 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Cindy
Date: 2002-04-12 00:42
A bassonist in our band has been very uptight about who plays what instrument lately. Her main thing about clarinets was that we "are completely pointless, and everyone would be better off with a bunch of violins" AAAAHHH!!!!! That is so awful!
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Author: diz
Date: 2002-04-12 00:55
Hm, I think the "bunch of violins" in the Cleveland Orchestra are quite nice players, really
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Author: Cindy
Date: 2002-04-12 01:06
I have nothing against violins, I'm sorry if it came out that way.
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Author: Pam
Date: 2002-04-12 02:13
Yes, orchestras have clarinets but usually just one on first, one on second and the third often doubles bass if I am not mistaken.
diz- I love hearing the Cleveland Orchestra myself! One of the concerts at Blossom this summer is featuring Franklin Cohen on the Clarinet Concerto and their lead flute player I believe playing the Flute Concerto.
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Author: IHL
Date: 2002-04-12 02:17
pointless eh? To quote from <i>The Meaning and Magic of Music</i>(1968) by Peter Gammond, p47 (2nd sentence is the one I'm making a point out of):
"In his woodwind section Haydn has 2 flutes; 2 oboes; 2 bassoons. A surprising absentee is the clarinet which is now the leading member and the most fluent of the woodwind family."
so there.
and also:
bassoon: classical.
clarinet: classical, jazz, pop, folk songs, swing and makes a nice table ornament.
Not that I'm trying to belittle bassoonists; I'm just trying to prove that we arent pointless.
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Author: diz
Date: 2002-04-12 02:21
further - the bassoon has been readily known as the clown of the orchestra ... need I say any more. Besides - "fagott" in german means "bundle of sticks".
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Author: JMcAulay
Date: 2002-04-12 04:18
I have never seen a lamp of any sort made from a bassoon. Obviously the instrument is a victim of rather limited purpose.
Regards,
John
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Author: diz
Date: 2002-04-12 04:34
LOL - a bassoon lamp! Now that WOULD be an ugly sight! Although, if one was to put fiber optic thingys up it's bore and have them do the pretty rainbow colour trick, in a darkened room ... absurd idea, diz.
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Author: Mark Pinner
Date: 2002-04-12 11:15
Try this definition from the "Devils Dictionary" by Ambrose Bierce:-
The "clarionet" (sic) is an instrument operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There is only one thing worse then a "clarionet", TWO "clarionets".
On the other hand the bassoon has often been referred to as a "Farting Bedpost".
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Author: Stephane
Date: 2002-04-12 12:47
Cindy,
What Mark meant by "you'd be an orchestra, instead of a band" is that there are no violins in a band, there are indeed replaced by instruments like the clarinets and flutes. And for everyone's info, in French, "band" translates into "Harmony orchestra"!
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Author: Jerry McD
Date: 2002-04-12 13:03
I think you could make a very reasonable bass clarinet stand out of a bassoon! Now if we could only play staccato like them......
Jerry McD.
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Author: blake
Date: 2002-04-12 15:31
How do you get two bassoons in tune? Get rid of one of them......(ok so this was originally a viola joke..) Why would anyone want to play an instrument with 11 keys on one thumb.. i mean really....no wonder they have a complex..... Low instruments in band are just jealous that we have interesting parts and all they do is "toe - toe - toe" Ive always said.. if you dont like playing "up-chuck" parts in band.. why the heck did you pick tuba or french horn?
Blake
Arlington, VA
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Author: james
Date: 2002-04-12 16:26
What's the best recording of the mozart bassoon concerto? Music Minus One
Did you hear about the bassoonist who was so bad that the other members of the section could tell?
Why did the chicken cross the road? The get away from the bassoon recital.
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Author: Fred
Date: 2002-04-12 17:19
The bassoonist was probably just cranky - dealing with TWO REEDS will do that to a person. But don't get her mad at you . . . she's probably carrying a sharp knife!
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Author: Ralph Katz
Date: 2002-04-12 17:40
These are the emotional attributes that the wind players of the University Theater Orchestra (University of Michigan) came up with some decades ago, after plenty of beer:
flutists: goody-goodies
clarinetists: egmaniacs
bassoonists: nutty
oboists: sensitive, (but Watch Out, ladies/men)
french horn: intellectuals
trombonists: outgoing
trumpeters: maturity issues
tuba: organizers
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Author: Clairgirl
Date: 2002-04-12 19:41
yeah, but you ommitted percussionists!!
Percussion: lacking intelligence but amusing to watch
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Author: Janey
Date: 2002-04-12 20:39
I play both clarinet and bassoon....and It's very easy to pick a favorite!!
Bassoon: thumb has to do WAY to much work
and I don't appreciate being called the band's dying goose...
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Author: Terry Horlick
Date: 2002-04-12 22:14
At orchestra rehearsal last night the conductor switched the 1st and second chair Bassoonists (buffoonists) now the better one is on the first part. At the mid-rehearsal break the (now) second packed up and went home leaving the music on the stand. So the orchestra was improved at the beginning of the rehearsal and then improved again at the second half of rehearsal. Since the 1st clarinet chair is next to the 1st buffoonist chair I got to speak with the new 1st. She is really nice and even plays in tune most times.
I had a bit of an epiphany during that discussion. I am convinced that clarinet is not really an orchestral instrument. Instead it is the instrument with the most beautiful sound, which uses an orchestra (or perhaps a band on occasion) as accompaniment. Where we get into problems is when the accompaniment gets it into it's head to try and overpower <b><i><font color="red">the instrument</font></i></b>!
Don't let whatever the other players in the orchestra or band say bother you... what makes them perfect and correct? We all have enough to be humble about without letting those around us try and tromp us down!
Terry
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Author: Al
Date: 2002-04-12 22:34
I've had a bassoon lamp for twenty years. It's a floor lamp of course, and is really quite handsome........and quite a conversation piece. I almost like it better than my bass clarinet lamp (w/o the bell and the neck) and built above a circular table pedestal.
Al
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Author: David Pegel
Date: 2002-04-12 22:36
Not orchestral!? THat startles me. I have found almost nothing more beautiful than a solo violin with the melody and a clarinet playing countermelody alongside. They certainly wouldn't give the counter to the basoons (or bassoon? Add that one to the top with "embouchure".)
As for your question about French Horns and tubas with up-chuck rhythms, blake, I chose each of those in turn because when they AREN'T playing those stupid on/off-beats, they sound wonderful and make the orchestra more complete. (French Horn is a pain to care for and play decently, though. But I like a challenge.)
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Author: Aa
Date: 2002-04-13 23:45
Mozart had a fetish with nearly the same intensity he had for rear ends (just ask Stanzi, the wife of the fecciphile), for clarinets. He loved them incredibly, and they come out quite well in his music. In one occasion, my conductor had referred to us a story about bassoon camp (he was a bassoon enthusiast), in which it kind of made him laugh to see 'fagot' imprinted on the license plate.
Does anybody else love the Brahms clarinet quintet? It's wild! You could never crank out that kind of insanity with a bassoon! Also, I enjoyed Mozart's horn quintet performed by Koch, Leister, and Seifert. Even so, despite the good stuff offered by other instruments, it won't be herald trumpets played in heaven (that was just a metaphor), but clarinets! Duh!
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Author: Melanie
Date: 2002-04-14 08:52
As a clarinetist turned bass clarinetist, I have become an “honorary member” of the bassoon section. When we have sectionals, who else am I going to go with? Anyways, I really love the sound of a really well played bassoon. It doesn’t happen often but when it does, it can bring me to tears. I also have found that it is a lot of fun to play. I must admit though, there have been many times when I have been playing my “upchuck” parts and have longed for the quick runs and this thing called a melody. Well anyways time to practice the upchucks.As a clarinetist turned bass clarinetist, I have become an “honorary member” of the bassoon section. When we have sectionals, who else am I going to go with? Anyways, I really love the sound of a really well played bassoon. It doesn’t happen often but when it does, it can bring me to tears. I also have found that it is a lot of fun to play. I must admit though, there have been many times when I have been playing my “upchuck” parts and have longed for the quick runs and this thing called a melody. Well anyways time to practice the upchucks.
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Author: IHL
Date: 2002-04-15 03:48
==================================================================
Author: GBK (---.dyn.optonline.net)
Date: 04-14-02 02:23
IHL... http://www.geocities.com/bassoonquartetphenix/pagina4.html
Check selection #12 ...GBK
==================================================================
come on, I was being sarcastic. It is interesting though. I have a bassoon-playing friend, btw so I shouldn't really participate in the bassoon bashing.
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Author: GBK
Date: 2002-04-15 04:03
IHL...I knew you were - just having fun.
Actually I try to stay on my best behavior with all bassoonists.
I learned long ago that the bassoonist that you make fun of today, may be sitting beside you in an orchestra tomorrow...GBK
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Author: Julie
Date: 2002-04-21 16:17
How many clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but (s)he'll go t hrough a whole box trying to find the perfect bulb!
the "Esteemed Bassoon Section" (there's 1) in our band is called, quite often, a dying duckor something to that effect
sorry if this gets posted twice, stupid internet doesnt work right
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