had a tradition of a senior sitting 1st chair clarinet. For years it was a well-deserved position, though competition was quite keen and deep. Each year began with seating auditions that every member took part in, and students were welcome to challenge in open audition for a higher chair at any time. The latter practice was quite rare.

When I was a junior, I won the initial seating audition, and the top senior came in second. There was resentment on his part, and it continued through the whole year. He challenged me twice in open audition, and the third time the conductor made it a closed, blind audition. The senior tried and practiced hard, but I got picked each time. However, I hated the auditions and never related to "winning" at clarinet.

The situation was uncomfortable for me and somewhat embarrassing, and it didn't help that we had different teachers, so a rivalry from another level came into play. "Tradition" was mentioned, and so was "musicianship". Those were the politer arguments.

It got worse when I placed higher than the senior at that year's All-State and also did better in a solo competition that was part of those festivities. The senior and I had been friends for years and shared many common interests, but the clarinet rivalry was frustrating enough to sour the friendship and lessen the enjoyment of playing music that year.

Looking those decades back, I still don't see much I could have done. My advice is, work, play your best, be polite and respectful, and keep the door open for positive things. Other than that, you can't control what others think or choose.

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 Re: Jealousy
Author: J-MB 
Date:   2016-08-22 03:38

Karl, I'm not first chair, last year seniors were all ahead of us so we were not able to be, The sister basically sees it as Im better than them because I take lessons, It really got to me when she told me, that I don't deserve first chair and they do, I work too, but I guess since im an underclassmen I don't get the same treatment :(

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 Re: Jealousy
Author: Exiawolf 
Date:   2016-08-22 03:55

Play to the best of your ability, work as hard as you can, and place where you place. But in the end all that matters is if you can have fun, and be a positive musician while playing music. Sometimes you'll end up in front of people that think they should be where you are, sometimes its the other way around. Do your best to be positive about it, and you'll either find a good friendship with your "competitors" or they'll unreasonably hate you. I had to deal with the latter, and while it sucks, I still recommend being as positive and friendly to those people as well, no matter their ill feelings towards you

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 Re: Jealousy
Author: Ed 
Date:   2016-08-22 05:09

As others have said- work hard, play your best and be a friendly, pleasant person. Don't worry about the nonsense. Be true to yourself and be the best player you can be.

Think about it- what are your choices- to stop trying? To play worse to make them feel better? If anything, your skill will hopefully push them to play better. If they can't deal with it, it says a lot about their character and immaturity.

Ideally, you get recognized through your accomplishments, not just because of years on this planet.

Good luck and keep working hard.

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 Re: Jealousy
Author: dorjepismo 2017
Date:   2016-08-22 19:27

Music can be competitive and quite rough and tumble, and there are a lot of good clarinet players out there. If things work out for you, feel grateful and be as nice to the others as you can under the circumstances, and if they don't, don't hold it against other people for wanting the same things you do and trying to get them as they can. The spotlight does not belong to anybody; it goes where it goes on account of cause and effect, and some of the causes are not always very savory. But all we have to decide is what to do with the time we are given, and practicing is usually a good choice.



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