 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Laurie
Date: 2001-09-15 05:18
Okay.. I'm a Senior in High School - 16 years old.. I need your advice.
I'm worn.. I have no time, and just.. I don't know... It just seems like like there is soo much to do with no time.
I got my acceptance letter on Thursday for All County.. I smiled and acted all excited when my teaher told me... but as soon as he turned his back, I started crying..
That scares me.. to accomplish something positive yet feel so negative about it.
I just kept thinking, another thing.. I allready am in 2 Long Island orchestra's - There will be both a fall and spring musical.. i'm in band and orchestra.. and college auditions are coming up soo incredibly fast. Wait.. i forgot good 'old jazz band. !
How do I manage everything ? I know you say stick to a schedule.. It doesn't work. I allready dropped sports.. gosh, that hurts soo much. Private saxophone lessons are next to go - I allready practice during my study halls.
I played my whole entire marching band audition in the wrong key and the wrong octave.. I'm the kid that has it to a 'T' ~ I've never gotten lower then an A on any audition. That's totally not like me.
I'm considering dropping out of one of my Gemini ensembles.. I love orchestra, but, festival winds is too much.. I have major auditions like every other week.. there are a million clarinets and just.. I don't feel like dealing with auditions for a band that I don't care about. I have enough auditons to worry about between Wind Ensemble and college.. Should I consider doing this ?
I know i'm probably just totally over stressed with everything going on lately. It's been an insane week, and just i'm glad it's over. I know that does have and effect on it.. but I'm just afraid that as things progress it'll just get worse oppose to better..
Does anyone have suggestions ?
Laurie
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Author: Dee
Date: 2001-09-15 05:27
Decide how many hours per week you want to spend on music. Then priortize how important each activity is compared to the others. Then select only the highest priority ones that will fit within your allotted time. No one can do everything.
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Author: Mark Charette
Date: 2001-09-15 05:34
You have to pick and choose what you really want to do or you'll be continually overwhelmed.
My middle son is a senior in HS, goes to the U of Michigan for math & chemistry courses, plays in college & HS jazz bands, and goes to HS classes (and gawd knows what else) along with tutoring students in math and Japanese children in English. Piano lessons went by the wayside this year (though he still plays & practices piano). He's been accepted into an international jazz band for a European tour next year and is now figuring if he will go, and if so, what will he have to drop or whether he can he fit it in. He may have to give something up - but, that's life.
But what the heck - he's a trumpet player anyway! ;^)
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Author: Anji
Date: 2001-09-15 13:07
To avoid breakdowns, divide your day into thirds.
A FULL third needs to be sleep.
The second third should be work (for you; school-work).
The third fraction should be play (is making music still play?).
The last third... UH oh.
You get the drift, like MC programmer said "You have to pick and choose."
I'm not a believer in packing continual activity into every waking moment.
Play will actually improve aspects of your work and personal life.
If youre lucky, you will one day be in a position to play for your living.
Be kind to yourself or no one else will.
anji
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Author: Micaela
Date: 2001-09-15 15:11
I have been feeling very similar. I've dropped a community orchestra and I'm considering stopping piano lessons and jazz band. I am taking two AP classes, starting a club, organizing a school conference and not sleeping. I think it's partly the trauma of this awful week that's getting to me but I feel really out of everything and I'm getting sick. Three teachers at my school have asked me to play for them sometime and I just am thinking that I've barely had time to pick up my clarinet all week and how much my playing level is going to go down. I could barely sit up straight at my lesson yesterday. I dropped my second English class this week and started an art class instead. I'm not artistic really but it was nice to just be laid back for a period and have some fun taking out my aggression on a lump of clay. It's nice to have a bit of a reprieve. It's Saturday. I have to start my APUS homework, I'm at youth orchestra all tomorrow.
It'll get better. Not all weeks are like this one.
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Author: Susie
Date: 2001-09-15 17:55
I think the notion of doing something completely different, like Micaela's art class, is a great idea. Maybe one of your sports wasn't the thing to drop... it doesn't have to be competetive but maybe playing tennis for an hour or two each week or running with a running club or playing soccer once a week would give you a mental and physical break. I'm not sure we do anyone, especially ourselves, any favors by coming to a point where we resent what we do.
Susie
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Author: Dan
Date: 2001-09-15 20:05
Laurie, you've received so much good advice that I'm not sure I can add anything of real importance. As I look back at my childhood, (I'm 54), I was an honor's student, worked 20hrs a week at a bakery, had an afternoon paper route, and did a bunch of chores around the house. BUT I MADE SURE THAT I MADE SUFFICIENT TIME TO JUST HAVE FUN!!!! Your're only going to be a teenager once in your life. I may be off key here a little bit, but I think you need to learn how and when to say "NO". You can't do it all. We're all human and we all have our own individual limits. As it's been said above, set your priorities, and lighten your load so you'll feel like getting up in the morning. Hope this helps. Dan
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Author: Jerry McD.
Date: 2001-09-15 21:42
Laurie...WOW, you've got a lot to do. I think the best piece of advice is in the post right before mine from Dan. You have to learn to say NO. Not once, note twice, sometimes even three or four times to the same request. This is NOT an easy thing to do. Let me tell you about my schedule.....I work from 2 am to 6 am..school (returning university music student after many years off) until 4 or 5 in the afternoon......husband and father in the evening......collapse and go to bed. All the while I have to try and get 2-3 hours of practicing in a day and every once in a while I need to study and do homework. How do I do it? Just like everyone else has said, I had to prioritize my life. I dropped singing in my church choir (Wednesday nights), bible study (Thursday nights), and officiating college football (Saturdays). At the time these were extremely hard decisions because I truly enjoyed every one of these activities. I just couldn't do it all. Looking back on it I am glad I made these decisions because now I can't believe I even considered doing all these things at once. The short moral to this long story is you have some hard decisions to make but you will be infinitely happier in the future after having made them. Good luck, and be good to yourself!
Jerry McD.
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Author: Corey
Date: 2001-09-15 22:25
I'm jealous you're 16 a senior and already in orchestras dang!
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Author: Suzanne
Date: 2001-09-15 22:40
Why did you start music in the first place? Because it was fun? See if you can keep it fun--and let go of things that bring you more stress than enjoyment.
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Author: Fred
Date: 2001-09-16 00:56
The posts above have said it all, and they are right. You are doing too much. I wonder if you realize what a common reaction to this problem is when it is not addressed early. Actually, many people simply walk away. They put down the activity or activities that are controlling their life and they say heck with it. Don't let this happen to you.
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Author: Laurie
Date: 2001-09-16 04:41
How do I decide what the problem is ? How do I decide what to keep and what to drop? I mean - Do I let my grades drop ? Do I drop student council ? Not go to SAT review ? Cut Drivers ed ? Do I drop orchestra ? Band ? Jazz ? Writing ? Fun time ? Eating ? Sleeping.. ? How do I priortize things when everything has equal importance ??
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Author: Ted Donaldson
Date: 2001-09-16 11:39
Laurie, do what you love, don't do what you don't like... I think... If you want to do music, then great do it, but not so much you can't complete homework. If you want to put that lovely clarient away for a little while, thats OK too.
ted.
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Author: Dee
Date: 2001-09-16 12:35
Laurie wrote:
>
> How do I decide what the problem is ? How do I decide
> what to keep and what to drop? I mean - Do I let my grades
> drop ? Do I drop student council ? Not go to SAT review ? Cut
> Drivers ed ? Do I drop orchestra ? Band ? Jazz ? Writing ? Fun
> time ? Eating ? Sleeping.. ? How do I priortize things when
> everything has equal importance ??
They *cannot* have equal importance but only you can pick and choose. Sleeping and eating must have top priority because if you get run down you will have to drop even more activities.
Look at your long term goals. Then select those activities that best support them.
Now, do you plan to go to college? If yes, grades are much more important than student council. Basically if you have *good* grades, colleges don't attach too much importance to extracurricular activities. Besides that even if you cut your activities in half, you will have more than most applicants.
Can't you take driver's ed in the summer?? It might be better to do that even if you have to pay for one of the private driver's training outfits.
It seems to me, that you have too many music activities. It sounds like you have half a dozen music activities. Cut them in half, keeping only the ones you like the best. By participating in so many, you can't give your best to any of them. Let other people have a chance at them.
No one in the world has the time to do everything they want to. You have to pick and choose. That's is a part of life. It's painful but necessary.
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Author: Dan
Date: 2001-09-17 01:50
Laurie, I have a 16yr old step-daughter. She and I have had many "very long" in-depth conversations about career choices, schools, etc. It appears that from your 2nd posting (everything is equally important), you may need more help than you are getting from all the the excellent postings from caring people who are sincerely trying to help you. My suggestion to you at this point is to find someone to help you make these decisions. It appears that all of the previous postings, as informative and wonderful as they are, are not helping too much. You sound confused and may very well need more than postings but "long, in-depth" telephone conversations with someone you sense that you can trust. So, here's what I suggest: 1) can you talk to your school counselor?; 2) How is the relationship with your parents? Can you talk to them "openly" or are they "pushing you" in any way?; 3) Are there any local "professional musicians" that you can talk to?; 4) I personally believe that the people on sneezy are truly caring and informative individuals. I suggest trusting your gut, email one, ask for their phone number, and if things "click" you can talk your heart out and get the help you need.
Laurie, I sense that if you don't get the help you need, you may very well "burn out" and may never pick up the clarient again. It's really OK to ask for help. It is NOT a sign of weakness but actually a sign of intelligence. I know you'll make the right decision because being a senior at 16 tells me that you are most definitely an intelligent person.
Schooling is important but trust me on this one: YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS PARAMOUNT AT THIS POINT!!!
Get the help I sense you need and you'll thank yourself a thousand times. Dan
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Author: Anne H.
Date: 2001-09-23 22:39
Laurie,
You should defiently talk to someone about this. Maybe talking to your band director is a good idea. I am very close to my band director/teacher. I talk to him about music stuff as well as any other problems I may be having.(He's really the only person who I can trust to know that sort of thing) Before I started talking to him, I was one messed up little kid, who had absolutly no one I could trust to talk to. Think about it.
Anne
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