 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Kathy
Date: 2001-06-08 16:53
I often look and occasionally buy clarinets from online auctions including eBay. As you know from other postings here, the things people post are often hilarious. I've been mentally compiling a list of things that send up red flags about an auction. Here are some of my caveats. If anyone else would like to contribute, it not only might be funny, but possibly could help some hapless novice buyer to avoid that piece of junk.
THINK TWICE ABOUT BIDDING ON THAT INSTRUMENT WHEN:
- the seller emphasizes that it comes with a hard case, and how great the case is.
- the seller says L@@K, W@W, vintage, rare (or some variation thereof) in the auction title. One of my favorite oxymorons is "Antique Vito Clarinet". (Vitos haven't been manufactured long enough to be antique.)
- the seller emphasizes the length of the instrument.
- the seller says "all the levers work"
- the seller calls a "B-flat" clarinet a "B" clarinet.
- the seller calls an "A" clarinet an "A-flat" clarinet.
- the seller says something like "this is shorter than a normal clarinet" when advertising an E-flat.
- the seller says "I don't know anything about xxx BUT...", where xxx is instruments, clarinets, etc.
- the seller spells the brand or model name wrong, e.g. "Selmar", "Niblet" (as was pointed out a couple of days ago here), "Buffet Champion" etc.
- the seller says "I think this might be wood ..."
- the seller calls it rosewood instead of blackwood or grenadilla.
- the seller misidentifies the instrument completely - I've seen flutes labeled clarinets and vice versa. Also oboes called clarinets and vice versa, metal clarinets called soprano saxophones, and alto clarinets called saxophones.
- The seller states "Reed is (or is not) included". Like you'd really want to use that putrid old reed ...
- The seller calls reeds "pieces of wood".
- The seller calls a ligature "the thing that holds the reed (or piece of wood) in place.
- In photos, the instrument is assembled wrong.
- In photos, the keywork is carefully turned to the back so you can't see it.
- Almost without saying, there's no photo included.
- A seller lists several different instruments, but uses the same photo for each.
I'm sure you auction surfers must have many others to add to this list!
Kathy
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Author: mw
Date: 2001-06-08 17:37
Hmmmm. Here are some thoughts :
You are correct that many of the statements that you listed are indicative of a NOVICE or sometimes worse. VERY MUCH SO.
That said, I can't agree that folks should steer clear.
In fact, if they have an interest there is an operating method to follow to help AVOID PROBLEMS:
1. . Ask plenty of questions about the auction item --- questions of a descriptive nature --- which will allow you as a potential bidder to make a better informed judgement about the auction item. Save all your e-mail/correspondence. Ask for photos when none are provided.
2. Try & learn more about the seller -- ebe a detective or a mortgage processor. Determine who/what you are dealing with -- gauge their "creditworthiness" so to speak. Phone calls may be in order.
3. Try & get the Seller to allow you to return the instrument where they miss the mark **in whole or part** .... merely what was a mistake in judgement. Ex: Seller says "No cracks or chips or damage." You say "If there are any cracks, chips, or other obvious or apparent damage to the instrument, may I return this Clarinet (or accessory) for a refund? I'D BE WILLING TO BET THAT 30% OF MY PURCHASES ARE RETURNED FOR FULL CREDIT --- REFUNDS MADE CHEERFULLY ... andf cheerfully received. Like the book says, nothing ventured nothing gained!
I have purchased Buffet R-13 Bb/A/Eb, Leblanc Opus/LL/Symphonie, many professional Selmer & Yamaha horns. Clarinets _in great shape_ from Sellers who didn't have any knowledge of clarinets. Probably have returned as many as I have purchased. Informed sellers, like Clarinetists, tend to ask more $$$ for their sale items, whether on BID or otherwise. (Take a look at the Sneezy Classified for a good example of mostly over-priced items)
BIDDERS ARE POOR TOO. THEY DON'T ASK QUESTIONS. WHEN THEY GET STUCK IN A DEAL ... MOST TIMES THEY "EAT" THE LOSS. THEY SHOULD NOT DO THIS --- ALWAYS COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR SELLER!
Best,
mw
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Author: Carl L
Date: 2001-06-08 18:41
"MW" hit the nail right on the head. I collect clarinets, fiddles, tubas, trombones and an occasional banjo or two. I got into collecting instruments while trailing after my wife at flea markets, garage sales, antique shows, etc. MOST PEOPLE KNOW LITTLE OR NOTHING about the instrument that they're selling. I bought a valuable Conn Eb tuba a few years ago for 200 bucks. Spent a number of hours repairing and polishing- sold same horn for $1700! Ebay is no different. There are a bunch of people looking to sell Ucle Freddie's old trumpet (actually a cornet...) or that old student instrument they're kid played in school band back when the Beatles were touring.
I ALWAYS ask the seller if he or she is sure they want to part with said instrument for such and such a price. I have never knowingly ripped anybody off, but, having said that, Caveat Emptor, buyer AND seller beware. If you have spent the time and effort to research instruments and come across a real bargain...go for it! Sure, there's a certain percentage of knucleheads ready to rip you off and palm some piece of crap off on the unsuspecting buyer. But I've found over the last 25 years there are great bargains out there! I don't mean to badmouth new instrument manufacturers...but I find the old, aged, broken-in fiddles, tubas, banjos play better than new, right-off-the line instruments. Just my opinion.
Now shut down your computer and go PRACTICE...
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Author: ron b
Date: 2001-06-08 22:08
Kathy -
Love your 'mental list' 
I also like the ones who tell us the instrument plays beautifully. The seller then states he/she doesn't know how to play and there's no mouthpiece included. But the clarinet has a wonderful tone.
Of course they do :])
- ron b -
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Author: Pam
Date: 2001-06-08 22:33
Good list! I also beware when someone says "my daughter has one just like it and loves it" or something similar. I've seen that line a few times.
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Author: Douglas
Date: 2001-06-09 00:35
My all time favorite mislabeling in an eBay auction was the seller who had a clarinet with "new pads and quarks." I still laugh everytime I think of it.
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Author: mw
Date: 2001-06-09 03:28
Actually there was a fellow on eBay for quite some time who was elling Taiwanese & Chinese (new clarinets & making claims about it being left over stock, or old-new stock, clarinets. He repeartedly said he got his daughter one & she just loved it. He had come across another & well ... just thought he would do another would be student a favor. Unscrupulous seller. If you questioned him, which I did, his disquise quickly came off. mw
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Author: John Gould
Date: 2001-06-09 03:49
Not to venture too far, but my wife is a violinist, and has seen advertisments on bulletin boards, etc. for (I'm not making this up) a "Santa's Hairyass" violin, or a "Statoverse" violin, or a "Santavarious" violin. And we must not forget those clarinet adverts that breathlessly exclaim the instrument has starling silver keys.
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Author: Micaela
Date: 2001-06-09 21:07
John- Don't forget that maker "Stratovarious," whom I've seen a few times on Ebay. And a supposed Strad spelled right but dated almost a century after the maker's death. Along with that cool piano dude Fiszt.
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Author: mw
Date: 2001-06-11 15:43
Ok, here is an auction description going off today:
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"This clarinet has all parts and keys all seem to work. I believe this instuments can be easily played as it is. I am selling as in found condition. I don't play or work on horns so will leave that up to the buyer. Thanks for checking it out."
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My experience is that _THIS_ auction will not work out for you. We have a Seller who really wants to sell in "found condition" with no responsibility should the Bidder/Buyer be Unhappy. You can't check it out. I have called these people. They want some one to HOPE that the instrument is OK so that bidding will go higher. If you are unhappy when you receive the Instrument this Seller will offer no refund or compensation.
Best,
mw
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