 The Clarinet BBoard
|
Author: hans
Date: 2006-03-12 22:42
A, C, and E-flat and a G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry,
we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an
open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and
the G is out flat.
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp
enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom
saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced
that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and
exclaims, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this
bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next
night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.
The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development."
This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and
everything else, and stands there au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under
a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the
diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without
Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is
found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all
accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so
patrons, and the sopranout in the bathroom, everything has become altoo
much treble; he needs a rest, and closes the bar.
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: hans
Date: 2006-03-13 13:52
I neglected to credit the author; unfortunately it was forwarded to me and I don't know its source.
Hans
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: Don Berger
Date: 2006-03-13 16:47
That's GREAT, Hans, how many days/nites can this strange behavior continue?? Don
Thanx, Mark, Don
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: clarnibass
Date: 2006-03-15 03:58
"he's only had tenor so patrons, and the sopranout in the bathroom"
Didn't get this part about sopranout and tenor. Language problem..... can someone explain please?
Thanks.
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: GMac
Date: 2006-03-15 04:03
the "he's only had tenor so patrons" would be "he has only had ten or so patrons" (i.e. about 10 customers) and "the sopranout in the bathroom" I think means that "the soap ran out in the bathroom"
And of course, the tenor and soprano (in this case sopranout) are references to voice types.
Btw, that is AWESOME!! I've seen a variation of that, but it wasn't as long or in-depth.
Graham
Post Edited (2006-03-15 04:05)
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
The Clarinet Pages
|
 |
.jpg){kind=small}
.jpg){kind=small}
.jpg){kind=small}
.jpg){kind=small}
.jpg){kind=small}
.jpg){kind=small}
