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 Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Leanne 
Date:   2001-08-25 03:46

I decided to quit band. The band director and I just weren’t getting along, and things were starting to get ugly. The assistant band director tried his hardest to get me to stay, but the band director practically dropped the class for me. Now I have two major problems.

Problem Number One: I am going to major in music. How is this going to look to a perspective school? I am going to take music theory (I’ve heard it’s a good class, even though the band director teaches it). But where can I play my clarinet and bass clarinet so that I stay in shape? In the near future I am going to run to the music store and see what kind of bands are in the community. Now, if I am eligible, I think this problem will solve itself. Comments? Suggestions?

Problem Number Two: I have 9 angry clarinet players that hate me because I was the section leader for marching band and I dropped without telling them. I wanted to call them and tell them, but my parents told me not to, because they didn’t want the clarinet players to feel guilty and drop with me. They were all my friends. I feel like such a horrible person.

If anyone has any advice for me, I’ll take it. I don’t regret my decision, but if I could do it over, I would call everyone in my section against my parents’ advice. I didn’t realize how close we were until I did this.

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Francesca 
Date:   2001-08-25 04:46

Life, sadly, goes on without us. Your clarinet section will somehow survive without you. If they're true friends, they'll still talk to you. I was in a similar situation and the best advice to give it to be the better man. It's amazing how even adults will get dragged into silly (or sometimes not so silly) arguments that last a really long time. Choose to igore any comments that may be relayed to you, and keep comments to yourself about the state of the band. As to being a music major without being in band, not a problem. Any sort of music experience will suffice as long as you keep your skills up. Sounds like you're taking the right step by finding another ensemble to perform with. Enjoy the rest of your year!

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Josh 
Date:   2001-08-25 09:58

I know all about your situation, kiddo...when I was in high school, my band director and I were constantly at each other's throats, mostly because i come from one of those "Marching Band Is Everything" high schools, and a combination of both extreme asthma AND the fact that during my last two years of high school I served as principal clarinetist in three different symphony orchestras in addition to teaching a rather sizable studio of woodwind and string students (not to mention my general disinterest and dislike of marching bands) meant that I spent my summers doing things that, well, weren't marching band. So, according to the school's retarded rule that to be in concert band or any wind ensembles you had to be in marching band, I had to either play oboe or bassoon or not play at all (he didn't march double reeds, so they were okay to do that with), which meant that I was not allowed to play clarinet in any of the PMEA festivals, and since that is my strongest instrument (or was at the time, at least), I was sure that I'd never get beyond Regionals at best, since I wasn't a privately studying bassoonist at the time. Oy was I bitter...still kind of am, since I'm pretty sure that his stupid rule cost me the experience of playing in All Easterns and Nationals. (Although I DID make it to All State and did very well, crushing several serious bassoonists who were mortified when they found out I was totally self-taught...guess every cloud has a silver lining...:) ) Anywho, I guess my point is DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT to you, and don't worry about anything else...they are your friends, and you should call them! As long as you keep playing and performing and studying and practicing, your stupid high school band experience will have no drastic effect on your future career in music....if you've got talent and drive and determination, it'll work out for you. Good luck!! :-)

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Mark Charette 
Date:   2001-08-25 14:47

Reading your post I'd say that you really still are pretty bitter ... it's time to let it go! "Crushing several serious bassoonists" doesn't paint a very pretty picture of those years ...

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: David Pegel 
Date:   2001-08-25 16:11

This year will be my first to try out for Midstate and Allstate on Contralto Clarinet.(My main instrument is low brass.) Also being self-taught, I'm hoping to actually have a chance (It's not that hard to make it, though, considering that there are four or five slots and only three or four people that try out.)

I was in a similar situation, except no one was going to let me quit. Believe me, I told a few people I was thinking of quitting band and I was almost beat up five seconds afterward. Those angry clarinets, if you had told them beforehand, they may not have let you HAVE that option. (i.e. They would have made things miserable for you and put so much pressure on you that YOU would be the one feeling guilty.)

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Ginny 
Date:   2001-08-25 16:59

At my son's school you can take concert band and wind ensemble w/o marching band. Of course if the problem was with the director... You might check to see if you can be in another ensemble. If not and you have actively supportive parents, you might attempt to change the policy.
Do you have active youth symphonies locally?

Finally, around here at least, with a few bureaucratic annoyances high school students can enroll in classes at the local junior college...which has a few ensembles.

These might work for you.

Its a pity you could not work with the band director, if you were section leader I assume the director had some respect for you. After all conductors and band directors are entitled to be petty dictators. I am sure we've all had to tolerate unpleasant people (or will at some point) and situations to achieve something else. Of course I've no idea what the problems were for you.

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Mark Charette 
Date:   2001-08-25 17:07

In my middle son's HS band you have to do marching band to get into concert band, but the marching band has a lot of fun - they're not "into" marching competitions, though they've done well at them.

Then again, the HS isn't in Texas ;^)

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Bob Curtis 
Date:   2001-08-25 19:36

Leanne and Everyone:

We seem to have avoided the major problem here -- just WHY there is a difference between Leanne and her director? I taught band for 37 years in the public schools of Texas and now find myself becoming involved again after 12 years absence due to retirement. A local Junior College has invited me to become their band director, so I have had a little experience in these areas.

Back to the main problem. Leanne, I don't know what problems you and your band director had, but it seems to be very serious to you. Have you ever taken the time to visit and talk with him about your differences? If they are in area of opinion you might have a rather dificult time convincing him (or her) that your opinion is better and that he should change his. However, if it in the area of some area of physical limitation, etc. in regard to marching. etc. then I would speak with him about these so that he can become aware of the problem. Most of us are reasonable people when we have the correct information with which to work. I would certainlhy ask your parents and/or principal (music supevirsor if there is such) to participate in this mainly as a support and as a neutral observer so that the conversation could be kept on an even keel if you feel like you might be intimidated. It also might be a good idea to consult with your school counselor about this. By all means, if you feel the least bit uneasy about this event then tape record the event, but let everyone know IN ADVANCE that this is going to happen.

Not all band directors are so wrapped up with marching that we can not see anything else. However, in some areas of the country almost the first half of the year is involved in football and, of course, the band is involved, and if the team goes on to Region, Area, and finally State you don't even get to have a Christmas concert until early February!!! Most of the band students polled in the schools where I have taught stated they felt that marching season was the best time of the year. We (directors) tried our best to make it a fun and enjoyable (if that is possible) time while also a definite learning experience. The crowds always enjoyed our performances, and we participated in UIL contests and generally came home with a division One rating. We had no choice -- we had to do it for so long!!

Yes, you can participate in college without continuing band in high school, but are you going to let this incident ruin it for you. I still feel that you should get to the root of the matter, try to solve it, and go on from there. If you can't solve ithe problem then you have alternatives. I would suggest strongly taking part in a community band in your locale or perhaps taking part in a college band as an extension course if possible. There are other alternatives, but lets face those bridges when we come to them.

Please let me know how this comes out --

Good Luck in your choices --

Bob Curtis

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: mw 
Date:   2001-08-25 23:22

Bob, I think, is headed in the RIGHT direction. Leanne, what do your parents think about this difficulty with the Band Director? It also seems that you have a frriend & ally in the Assistant Band Director.

Because Music seems to be so important to you, and because it would seem that any action taken is FRESH, perhaps it's time to go BACK to the "table" and talk.

No one's perfect .....

Best,
mw

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Leanne 
Date:   2001-08-25 23:42

I checked at the local music store. They didn't really seem to know of anything, but I haven't given up hope yet.

I know in life, I will not like everyone I work with. I was signed up for the non-competitive band, and he made me section leader so I had to join marching band. He admitted to the band that if he could turn back time, he would have never come to our school. This man is out of control, and he's tearing this band program to shreads.

I tried to talk to the assistant band director about it, but he was being too defensive. I couldn't get it through to him that I was not happy. When I dropped, he told me it was "out of the blue" I had to refresh his memory that I had infact tried to talk to him.

I feel that I did everything I could before dropping band. It just had to do with the fact that I felt if I didn't get out of there, that man and his assistant were going to make me hate music. Sadly, that's probably what would have happened.

I've been out of band four days, and I've been more into music then I have been for a long time.

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Leanne 
Date:   2001-08-25 23:49

I forgot to say my parents have been telling me that my band director is up to no good for a long time. They fully support me in this decision. Over the last 2 years, my parents have had many dealings with him, about the way he pushed me around.

I did have a friend and ally with the assistant director. He was the only reason I made it this far. I don't think he knows that, or maybe he wouldn't have let the band director push me out the door. He could have gotten me to stay, and that's why I feel so trapped in the middle.

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: David Pegel 
Date:   2001-08-26 02:31

Don't worry about it. Things like that happen to the best of us.

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: jbutler 
Date:   2001-08-26 03:05

Just might be the best thing for both you and the director by the sound of it. "pushed me around"...I hope that was a figurative statement rather than a literal one.

John

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Kim 
Date:   2001-08-26 03:22

Maybe he is trying to make you do more than you want to. Maybe the band director thinks that you are very good and doesn't understand why you are not meeting his expectations. Sometimes, band directors need to see students that work their tails off to raise their spirits. If they see that nobody is exerting any effort, they may "want to leave" and not really mean it. I'd try and talk to him and see what's up.

Good luck,

Kim

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: HAT 
Date:   2001-08-26 03:58

Move forward and forget about it. There's little you can learn in high school band that will help you much in college anyway. If it makes you bitter about music it's worse than nothing, in my opinion.

If you practice an hour of scales every day with a metronome, you'll be in fine shape to start college.

-David Hattner, NYC
www.northbranchrecords.com

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Azzacca 
Date:   2001-08-26 17:15

After all the blasts against marching band that I've seen on this board, it makes me so thankful my school discontinued marching band a few years before I started in high school (so long ago). There weren't enough students in band to have both concert and marching bands, so we were all in concert band, and then did "pep band" on the side. No uniforms, no marching, just playing the music for the cheerleaders and the flag corps (who were from the band actually). Our pep band was even complimented by a "rival" marching band director at a girls basketball state game because he had never seen a band with so much energy and pep :) Must have been because our uniforms were just a tshirt (matching of course) and blue jeans, instead of stiff polyester :)

But on topic; Leanne, if you are comfortable with your decision and have your parents support, then there is nothing to worry about. Just keep up with your practice, get a good teacher, and move on. Explain to your band friends what happened had nothing to do with them, and try to keep them as friends.

You might consider going to to the school board and issuing a complaint. If other students are having the same experience, soon there won't be a band for the teacher to destroy. Unless the school board is trying to get rid of the band program to save money, they should take an active interest in what's happening.

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Ginny 
Date:   2001-08-26 17:40

A bit off topic. My son just returned from his marching band camp. He loved it. He likes the dance like quality and the complicated routines and general challenge. He liked being a part of the big thing. So, at least here, someone is doing something right.

Just a thought, for another option. Do they have inter-intra district transfers out your way? Where we are, with some difficulty, you can attend HS in another district or at another school.

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Leanne 
Date:   2001-08-26 18:23

The principal had already been talked to about the band director, action was taken, but nothing changed, and his attitude was "I tried."

I'm districted for a different high school. It wouldn't have been a problem to change schools, but I didn't want to because I wouldn't have known anybody, and besides, it is my senior year. If it would have been my junior year, you can bet I would be going to that school right now.

Just a comment if I didn't make myself clear. I don't really like marching band, but not enough so that I would quit band. This is because my parents have genorously opened up their wallets to send me to band camp and give the director what ever money he asks for. The band booster organization runs a bingo session every Tuesday night. They are now being audited. Something's up, and I don't want politics to ruin music for me.

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Meri 
Date:   2001-08-28 01:52

Too bad your quitting of that band was not that simple. And it's not always easy. I decided to leave the band [concert band; very few places in Canada have marching bands--perhaps one good thing about not living in the US) at my university campus because the conductor hardly cared about music and the same goes for all but three of the other musicians. I know the other clarinet players would have hated me either way, staying in the band, they would have hated me because I was a lot better than them, and leaving the band, they would have hated me because they can no longer depend on me to do the first clarinet parts. (but I have a lot of music stuff between mid-September and April this year anyway)

1) You can look into playing in a good community band. Or play chamber music. Do you play in city-wide, region-wide, or state-wide groups? If they only call for performing experience, any of them will cover it, if they call for band experience, you're still covered. Think about it: leaving marching band will give you more time to do other things, music and otherwise.

2) The clarinet players. Just ignore their reactions. They were using you because you were a better player.

Meri

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Mark Charette 
Date:   2001-08-28 03:18

Meri wrote:
> I know the
> other clarinet players would have hated me either way, staying
> in the band, they would have hated me because I was a lot
> better than them, and leaving the band, they would have hated
> me because they can no longer depend on me to do the first
> clarinet parts. (but I have a lot of music stuff between
> mid-September and April this year anyway)

A general observation, I'm sure not applicable to you:

I've rarely seen people disliking someone for being better than they are, but I have seen people disliking someone for being reminded of that via an attitude.

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: connie 
Date:   2001-08-28 18:27

I think the other clarinet players got mad at you because they're jealous - you had the guts to do what they would have liked to have done!

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 RE: Life beyond band (unless they kill me...)
Author: Robert 
Date:   2001-09-05 18:21

I had a similar situation, my senior year I was forced to leave after Marching Season my Senior year because of scheduling conflicts and all that. Anyway the head director was furious, I kinda understood... afterall he lost his allstate contra-alto player. My fellow band members were pissed for a while, but you know they finally got over it and after a while it just passed. I disagree about the whole jealousy thing of your fellow members. I think overall they aren't mad that you quit, just more that you didn't give any warning. I don't think colleges would care if you were in HS band or not. Most don't learn much of anything in HS band. I have to say definatly that I learned more in the first few months of my freshman year of college, than I did in my high school years of band combined. Anyway, I wish you luck and just go with the flow.

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