 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: DaveF
Date: 2006-12-02 04:16
Some of you may have missed this article in the "motoring" section of your paper, about VW's promotion using the "world's sexiest instrument.......the electric guitar"
Article
Check the sentence in the 6th paragraph. Yeah, I know we're no comparison to electric guitarists, but I suppose only those in our community can look at the clarinet as sexy. Recall the recent postings of artistic photos of personal instruments.........I thought that was sexy.
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Author: massa
Date: 2006-12-02 04:29
It's not that the clarinet is not sexy, but there are sexier instruments out there.
Bass clarinets, for example.
- m
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Author: LeeB
Date: 2006-12-02 06:27
All the movie stars that married Artie Shaw must have though that he and his clarinet were reasonably sexy.
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Author: C2thew
Date: 2006-12-02 06:42
It's all about talent and charm my friends. With the combiniation of both those factors, you can make ANYTHING sexy. except maybe rat poo. =) Did you see the disappearing clarinet? Note how even the mouthpiece cover became "sexy" as it was played like an instrument. just saying...
Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things. they are but improved means to an unimproved end, an end which was already but too easy to arrive as railroads lead to Boston to New York
-Walden; Henry Thoreau
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Author: skygardener
Date: 2006-12-02 07:18
I always thought sax was more commonly associated with sexyness.
I also think there are much more unsexy instruments than clarinet- like Tuba.
I think a clarinet would be included on a more upperclass auto; maybe a Royals Royce.
Cell phones in the car are one thing, but what kinds of accidents might we have now?
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Author: tictactux ★2017
Date: 2006-12-02 09:04
As long as no one is using the clarinet as a plunger again...
--
Ben
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Author: LeeB
Date: 2006-12-02 13:50
<<<I think a clarinet would be included on a more upperclass auto; maybe a Royals Royce.>>>
The water holding vessel on the dash of the VW bug that some people use as a bud vase is actually designed and intended to be a place to soak your reeds. Few people know this.
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Author: Merlin
Date: 2006-12-02 14:07
Don't forget this quote from Fellini's "Orchestra Rehearsal":
THE FIRST VIOLIN. "It is the brain, the heart of the orchestra." a man claims. "And the clarinet is the penis!" another musician cries. "No, the violin is the most virile instrument of the orchestra because it is penetrating, phallic! It is not feminine but lovesick, vibrant and always actual ; it is still the favorite instrument at conservatoire. It is the diva of the orchestra, the star! "
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Author: stevensfo
Date: 2006-12-02 20:01
-- "No, the violin is the most virile instrument ......It is the diva of the orchestra, the star! " --
Have to agree. Always there, can't escape it, highly strung, anxious to be noticed, at times sounds like a tortured cat, begging for attention but not really that talented, and after a while we've all had quite enough!
Steve
PS I reckon we all stopped reading after 'the electric guitar is a sexy instrument'.
If only Benny Hill were still alive! ;-)
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Author: Clarinetgirl06
Date: 2006-12-02 21:52
"It's all about talent and charm my friends. With the combiniation of both those factors, you can make ANYTHING sexy."
If any of you have seen FRIENDS, you can recall Joey in an episode trying to make anything sexy. One was, "There's always room for jello."
And guitar, sexy? No way! It reminds me of a grungy guy or some old man in the mountains. I think deeming any instrument as sexy sounding is actually kind of odd.
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Author: madvax
Date: 2006-12-02 22:51
Attachment: b12_top.jpg (56k)
Attachment: b12_bottom.jpg (45k)
Attachment: b12_full.jpg (30k)
Clarinet not sexy? What nonsense!
I hope the moderator doesn't mind, but I'm attaching some fine clarinet porn that is intended for "mature clarinetists only".
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Author: tictactux ★2017
Date: 2006-12-02 23:03
Cool stuff, madvax.
My teacher's dreaming of one of those (not the gold, but the perspex body). Where can they be had? The far-easterners only do opaque models...
--
Ben
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Author: Brenda Siewert
Date: 2006-12-02 23:14
Attachment: volkswagen convertible-1.jpg (65k)
Attachment: adjustable bridge key mechanism Opus II.JPG (39k)
Lee, I actually own a VW bug convertible and THANK YOU for telling me what that little plastic tube next to the steering wheel is all about! I was using it as a pencil holder. Dumb me!
Here's my VW taken right before I bought it. And, get a load of the svelte curves of the keys on my clarinet. Who says clarinets aren't sexy? But, I feel cheated. The dealer should have given me a new instrument.
Post Edited (2006-12-04 15:38)
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Author: 2E
Date: 2006-12-02 23:30
Well i dunno bout you guys but - Clarinet can't just be sexy by itself.
For me, it's all about what it's doing and who's doing it etc.
[ Snipped - GBK ]
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Author: allencole
Date: 2006-12-03 00:21
The clarinet doesn't have much association with celebrities, and the primary clarinet celeb in most folks' minds is Woody Allen. Watch him and Sun-Yi in "Wild Man Blues" and you'll see just how much catching up we have to do.
Allen Cole
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Author: Cuisleannach
Date: 2006-12-03 01:42
To me, the electric guitar is about as sexy as a large bucket of ice water. The clarinet is all that the electric guitar lacks. The clarinet is slinky, sultry, and subtle. The electric guitar has all the subtlety of a grand piano dropped from a ten story building (and not nearly the resonance). And common, let's face it.....the local axe hack may be getting all the girls, but it's the clarinettists who are getting all the right girls!
-Randy
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Author: ned
Date: 2006-12-04 04:35
''a more upperclass auto; maybe a Royals Royce''
Yes....the Royals have a Rolls....and a number of other fine automobiles as well.
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Author: clarnibass
Date: 2006-12-04 07:15
I don't know, I personally think clarinet is one of the more sexy insturments, maybe third after cello and flute, but only for females who play classical music. Any male playing these instruments or any music that is not classical automatically makes them not sexy at all imho. By the way, I'm a male and don't play classical music 
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Author: Bartmann
Date: 2006-12-04 14:04
This thread is so silly that it's amusing.
And Brenda, the picture of the adjustable bridge system of the Opus II verges on lasciviousness.
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Author: bassbuddy
Date: 2006-12-04 20:51
<<It's not that the clarinet is not sexy, but there are sexier instruments out there.
Bass clarinets, for example.>>
Amen to that! Would that be the instrument or the person? I believe it would be the two togther. Hm?
At music camp (or band camp- which is sexy in and of itself), I played a solo on my bass clarinet. My friend Rose, a Bb clarinetist, listened to the following conversation.
A: What instrument is that?
B: I don't know. It looks like a weird saxophone or a really big clarinet.
A: It's a sax clarinet!
Which, upon hitting Rose's ears, sounded exactly like "sex clarinet"
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