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 should i tell my teacher the truth
Author: janlynn 
Date:   2001-08-28 22:51

ive been taking lessons with this teacher for a semester and a half. tomorrow is my last lesson of the summer. last week was my worst lesson since i began with him because ive been having some emotional and physical problems. i promised him next time would be better but ive continued to have problems. i am extremely tired and getting headaches every day. when i get home from work im exhausted and i just want/need to rest. i made myself practice for 20 min yesterday but it aint gonna cut it. should i go and hope for the best. thank him and let him wonder why ive been doing so bad? i will be taking lessons with him again in the spring. or should i tell him the truth. i dont want him to think im using...or making up an excuse for not doing well. i also feel burned out and i want to tell him that but im afraid he will think thats crazy. after less than 2 semesters. he was disappointed last week when i told him i wouldnt be taking lessons in the fall or be in the cl.choir. what should i tell him?
thanks janlynn

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 RE: should i tell my teacher the truth
Author: Sylvain 
Date:   2001-08-28 23:01

It is always better (well almost) to tell the truth.
Your teacher must understand that clarinet might not be a priority in your life right now. He will most likely be disapointed, but there is no reason for him to be mad.

It si sometimes better to take a break and come back fresh than burn yourself out. Tell him you are going through a tough phase right now, I'm sure he'll be understanding.

-S

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 RE: should i tell my teacher the truth
Author: Dee 
Date:   2001-08-28 23:07

You also need to look at your life as a whole and set priorties and schedules that you can really live with. Perhaps you are trying to do too much altogether.

If you are extremely tired every day and have frequent headaches, SEE A DOCTOR. Find out what is causing them. It could be serious (anemia or even bloodclots) or it could be simple like reducing your schedule, eating better, and getting more sleep. But get checked out.

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 RE: should i tell my teacher the truth
Author: John Gould 
Date:   2001-08-28 23:16

FWIW, your first job is not to be a clarinetist. Your first job is to be well-rested. THEN you can concentrate on being a clarinetist. It's far better to practice an hour relaxed and refreshed than 3 hours tired and uptight. Without knowing the details of your situation, be good to yourself. Also, a wonderful book on making music is Kenny Werner's Effortless Mastery ISBN 1-56224-003-X published by Jamey Aebersold Jazz. (it's appropriate for all styles of music, tho). Good luck.

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 RE: should i tell my teacher the truth
Author: Cass 
Date:   2001-08-28 23:45

You can tell the teacher a little without telling everything if you keep the explanation short and not very detailed. You can say something that's a polite way of warning "don't pry". For instance you might say, "It's a long story and too private to go into, but this hasn't been the best time for me to concentrate on music. I'm sorry if I disappointed you."

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 RE: should i tell my teacher the truth
Author: ~jerry 
Date:   2001-08-28 23:56

" Kenny Werner's Effortless Mastery"

Just received mine last Thursday and it is sort of like the clarinet: I can't put it down.

By all means tell your teacher so that when you do return to study with him(her) all is above board and you start with a clean slate. It sounds like you are under a bit of stress so you should see your DR., learn to relax and do read Werner's book. Werner says that if you give up music, it will not hurt the music industry one bit -- play for yourself. So, relax and enjoy your work (I mean fun) with the clarinet and without pressure -- we all tend to be our own worst (or is that best) critic.

~ jerry

Still in Clarinet Boot Camp
(even though I've lost my DI)

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 RE: should i tell my teacher the truth
Author: David Pegel 
Date:   2001-08-29 02:12

My sister Kathy tried to do a whole lot of extracirricular activities her sophomore year in high school. She never really told anyone, but she had felt a little strange the previous summer.

By the end of her junior year, without having said a word to anyone but just "toughing it out", she ended up with anemia, hypothyroidism, hypoglecemia, and tachnecardia (sp?). She now has to take pills and supplements, probably for the rest of her life.

She thought that she was just feeling a little tired.

Now that I am taking even MORE classes and extracurricular activities than she did, I'm worried that something similar will happen to me. This is why I'm contemplating just quitting ALL activities and chilling it for a while. (I've already developed hypoglecemia.)

Moral of this story: Don't take things like this lightly. If you're feeling burned out, it could be something worse than just being tired.

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 RE: should i tell my teacher the truth
Author: Azzacca 
Date:   2001-08-29 02:34

In case anyone was wondering: hypoglycemia (abnormally low blood sugar levels) and tachycardia (rapid heart rate). Some could have been stress induced...

Janlynn: talk to your parents, your doctor or anyone with whom you feel comfortable discussing your feelings. It might be burn out (we all experience it at some time), it might be depression (a physical condition that can be treated), or it could be something more (as suggested above). If it's burn out or depression, a good psychologist can really help... and don't just say "I don't have time to go to a psychologist"; after 10 years of suffering from depression without help, I finally made time. I now can't believe I was so stupid and waited this long. If nothing else, a family doctor can recommend a good psychologist.

In general, you have to do what you feel is best for you. But you should find out if there is something you can do to feel better.

Good luck and let us know what happens.

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 RE: should i tell my teacher the truth
Author: ~jerry 
Date:   2001-08-30 00:24

"... it might be depression (a physical condition...."

News to me.

~ jerry

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 RE: should i tell my teacher the truth
Author: Dee 
Date:   2001-08-30 00:35

~jerry wrote:
>
> "... it might be depression (a physical condition...."
>
> News to me.
>
> ~ jerry

*Some* types of depression are indeed caused by a chemical imbalance in the body. Can't get any more physical than that.

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 RE: should i tell my teacher the truth
Author: Brenda Siewert 
Date:   2001-08-30 13:22

Truth is always best! You'll feed better just getting it off your chest. But, don't forget the check-up. Fatigue and headaches should not be ignored.

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