Author: Lelia Loban ★2017
Date: 2011-06-14 13:17
I've rarely had a problem at the gate, except for one odd incident when I bought a metal clarinet at the Long Beach flea market in Los Angeles. On the way home to Virginia, the case fit easily into the small backpack I use as a carry-on, but because the clarinet was all-metal, I took it out of there, opened the case and laid it flat in the tray that goes through the X-Ray machine so the screener would have an easy, unobstructed view. Fat lot of good that did. The screener asked another screener to scrutinize.
I explained the thing was a clarinet. "It looks more like a flute," said the screener in an angry, suspicious tone of voice. (I resisted the temptation to tell him that if he wanted it to be a flute, then by all means let's call it a flute if that helps....)
Then he asked me to prove it was a musical instrument by playing it. I explained to him that it was roughly 75 years old, that I bought it at a flea market, that it needed a major overhaul to make it playable and that I'd thrown away the filthy old reeds I found in the case. I pointed out where some of the pads had fallen out. He wasn't budging.
I really did not want to hold up the long line while I argued with him or asked to see a supervisor, so I picked up the one piece clarinet, clamped the keys shut to the extent possible and blew hard (flute-style) across the open part of the upper stack where the metal barrel should insert. Out came an altissimo shriek that would wake the dead. I kept on blowing while I waggled some fingers on the keys and got a mixture of whistling air, silences and more high-pitched screams -- although a couple of those screams came from people behind me in line!
"Okay, okay, okay, stop it," said the angry attendant. As he waved me on through, he added, grumpily, "I *knew* it was a flute."
Lelia
http://www.scoreexchange.com/profiles/Lelia_Loban
To hear the audio, click on the "Scorch Plug-In" box above the score.
Post Edited (2011-06-14 13:18)
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The Clarinet BBoard
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