 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Brenda Siewert
Date: 2002-02-11 17:00
The secret is in the fact that it's from the "Moonshine Capital of the World." Therein lies the "logic" behind the description.
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Author: David Spiegelthal
Date: 2002-02-11 17:47
This auction ad is SO ridiculous that I'm thinking it's a put-up job. Very funny it is.
And, on another topic, the doggone fonts HAVE changed here on Sneezy. Glad it's not just my eyes getting worse..........
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Author: Joe O'Kelly
Date: 2002-02-11 18:37
"The price is going up all the time"
I bought my festival for $2500 so I guess by next year I can sell it for a tidy profit.
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Author: madvax
Date: 2002-02-11 18:59
David,
Its a Featured Auction, so if its a put-up job, the guy spent a tidy sum to do it.
I was very saddened to learn about the demise of the wooden clarinet.
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Author: Todd W.
Date: 2002-02-11 19:13
Brenda --
Very good!
I agree with David that it might be a put-on, but if it's legit, I think the truest part of the seller's description is his/her statement, "I hardly know anything about clarinets." On some of these listings I suspect that the seller has taken it to a music store for a valuation and that THEY suspect the person is going to (here's a new verb) eBay it rather than sell it to them. Consequently, the music store person inflates the estimated value. Just a suspicion.
As to the reed being worth $500--I think the seller is actually referring to the mouthpiece. Of course we know no one would be so foolish as to buy a mouthpiece on eBay for $500. Don't we? :+))
Todd W
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Author: Ken
Date: 2002-02-11 19:23
I wonder which Enron executive this guy is?
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Author: Don Poulsen
Date: 2002-02-11 19:48
If the reed is worth $500, the other $199 must be the value of the swab. (Owner probably thinks the swab is for hanging in the bore to convert it to an A clarinet.)
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Author: GBK
Date: 2002-02-11 20:19
If you read the seller's other auction descriptions of his (her) items for sale, he(she) writes in clear, lucid, detailed English. Definitely not in the "hillbilly" style of this one.
This person is no dope. He knows exactly what he's got...GBK
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Author: Won Kim
Date: 2002-02-11 21:19
He also wrote:
"have had several different people tell me because of the shape that not only it is in but also the box itself the value is betwee 12 and 15 hundred and going up all the time"
So the box + reed is more expansive than my new Festival... hmm... very interesting..
- Won Kim
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Author: Anne
Date: 2002-02-12 00:07
I read this and could not believe the way the seller played up the Hillbilly theme. Maybe he should throw in a quart of b-b-q (with sauce, thank you very much) Unfortunately he spread it a bit toooo thick already.
As an active buyer, I'll have nightmares about making a mistake and bidding on something like this.
What a reed!
Anne
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Author: diz
Date: 2002-02-12 00:15
LOL - spluttered my tea thanks to that one!!
"how to they play ... two front teeth"
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Author: Josh
Date: 2002-02-12 00:22
who knew a Selmer Signet was a $1500 horn? Pshoo, I'ma toss mah LeBlancs right outten' the winder and git me one'a dem!
Where do these people *come* from?!?!
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Author: ?!
Date: 2002-02-12 00:34
http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1701991155
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Author: Sally Gardens
Date: 2002-02-12 01:10
>Owner probably thinks the swab is for hanging in the bore to convert it to an A clarinet.
Nah, something that big would make it a passable basset horn -- perfect for those occasions when you're caught with a surprise performance of The Magic Flute.
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Author: JMcAulay
Date: 2002-02-12 01:14
Brian Peterson wonders, "How do they play in "Hillbilly Country" when they're missing their two front teeth?"
Brian, this is where broad clarinetting skills come into play. This particular problem calls for the seldom-demonstrated Triple-Lip embouchure. I have seen it described only once, in an unpublished folio of notes attributed to Kell (not Reginald Kell, but rather Clarence Carmine Kell, author of the little-known treatise: "If You Can Turn Your Family Room Into a Garage, You Can Make Your Own Reeds").
Hope this helps.
I have been saving a few of the truly choice comments by eBay sellers. So far, my two favorites are:
1) It is in good condition, but is non-playable.
2) It is in great shape. There is only one thing wrong with it. I cannot get it
to work.
Be on the lookout; they do get better now and then.
Regards,
John
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Author: GBK
Date: 2002-02-12 01:20
John...I may have to use your "triple lip" description, and tell some orchestral colleagues. Very funny and clever....
I promise to give you credit. Thanks...GBK
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Author: Sally Gardens
Date: 2002-02-12 01:24
Hm, sounds kinda like this one:
http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1512340027
The seller is "told" that "it plays," but if you click on the close-up of the crack, it looks more like some deranged beaver took a chomp out of it than like a "crack." Or maybe my eyes are just going bad and it's not as bad as it looks. Maybe. All I know is that I e-mailed the seller expressing skepticism and asking if they're sure it really plays in that condition, and never got a reply.
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Author: diz
Date: 2002-02-12 03:56
Maybe they just turn their mouthpieces upside-down and use a reverse emboucher - eeeiikkk.
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Author: diz
Date: 2002-02-12 03:57
dagnabit - embouchure is what my brain said but my fingers were recalcitrant
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Author: JMcAulay
Date: 2002-02-12 04:08
diz: I believe you. After all, how could anyone who can spell recalcitrant be unable to spell embouchure?
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Author: Don Poulsen
Date: 2002-02-12 12:53
Regarding the bass clarinet Sally found, that fracture ("crack" is somewhat misleading in this case) in the plastic instrument was probably caused by a student using it as a club or bat. Best place for the instrument? On the wall of a restaurant.
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Author: Jack Kissinger
Date: 2002-02-12 14:19
GBK,
I read some of his other descriptions -- mostly for books on tape (I wonder if that's a clue). I think you are giving him too much credit.
jnk
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Author: bob gardner
Date: 2002-02-12 14:35
I contacted the seller. he has to get the money to pay for the wedding. He and his daughter are going to get hitched. it's a family thing in hillbilly county. YOU ALL COME- and bring those black things you blow in and make noise.
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Author: GBK
Date: 2002-02-12 16:25
Jack...After just reading Bob Gardner's post (very funny, by the way) you may be right.
It sounds like this guy lives in a third world country...GBK
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Author: Ed
Date: 2002-02-12 18:02
Some of you may be right, but I want to offer another possibility...you have probably heard about those situations where the government pays $1000 for a toilet seat or $500 for a hammer? This is an Army surplus horn!
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Author: Mark Charette
Date: 2002-02-12 18:44
OT:
If that toilet seat is on the Space Shuttle or that hammer is used in a fuel tank, perhaps the cost isn't as outrageous as you think ...
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Author: David Spiegelthal
Date: 2002-02-12 19:28
I used to work for a company which made (among other things) what was essentially a stainless-steel, heavy-duty oil filter wrench used to uncouple sections of 3"-diameter sonar array. We charged the Navy something like $600 for each of these, and we couldn't believe it cost so much. Well, one of our fellow engineers (on his own time) did a little study of everything that the Government required us to do to design, build, inspect, test, and document that little wrench (which looked like a nice $25 item to the eye) and, sure enough, with all the labor and documentation and Quality Assurance we had to provide, it was indeed a $600 item!
More recently, I worked on hardware flying on the Space Shuttle (for the Hubble Space Telescope Servicing Missions), and you talk about expensive stuff..................Your tax dollars at work!
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Author: Brenda Siewert
Date: 2002-02-12 19:54
Well, every time we flush we can thank Al Gore for the remarkable "low flush" toilet that takes 3 flushes instead of one to get rid of one square of toilet tissue.
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Author: Sally Gardens
Date: 2002-02-12 23:23
>Best place for the instrument? On the wall of a restaurant.
Actually, that's exactly why I bookmarked it: The high bid when I first saw it was only about $11.00, and I figured if nobody bid on it, it would be worth paying ca. $15.00 plus shipping to have a cool decoration to hang on my living room wall. ;-)
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Author: David Pegel
Date: 2002-02-13 00:24
Who knows, Sally? What if he was right and it DID play? You'd have a really cheap horn that if you didn't like you could STILL furnish your house with.
I'd say the Vito was a good deal
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Author: JMcAulay
Date: 2002-02-13 00:32
Brenda, if you are fascinated in the hazards of design work done by Government fiat rather than by competent engineers, I commend to you the book *Slide Rule*, by Neville Shute Norway. It's the horror story of a project in which he participated. I believe this helped drive him out of engineering and into writing novels (*On The Beach*, and such) for which he dropped his last name.
Regards,
John
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Author: Sally Gardens
Date: 2002-02-13 04:09
Yeah, David, but the current bid is $88.00, which is more than I'd want to risk if it turned out to be just a living room decoration. ;-) I'll just put the money in my savings, instead.
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Author: Sandra F. H.
Date: 2002-02-13 14:03
Diz, I'll bet that his associates DO use a "triple-lip emboucher" (sic). I almost bid on it because I got so excited about the description, but I wasn't sure what kind of reed that it came with or if I could play classical music on it. Also, I was afraid that the case might get damaged in shipping...
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Author: Jack Kissinger
Date: 2002-02-13 20:11
Now Brenda, don't be too hard on Mr. Gore. After all, he did invent the internet and where would this bulletin board be without that! Anyway, he paid for those toilets. It's my understanding that a number of precincts in Florida tried to use them to flush votes for Bush down the drain but they wouldn't go.
Best regards,
jnk
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Author: Sandra F. H.
Date: 2002-02-14 22:47
Are we bidding on clarinets or croquet mallets? My impression was that the "black stick" had been damaged (cracks or fractures?!) in a very aggressive sport. My question to the ebay sellers "are the balls included"? Does this set of black sticks have high quality "bushings"? Either way, how new is the case? I haven't heard back from the sellers yet... Well, I'm going to go play my oboe.
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Author: Sally Gardens
Date: 2002-02-15 04:20
That bass croquet mallet is up to $103.50 in the bidding, with three days yet to go.
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The Clarinet Pages
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