Author: WhitePlainsDave
Date: 2017-06-26 06:28
So, you probably wish you had auditioned better, placed better, and weren't subject to redicule.
I think the key to you dealing with this is too fold: acceptance and independence.
Acceptance: you will have bad auditions/practice days/rehearsals/performances. This is part of not only being a musician, but life itself.
How could you ever have a good/great day if you never had a so-so or mediocre one?
As Justin said, reflect on what you did. The audition then will have more meaning in allowing you to identify shortcomings.
Was it sight reading, was it scales, was it solo play, nerves, a bad read, all or none of the prior?
As you've alluded to, take stock in being with a group of good players, even if in truth, all as they redicule you, you might be better than some. We tend to do our best when among better players.
Would you rather be concertmaster of some baby band where you'll learn nothing?
Ricardo Morales, clearly one of the world's best players talks here about the importance to being a good person, in order to be a good musician.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Hh0TZhhBoU
Feel sorry, not mad at the less than professional players around you: their rudeness may limit their musicianship. Only a player not confident in his or her own abilities has to put another player down. You experienced their weakness, not yours.
I'll get on people's case for lack of preparedness. I'll also get on people's case for ridiculing the player who is doing their best, even if that's not virtuosic.
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Indepedence
We draw a fine line in this world aound listening to the advice, both friend and foe give us, and marching to the beat of our own drummer. You need more of the latter.
Who cares where you sit--answer: you do..because you care what other people think. Care more about the music, and you.
There's a band I sit in where I choose to play 3rd so the students can sit in higher positions and learn. I don't care that spectators may think "boy that guy in the back must stink."
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The title of this piece is regaining self confidence. Cut yourself slack, this wasn't the reason to lose confidence. But nevertheless, to get it back, you will work your tail off at meaningful practice, (regular and this ensemble's play) ideally with a strong teacher.
Channel this into motivating yourself to be the best there. Remember, you're in this because you love music.
And don't ever do to others what these childish players did to you. Their message is of self praise, which is oxymoronic. Even if they play better, their worth as people is not better than yours.
If I found one my student's doing that I'd chew them out and tolerate it at most once.
I'd ask them if they were so great, to play this (some advanced thing)...then, I'd mildly Whiplash them... (that's a "musical" term ![[wink]](http://test.woodwind.org/clarinet/BBoard/smileys/smilie3.gif) )
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDAsABdkWSc
Ever notice the humility of some of the best, Morales, McGill, Hudgins.
Look at this video of Hudgins. The guy's so sweet he could have taken over the Mr. Rogers Neighborhood show on PBS when much loved Fred Rogers
passed away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okTYQIOUb3Q
Post Edited (2017-06-26 06:34)
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