 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: WhitePlainsDave
Date: 2015-01-15 07:13
I know it will never happen, but I'd love to see a segment of the American TV Show Mythbusters devoted exclusively to the clarinet.
Topics like clarinet construction materials, reeds, ligatures could all be put to the test.
...maybe instead an entire edition of Consumer Reports devoted to clarinet equipment.
Something tells me the edition wouldn't fly off the shelves given the limited size of the people who would be interested. That said, anything you'd like them to test (e.g. high heat/cold, cannon ball resistance, height drop test, successful use as a car jack?)?
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Author: derf5585
Date: 2015-01-15 08:16
Remember it's all "About the Bass Clarinet not soprano"
fsbsde@yahoo.com
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Author: Lelia Loban ★2017
Date: 2015-01-16 18:41
>Remember it's all "About the Bass Clarinet not soprano">
Well, hmmm . . . I'd make that "All About the Bass, Contra-Alto and Contrabass," with some transposition lore. And since the gang on "Mythbusters" loves blowing things up and also participates on "Punkin Chunkin," we could expect them explore the weaponization of large clarinets.
Lelia
http://www.scoreexchange.com/profiles/Lelia_Loban
To hear the audio, click on the "Scorch Plug-In" box above the score.
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Author: Lelia Loban ★2017
Date: 2015-01-20 00:26
David Blumberg wrote,
>For every Myth that is "debunked", there is someone else who can "prove" that it is true.
>
Yeah -- bummer. But the real problem is that clarinet myths aren't nearly interesting enough to intrigue writers for a TV program. I mean, here among ourselves, we clarinerds can discuss endlessly which brand of ligature is best, which brand of reed is best, which clarinet is best, etc. etc., but has anybody here ever encountered a non-clarinet player who gives half a squeak about our cherished myths?
Naaah -- if we wanted a clarinutty episode of "Mythbusters" then we'd need a much more exciting myth. We haven't got one, have we? So we'd need to come up with an irresistibly lurid lie -- oops, I mean we'd need to *remember* a more lurid bit of *lore* -- and spread it around until it went viral.
![[grin]](http://test.woodwind.org/clarinet/BBoard/smileys/smilie5.gif)
Lelia
http://www.scoreexchange.com/profiles/Lelia_Loban
To hear the audio, click on the "Scorch Plug-In" box above the score.
Post Edited (2015-01-20 01:10)
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Author: WhitePlainsDave
Date: 2015-01-20 01:45
We could ask the Mythbusters to drop clarinets and/or their players from high places, blown up with dynamite in their bore (hereafter the "blow" test), or shot out various launch platforms (cannon, shoulder RPG launcher, or simple javelin throw) to test speed, accuracy, distance, degree of destruction and destructive capabilities.
I find my direct hit ratios rise demonstratively when javelin tossing with a V.12 reed and Rovner lig.
Everyone's up for mayhem and destruction, even if it's clarinets, and especially if it's reeds, if your a clarinet player.
Post Edited (2015-01-20 02:28)
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Author: Wisco99
Date: 2015-01-20 03:16
It would not take long to dispel the myth that clarinets don't squeak. Then there is the myth of a clarinet section playing in tune. Personally I would like to find out which burns longer, a bass clarinet or a bassoon. Myth Busters, bring it on!
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Author: Tony F
Date: 2015-01-20 04:58
Some suggestions for Mythbusters.
If a clarinet plays alone in the forest where nobody can hear it, does it still squeak?
1. A clarinet has no echo, and nobody knows why!
2. If a bass, contrabase, alto, soprano and sopranillo clarinet are simultaneously dropped from a high building,
A. Will they fall at the same rate?
B. Who cares?
3. Are Buffets inherantly more accurate than Selmers when thrown?
4. Is the Coriolus effect of significance when tuning a clarinet?
Tony F.
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Author: WhitePlainsDave
Date: 2015-01-20 17:54
Tony:
As a loyal Buffet player nonetheless, everyone knowns Buffet's are inherantly less accurate when thrown. At 16 tones..err..I mean centimeters below the center bull's eye type throws, they often land 20 cents...err...I mean mm's below where they should, and the opposite for throws above the bull's eye.
We do though love the way those Buffet's glide to the target though, even if, adjusted for inflation, inferior wood arrows..err...I mean clarinets of today sell for 4 times what better R13's of the 1950's and 60's did.
As far as the "forest tests" are concerned, would you mind if I add one?
Q: Does a first rate orchestral prospect still get hired by an orchestra if he plays his clarinet in the middle of the forest with a bit of vibrato?
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