 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: derf5585
Date: 2015-03-11 02:30
The DUMB clarinet section, while not being the loudest or most important section, is without a doubt the most dedicated section in the band. Consistently having high section attendance, clarinet players seem to always be there. At every nonmandatory event, the clarinet section can be relied on to have a good showing, sometimes even making up a quarter of the band present. What they lack for in sound, they make up for in numbers. Usually being one of the larger sections in the band, they have continuously grown over the past few years. You could even say, that the clarinets are slowly taking over the band. They have recently infiltrated band authority, claiming one of the drum majors as their own. Soon their numbers will expand enough that they will take control of the band, and all brass players will bow before them. They lie in wait until their numbers are strong enough, waiting for the perfect moment to attack, like velociraptors zeroing in on their prey. New, power barrels provided to them aid in their quest for DUMB domination. These barrels mysteriously enhance their sound, and the clarinets can now occasionally be heard over the brass section. Do not let the innocent exterior fool you, this clarinet section will one day rule the world.
from
http://sites.duke.edu/dumband/clarinets-2/
fsbsde@yahoo.com
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Author: Lelia Loban ★2017
Date: 2015-03-11 19:10
>Do not let the innocent exterior fool you, this clarinet section will one day rule the world.>
Uh-oh -- I'm sure the late lamented Shadow Cat grimly follows these discussions as a professor in the Feline Afterlife Academy. Now she'll be back at it with telepathic warnings to Ms. Jane Feline, who (as a pre-born kitten-to-be) ignored all of Shadow's dire predictions that clarinets (not clarinetists) were evil minions of the Vacuum Cleaner Devil, bent on letting the Garbage Truck Demon into the house
Excuse me. Shadow Cat here, borrowing Lelia's feeble human brain for a moment. Of course I follow these discussions. Having earned several extra cycles of nine lives over the centuries, I still watch over what remain of the households of my many human servants. You benighted followers! Great Bast, clarinet *players* have no chance whatsoever of taking over the world. The screech-sticks rule the players, not the other way round; and yes, the screech-sticks do intend to rule the world, though they'll find to their sorrow that they're no match for the G--b--ge Tr---ks. As for that jumped-up snooty little Jane Feline, I don't know who she thinks she is, but any cat who willingly listens to a screech-stick is beyond redemption. I'm going to see to it that when she dies, she comes back as a cockroach.
Yours truly,
Shadow Cat
Lelia
http://www.scoreexchange.com/profiles/Lelia_Loban
To hear the audio, click on the "Scorch Plug-In" box above the score.
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The Clarinet Pages
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