 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: fskelley
Date: 2014-07-29 03:02
And now for something completely different.
A FB post about my high school commencement made me remember sitting with our band in the Houston Coliseum, and a mouse working his way through our group, to the terror of at least some of the girls and hilarious entertainment of the boys. A lot of frantic whispering and pointing- "Where is he NOW?" and such. I remember our director Mr. Montgomery kind of laughing but pretty effectively keeping things under control--- it WAS a formal setting. I don't recall whether we were actually trying to play anything at that moment.
Also during my HS years I saw a rival high school band's halftime show interrupted by the sprinkler system- courtesy of a jokester from our school- I hope not from our band.
So my question to all of you is- what's the worst thing you've ever managed to not let interrupt your playing? War stories, please. (From what I've been told, the best stories are from military band members- if they're allowed to share them.)
Stan in Orlando
EWI 4000S with modifications
Post Edited (2014-07-29 05:18)
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Author: Roxann
Date: 2014-07-29 04:34
We were playing a concert for the nursing home side of our local Veteran's Hospital. The ceiling was rather low and our conductor managed to imbed his baton in the accoustic tiles in the ceiling. No, we couldn't keep playing...no way. Everybody, including the audience members, laughed hysterically. I'll never forget it.
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Author: FDF
Date: 2014-07-29 05:15
It was like trying to stifle a giggle in church. Our high school clarinet quartet was composed of guys from the wrong side of the tracks. However, we happened to be the best clarinet players in school. We were asked to play for a very important and proper Ladies group from our small Midwestern community. My proud mother was in the audience. Our set up was two by two facing the other two. A good way to communicate. Our first number went very well and the ladies were impressed. However, shortly after our second piece began a small mistake was made, probably a squeak. We peaked over our stands looking at our friends on the other side and suddenly we were trying to repress our giggles. One by one as we courageously tried to keep our composure with the music going, we laughed our way out of the quartet. Finally, with one of us still attempting to toot his part, we all gave into the inevitable and laughed uncontrollably. As did our audience of distinguished ladies of the community. I looked at my mother and she too was smiling and I felt oh so much better. After the fiasco, we collected ourselves and played our final opus. We were able to preserve a semblance of our ability as clarinetist, thankful that the ladies were understanding and that our performance was over. A moment to remember.
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Author: clarinetwife
Date: 2014-07-29 05:46
This wasn't a matter of "keep playing" since it was the last note of the piece, but my college wind ensemble was playing Colonel Bogey. We got the pistol shots Bang Bang Bang at the beginning of the final trio, then Bang Bang Bang later on. But when it came time for the stinger there was a soft but very conspicuous *click. The drummer was such a character, and I'm sure a picture of his face would have been worth ten thousand words, because on the recording there is a huge gale of laughter from the audience along with the applause.
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Author: Philip Caron
Date: 2014-07-29 17:37
I was sitting first chair in an outdoor band concert in a little town in New Hampshire. We were set up on the village green in front of a beautiful white meeting house. It was a gorgeous day. The audience watched from the big lawn in front, some seated in chairs, some on blankets spread out, some standing. Children were moving around, dogs, etc.
During one piece, the clarinet part had a longish rest section, and I was sitting and counting with my clarinet across my lap. A good-sized dog that had been trotting happily around took a pass along in front of the band. As he passed by me, he turned his head, and his lolling tongue gave my reed a big sloppy lap. That happened just as the rest was coming to an end.
I picked up my clarinet and gaped at it briefly, in horror, and then it was time to play, so I did. It turned out I was the only one in my section who made that entrance, because they'd all seen what that dog did, and they were suffused with hilarity. Laughter from the audience was clearly heard as well. The conductor, unaware of the licking, peered over at our section with knitted brows, but we soldierd on.
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Author: OpusII
Date: 2014-07-29 18:33
At one of our concerts the chair broke from a horn player, he suddenly disappeared from the stage. The audience laughed hysterically, but we didn't knew what happened behind us.
In a concert the clarinet player next to me suddenly plunged to the ground ... he had lost a screw from his clarinet, which he was hastily searching. The rest of the clarinet row had to try to play without laughing through a very difficult technical passage.
During a paid performance without rehearsal, I once had the pleasure to experience what happens when the orchestra stops simultaneously in the middle of the musical work ... without telling me this: the substitute .. it was a dark room with lit stage....
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Author: johng ★2017
Date: 2014-07-29 19:33
Just before an orchestra concert, the principal clarinetist said he wasn't feeling well, but he would be ok. About the middle of the 1st movement of a Mendelssohn symphony he leaped out of his chair and dashed off stage to do whatever he needed to do. There were some clarinet solos coming along and the 1st bassoonist leaned over and said, "well I guess you are going to have to play 1st for a while." I turned toward the part and played until the return of the principal player. All was well through the 2nd movement. The third movement arrived and again the need to leave became overwhelming for the poor guy, so off he ran. I went back to the 1st part until his pretty obvious return. We somehow finished the concert. It wasn't funny, but the 1st part kept going and the conductor was looking a little overly tired. Always pay attention to the 1st part, 2nd players....you just never know!
John Gibson, Founder of JB Linear Music, www.music4woodwinds.com
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Author: rtmyth
Date: 2014-07-29 19:50
Mario Petrelli leading the WestPoint band on parade , using a large baton. He got too exuberant and the baton went sailing. (He told me the story)
richard smith
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Author: fskelley
Date: 2014-07-29 20:39
All good stories, thanks all for the contributions and I hope to see more.
But I have to say that John Gibson's story about the principal clarinetist becoming ill and John as 2nd having to play 1st on the spot is perhaps the most compelling. I wonder what fraction of high end 2nds on clarinet, violin, or quarterback are really ready if the occasion demands it. I'd wager you didn't get a lot of congratulations, all just supposed to be in a day's work. Is "ready to cover 1st" part of the 2nd's job description anyway, or just a good idea?
Back on the FB thread about my commencement in 1970, somebody confessed to being part of a well planned "mouse release". So all this time I thought the mouse was a natural part of that big old venue I was mistaken. I bet there were and still are mice in the Houston Coliseum (if it's still standing).
Another HS band story not quite the same flavor... at a 1968 outdoor campaign event for Richard Nixon, we played "Hail to the Chief", which I thought then and still think was poor taste- as he was only a candidate at that point. If anybody got upset I never heard about it. But I've also never been aware of that song used for any other candidates who weren't already President.
Stan in Orlando
EWI 4000S with modifications
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Author: Philip Caron
Date: 2014-07-29 20:53
Some of these stories are very entertaining! Gotta watch those errant batons, those sharp ends are dangerous.
Our community band used to play some concerts every summer at a lakeside harbor, atop the flat roof of a small building that contained changing rooms and public bathrooms. Not a lot of space on top, but we fit everyone in, even sometimes tympani, though the tympanist would be sort of precariously cramped against the back railing. One time on an entrance, one of his tympani mallets got away from him and bounced, sailing end over end over the band, just missing the startled conductor, and proceeding down into the parking lot where the audience was. We kept playing. As we did, a kid from the audience climbed the stairs in back of the building and returned the mallet to the chagrined percussionist.
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Author: Filettofish
Date: 2014-07-29 21:46
A few years ago my high school marching band was playing at the dedication of a community 9/11 memorial. It was a warm September day, and the band was of course outfitted in full wool uniform, through the sweltering heat. As the speakers arrived, we were instructed to play the national anthem while standing in a long row. Our director gives the signal, and we begin. All is normal for a few seconds, until we hit the point "the bombs bursting in air." Out of the corner of my eye I see a body fall to the ground in uniform, and as I turn I realize my friend Bill had just fainted. We finished the piece while EMTs ran over and sat him up in a nearby chair with a bottle of water and had him drink as soon as he woke up (apparently he was dehydrated). To this day we still know him as "the guy who passed out on 9/11."
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Author: William
Date: 2014-07-29 22:53
I have a few "funny" stories--exploded aerial shells landing between me and the second chair player (1812 finale), tubs section falling off the back riser, one by one--all eight of them (college tour concert), standing up to play Duo Concertante..........and it wasn't our turn (laughter from all)--but I will refrain from boring y'all.
But here is my all-time best, at least, for me holding it in and finishing whatever we were playing. Our community band was playing an weekly concert in the park at our zoo and all was going really well.....until the dog made his entrance to the podium of the conductor and lifted his leg doing his "duty" all over our leaders left leg--right in front of me. I think, inside, I had a hernia keeping my amusement "in" without missing a note. But I think my effort of self control was wasted as most of the audience broke out in uncontrolled hilarity as the dogs owner (also laughing hysterically) came up to retrieve his pet. Much of the rest of the band, about 75, had little idea why everyone was in such a state of glee until later when "word" spread. Somehow, we all finished the concert, signed the Green Sheet and most probably giggled all the way home. It may have been more memorable had we been playing Water Music, but sadly, that was not the case. OK, that's my story......hope you've enjoyed. BTW, it was a BIG DOG with plenty to give.
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Author: Wicked Good ★2017
Date: 2014-07-30 03:23
There has to be something about town bands in New England.
I used to play principal with a town band in northern Massachusetts. A few years ago, on a particularly hot and humid evening, the (quite elderly) conductor fell victim to heat exhaustion mid-piece. He lost his balance on the podium, and tumbled head-first into the clarinet section (and broke my old reliable Knox Unistand).
We did not play through. There was just too much commotion, including paramedics at the scene. One of the trumpet players finished the concert conducting, including an immediate re-do of the piece in which the conductor fell ill.
The poor guy eventually was okay, and was able to resume his conducting duties the following week.
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Author: clarinetguy ★2017
Date: 2014-07-30 07:31
I'm not sure I can top any of these stories, but here goes.
When I was in junior high school many years ago, our band went to band festival. There was a required piece that all bands had to play, a transcription of March and Procession of Bacchus. It's a tough selection for a junior high band, and our band never played it well. At festival, one section (I can't remember which one) started to rush. Before long, the entire band began going faster and faster. Our director tried to get us to slow down, but wasn't successful. I don't know how we managed to make it to the end without completely falling apart, but somehow we did.
In my college band, we once played an outdoor spring concert. There wasn't a band shell or stage, and we had chairs and stands set up on the grass. It was a nice evening, but just before we started the last selection, it started to rain. We all had expensive instruments, but we pressed on. While we were playing, a few flute players got up and left, and it's possible a few clarinet and oboe players did the same. We managed to finish, and fortunately, it wasn't a hard rain. The director (who sometimes had a bad temper) was livid. I'm not sure what went on behind closed doors, but from what I heard, he began to chew out the musicians who had left. Few people had the courage to stand up to him, but these students did. In no uncertain terms, they told him they had expensive instruments, and they weren't going to have their instruments damaged by rain.
It was one of the few times I saw him back down.
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Author: maxopf
Date: 2014-07-30 10:26
In middle school, we were in the middle of rehearsing a piece when one of the alto saxophonists sneezed into his horn and made the most obnoxious, loud sqwonk I've ever heard. Everyone completely lost it.
This past year we were playing the Montagues and Capulets by Prokofiev in the youth orchestra I play in. A few seconds after the violists had finished rehearsing the glissandos in the slow middle section of the piece, all of us clarinetists mimicked it at once, playing the gliss sort of Rhapsody-in-blue-style. The whole orchestra cracked up. When everyone finally stopped laughing, we began to play again, only for the conductor to start dancing to the music. We managed to get through the section, but all of the woodwinds were cracking notes and squeaking trying not to laugh.
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