 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Cut throat clarinetist
Date: 2001-12-20 06:02
I decided to add this as a new topic so that it wouldn't get lost among the old threads. This is in response to GBK's question on jealousy and envy.
My therapist says those of you who claim to have never been jealous or envious of another player are probably not being totally honest! Come on, you have never felt the slightest bit of envy? Maybe you have always been the best where you were at so you never had any reason to be jealous or perhaps, you were happy sitting second chair while someone else played the beautiful solo you wanted to play. Of course, if I'm seeing a therapist I'm probably nuts and since he is a therapist he mostly deals with "abnormal" people, so what would he know about normal feelings?
I am not advocating jealousy and envy. By all means, we should try to avoid having those fellings and especially avoid acting on them, but there is nothing wrong with admitting that we sometimes wish that we could play as well as another clarinetist, even though we may admire or appreciate their talent.
Do we really want young clarinetists to believe that occassionally feeling jealousy or envy is "abnormal"? They are not pleasant feelings, but they are quite common and certainly aren't abnormal. Some of you have offered some good suggestions on how to deal with it. Perhaps, there are more of you out there who have suggestions that will help to deal with this.
Now, of course, you all hate me, but I'll just have to take that up with my therapist at the next session.
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Author: Mark Charette
Date: 2001-12-20 06:16
Cut throat clarinetist wrote:
>
> I decided to add this as a new topic so that it wouldn't
> get lost among the old threads.
Please feel free to add your post to the end of the old ones in the next day or so before I snip this post out. Any foloowups posted here will be snipped by me - so please don't anyone followup here.
I really don't want people to keep restarting threads again and again only a page or two away from exactly the same one.
Threads fade into the past for a reason ...
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Author: Mario
Date: 2001-12-20 13:53
What goes on in somebody's head is private and nobody's business. What matters is what one does and/or says.
We all feel all kind of "emotions." This is normal and human. But "emotion" of all kinds MUST be kept for oneself, under strict discipline, controlled and dignified.
By the way, we must not confuse "passion" and "emotion". To be passionate about something, and express this passion through constructive means is noble and worthywhile.
In our school system, we now emphasize "expressing our emotions to others" instead of learning. Feeling is more important than knowing.
Those who go far in life are those profoundly passionate about something, who can keep their mouth shut, hold their feeling for themselves, and think strategically before acting irrespective of the way they feel.
Feeling and emotions are useless. Knowledge and passion are everything.
If you are envious of somebody's playing, the only proper response is to swallow your pride, get to work, and become better. Simple. There is no substitute.
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Author: Mario
Date: 2001-12-20 14:13
Again, a last note on this topic. One must learn to be "admirative" of one's better without feeling jelous in the process. In life, we always encounter "better" people than we are, people we can use as model and beacon. It is OK. We can use those model people as a personal goal of what one wants to make out of one's life.
To have constructuve feelings of admiration degenating into destructive jelousy must be taken out of one's tool kit of feelings, permanently.
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Author: Cut throat clarinetist
Date: 2001-12-20 16:20
Mark - sorry for using the BB improperly. The post has been added to the old one, where it belongs.
Mario - I appreciate your thoughts. They are very good!
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Author: Mark Charette
Date: 2001-12-20 20:03
While I appreciate Mario's thoughts, too, I wish he would have read my posting before putting his up.
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