Author: nzdonald
Date: 2002-07-29 20:50
i could write about this for hours- i have been involved in a related situation as the "big brother/best friend".... i really have very strong opinions on this, it is in some ways a very complicated situation- but in one way it is NOT complicated. WILLIAM has mentioned the way in which it is NOT complicated....
the teacher is a ROLE MODEL, and some teachers have "NOT YET MATURED". The thing is, these teachers who get into these situations (often multiple times over the years) usually feel good being in a "relationship" where they are the ROLE MODEL, instead of being in a relationship where they are with an EQUAL PARTNER. um, i think it's called "insecurity" and it's not actually a disease, but sometimes the mess it causes feels like it!!!!!
a problem is that younger people don't want to feel patronised, and teachers want to be liked- so maintaining a situation where you have an established RESPONSIBILITY over someone can become more difficult as the student gets older. Maybe there is a point at which a relationship could develop, at what age? 16, 18, 20? is it suddenly ok when the student leaves school- because now it is legal?
it sounds like the situation described in this thread is not so sinister, and while it's obviously painful for those involved, it seems to have been dealt with well and with the minimum of deceit (that being the thing most hard to forgive and overcome).
chin up, you'll be ok
donald
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