 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: David Pegel
Date: 2002-02-17 01:08
I remember reading somewhere that theoretically you can make a playable clarinet just about out of any material. If that theory holds any ground whatsoever, what would be the most unlikely substance to make a clarinet ouf of?
I wonder if anyone's made a clarinet out of duct tape...
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Author: Sally Gardens
Date: 2002-02-17 01:20
I thought of trying to mend that mangled Ebay bass clarinet, a.k.a. bass croquet mallet, with duct tape. If it worked, I'd proudly dub the instrument "Ducky." If it didn't, the instrument would grace my living room wall.
Unfortunately the bidding got higher than I would be willing to spend on an experiment, so the world, alas, will never know.
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Author: Sally Gardens
Date: 2002-02-17 01:43
How about molding one out of used AOL disks? Every time I turn around I'm getting another one of the *@#! things in the mail. They've got to be good for something.
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Author: IHL
Date: 2002-02-17 03:59
My tutor told me this one: get a large carrot, hollow it out, stick your mp in one end and it will sound just like a (out of tune) clarinet. I haven't tried it though.
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Author: jim lande
Date: 2002-02-17 04:33
You can find information on Sneezy regarding the plywood clarinet made by CONN just after WW2. I have one and they are very attractive. Buffet offered clear plastic ones, and glass ones were offered in the 1930s. I did repair a broken bell with strapping tape. Perhaps duck tape could substitute for a ligature.
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Author: Jim E.
Date: 2002-02-17 05:05
Depleated Uranium... Well they make tank shells out of it.
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Author: ron b
Date: 2002-02-17 06:10
I heard that deep inside China they're experimenting with a new line made of rattan and frog skin glue. Very lightweight with mellow forest-like overtones.
In response, Conn, running scared, has been working furiously on a new "Blackline"... coarse-ground black walnut shells and Portland cement. Full bodied, heavy dark sound.
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Author: donald nicholls
Date: 2002-02-17 10:00
Jack Brymer mentions (in one of his books) a Contra bassoon made from chicken wire with "masking tape" (similar to duct tape) wrapped around it. I've also seen people playing Chalemaux type instruments made by sticking clarinet and saxophone mouthpieces on Carrots, marrows/courgettes, potatoes, parsnips etc They seem to play better in tune that the Artley clarinet mentioned in a reccent posting.
nzdonald
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Author: jez
Date: 2002-02-17 18:14
You could try to make a playable clarinet out of a Buffet........
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Author: David Pegel
Date: 2002-02-17 18:20
The weirdest idea I've come up with so far is to carve one out of ice. Downside, it'd have to be open-holed. You could only play them in freezers, though. How would that work with acoustics??
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Author: JMcAulay
Date: 2002-02-18 03:55
For quite a while, I've wanted to try a length of garden hose. Basically, I'm just too lazy to get it done.
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Author: donald nicholls
Date: 2002-02-18 08:46
actually, i forgot to mention this before, but i also play a self made instrument called the "clariflex"- a piece of hose with a clarinet mouthpiece on the end. i've actually used it in compositions on two occaisions (both times as a "double", once for the bassonist)
if you don't have a drill you can make holes in the pipe by bending it in half, and cutting out a V shape with scissors- thus making a diamond shaped hole when you straighten the hose out.
i can say without doubt that i'm the worlds best clariflex player!
nzdonald
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Author: IHL
Date: 2002-02-18 10:41
I tried that too, with my garden hose. I got a great, deep sound out of a short length (the connection from tap to the hose reel) but when I tried all 10 metres, I just couldnt puch any air through it. need a bigger bore and reed...
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Author: A David Peacham
Date: 2002-02-18 12:36
JMcAuley and IHL: before you start trumpeting your prowess on the garden hose, you should check:
http://www.roth-music.com/hosaphone/hosaphone-faq.html.
If they catch you making watered-down versions of their invention, they'll clean up. You may think you're safe on Sneezy, but you never know who might grass on you.
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Author: Don Poulsen
Date: 2002-02-18 13:12
A piece of PVC pipe would be an easy thing to make a clarinet from.
Beyond the practicality of constructing anything out of duct tape, much less a clarinet, if one did succeed, he would have to remember that the only acceptable key lubricant would be WD-40. (If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.)
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Author: ron b
Date: 2002-02-18 17:18
THIS NEWSFLASH JUST IN UNDER THE WIRE...
From the far eastern-westernmost island of Hazdonnit it has been recently announced --- A NEW BREAKTHROUGH... in Single Reed Woodwind Instrument manufacturing!
A recently re-converted former local tractor tire assembly plant in NorthTownshipHazdonn has been steadily producing, around the clock, technologically superior clarionettes made from environmentally seasoned, recycled refrigerator parts, for the past six weeks. They have been a big hit with local musicians in ages ranging from pre-school through assisted living facilities. Phosphor-bronze reeds make these instruments virtually maintenance free for the life of the instrument. Fat free neoprene pads are guaranteed never to fail.
Patented, dual action register key guaranteed to produce a solid overblown thirteenth every time. It was unanimously decided last week by Local Council to share this amazing leap upward with music-world sophisticates everywhere. Head chair, Mego Phirst, announced from the town square conductor's podium Monday, "Go,GLo-BAL!" Which, loolely interpreted from the east-Hazdonni dialect, means - "Share the wealth!"
The low cost is truly astonishing and any seasoned connoisseur will love the cool sound. Bandmasters the world over have already given these revolutionary instruments, sight unseen, the highest endorsements ever awarded.
Presently these top of the line instruments, available in satin-wood silver finish, are pitched in Ab, B and F-minor. Other modes, and colors, will be available soon pending negotiations with high level exclusive importer execs at O-boy. Look for them soon at your nearest O-boy outlet next to the WorkMensBluJeens display.
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Author: JMcAulay
Date: 2002-02-18 17:54
This is to advise you, A David Peacham, that I am eternally in your debt for having called to our attention the Hosaphone(tm). One might be concerned that the very existence of such a device might elicit humorous attitudes from all quarters, which is why it is so pleasing to find that the Hosaphone(tm) website treats the entire matter with utter seriousness. Inspired by the inventor and publicizers of the Hosaphone(tm), I hereby advise one and all that I am, almost as I type this, in the process of creating the first Hosinet™, a musical instrument of the single-reed family which employs a flexible or semi-flexible hose as the major element of its construction. Played in a manner similar to that of the Clarinet, the Hosinet™ (not to mention similar instruments which may exist under different names) bears the advantage that when constructed primarily of previously-employed garden hose or other similar materials, specimens of the cocobolo type and other rare woods are preserved for enjoyment by future generations. Further, it can be folded and stuffed into a pocket for ease of transport. And a lot of other keen stuff, too.
Work on the Hosautboi and Hossoon, double-reed instruments, is planned for the near future.
And by the way, Donald, does your Clariflex have a register key?
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Author: FT
Date: 2002-02-18 19:33
here's what I do:
I sometimes get my clarinet's body (top joint, bottom joint and bell) and stick in the alto rocorder's mouthpiece. It fits almost perfectly, but the high notes won't me out very easily.
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Author: Michael
Date: 2002-02-18 20:41
In the way of attaching things to a clarinet, if you take the bell off, a piece of 3/4" PVC pipe with a coupling on the end fits nicely onto the bottom joint. You can pump out some killer low notes, even though it only affects the bottom of the instrument.
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Author: charlie c
Date: 2002-02-19 01:12
I don't know about garden hose and such, but Adrian Rollini played an instrument called a "hot fountain pen". (am I showing my age here?) It sounded something like a clarinet mouthpiece taped to a kazoo. If you want a demo, check him out on
http:redhotjazz.com
Charlie C
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Author: Jim Reid
Date: 2002-02-20 17:25
I bought a quantity of decrepit instruments from a Shriner who had entertained children and old folk with music for most of his adult life.He couldn't play a note on any instrument.Now here's the point.He had an old trumpet with a clarinet mouthpiece and a small speaker in the bell covered by a sock.A tape recorder in his pocket with a switch provided the sound effects.Ray Antony and Harry James were his favorites.One old lady told him that her son was a professional trumpet player but he couldn't play anywhere near as good him.(The shriner that is)
On Beale st.(Memphis) last year outside a bar was a guy holding a trumpet with a clarinet mouthpiece miming to a recording of Yakity Sax.
It's too bad these guys weren't keen on Benny Goodman otherwise their creations would qualify as strange clarinets.Do they anyway?.
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Author: Todd W.
Date: 2002-02-20 17:37
ron b --
Isn't it true that for further recycling, the newly-created instruments are shipped to the user inside the old refrigerator? Talk about crush-proof instrument cases! Of course you may need a teamster to help you get to the gig. But then there's plenty of room for accessories.
Todd W.
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Author: Todd W.
Date: 2002-02-20 17:45
"What would be the most unlikely substance to make a clarinet out of?"
The most amazing clarinet ever could be made from the product descriptions/ads put out by the marketing departments of Buffet, Leblanc, Selmer, Yamaha, etc.
Oh, wait. Never mind. I forgot, those don't have any substance.
Todd W.
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