 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: JJAlbrecht
Date: 2011-02-28 12:31
It's in my signature.
See below!
Jeff
“Everyone discovers their own way of destroying themselves, and some people choose the clarinet.” Kalman Opperman, 1919-2010
"A drummer is a musician's best friend."
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Author: clariza
Date: 2011-02-28 17:38
re Jeff: when i saw your signature, my entire life made sense!
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Author: salzo
Date: 2011-02-28 17:45
"Why do clarinetists believe everything except their ears?"
-Ben Armato
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Author: ramsa
Date: 2011-02-28 18:07
After explaining the importance of good vs bad reeds and clarinet tone, my wife says, "You must have got a whole box of bad reeds..."
Teresa Buck - 2011
This is a genuine signature.
Post Edited (2011-02-28 18:08)
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Author: Wes
Date: 2011-02-28 19:24
Definition of a gentleman: "A man who has a clarinet but doesn't play it!'
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Author: bmcgar ★2017
Date: 2011-02-28 19:42
"No birdcall is the musical equal of a clarinet blown with panache." - Edward Hoagland
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Author: Ed Palanker
Date: 2011-02-28 20:02
What's the difference between a Bb clarinet and a bass clarinet? The bass clarinet burns longer. ESP http://eddiesclarinet.com
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Author: Bob Bernardo
Date: 2011-02-28 21:40
Eddie - Fantastic!
You are hurting my dogs ears, he barking, play that high C an octive lower.
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Author: Ken Shaw ★2017
Date: 2011-02-28 21:51
Q: What's perfect pitch?
A: Throwing a bass clarinet into a dumpster without hitting the rim.
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Author: Evans
Date: 2011-03-01 06:27
"How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he'll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one." --Unknown
So far, this is my favorite.
Evan B. Stanfill
1971 Noblet 45
Vandoran V360 Mouthpiece
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Author: justme
Date: 2011-03-01 06:33
Mine is also on my signature.
I believe that Wes and Ed Palanker have some winning quotes on this subject!
Just Me
"A critic is like a eunuch: he knows exactly how it ought to be done."
CLARINET, n.
An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments that are worse than a clarinet -- two clarinets
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Author: beejay
Date: 2011-03-01 08:37
The quote about the clarinet being an instrument of torture comes, I believe, from the Devil's Dictionary of Ambrose Bierce. He called them clarionets.
Some of my favorites include:
"Oh! If only we had clarinets. You have no idea of the effect of clarinets!" - Mozart.
"The long purply sound of the clarinet. That's the sound that has been haunting me" ... Luciano Berio
"The clarinet, though appropriate to the expression of the most poetic ideas and sentiments, is really an epic instrument - the voice of heroic love" - Berlioz
"The many-keyed clarinet, can sound so ghostly in the deep chalumeau register but higher up can gleam in silvery blossoming harmony" - Thomas Mann
"The clarinet is suited to the expression of sorrow, and even when it plays a merry air there is a suggestion of sadness about it. If I were to dance in prison, I should wish to do so to the accompaniment of a clarinet" - André Grétry
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Author: beejay
Date: 2011-03-01 08:44
I shouldn't have forgotten my favorite instrument ...
"The basset horn expresses yearning, love, a blissful drifting into a spirit world, and a wistfulness to a degree impossible on any other instrument"
Gustav Schilling
"The sound of the basset horn reminds one of the scent of a red carnation" -
E T A Hoffman
"The mellow tone, so heart-rending and soft, the extensive low register which is majestic on a good instrument and which approaches the richness of the horn and the elegance of the bassoon, the lovely melting middle register - all
these are ideally suited to the expression of gentle dignity" -
Josef Froehlich
"I think no instrument adapts itself so closely to the human voice as the basset horn" - Brahms:
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Author: Ken Shaw ★2017
Date: 2011-03-01 17:10
In the introduction to his collected music criticism, Music in London 1890-94, George Bernard Shaw wrote:
I was strong on the need [in 1888] for signed criticism written in the first person instead of the journalist 'we'; but as I then had no name worth signing, and GBS meant nothing to the public, I had to invent a fantastic personality with something like a foreign title. I thought of Count di Luna (from Il Travatore) but finally changed it for Corno di Bassetto, as it sounded like a foreign title, and nobody knew what a corno di bassetto was.
As a matter of fact the corno di bassetto is not a foreigner with a title but a musical instrument called in English the basset horn. It is a wretched instrument, now completely snuffed out for general use by the bass clarinet. It would be forgotten and unplayed if it were not that Mozart has scored for it in his Requiem, evidently because its peculiar watery melancholy and the total absence of any richness of passion in its tone is just the thing for a funeral. Mendelssohn wrote some chamber music for it, presumably to oblige somebody who played it; and it is kept alive by these works....
If I had ever heard a note of it in 1888 I would not have selected it for a character which I intended to be sparkling. The devil himself could not make a basset horn sparkle.
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Author: beejay
Date: 2011-03-01 23:12
Ken,
I knew someone would pick up on that one. That's the way I play it, unfortunately, but in better hands ...
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Author: Ed Palanker
Date: 2011-03-01 23:39
My second quote. What's worse than one Eb clarinet, drum roll please, two Eb clarinets. ESP
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Author: JJAlbrecht
Date: 2011-03-01 23:53
How to you get two eefers to play in tune?
Shoot one of them.
Jeff
“Everyone discovers their own way of destroying themselves, and some people choose the clarinet.” Kalman Opperman, 1919-2010
"A drummer is a musician's best friend."
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Author: fskelley
Date: 2014-11-19 22:43
"Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 50 minute clarinet solo."
Stan in Orlando
EWI 4000S with modifications
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Author: tylerleecutts
Date: 2014-11-20 01:52
Didn't Bonade recommend that a clarinetist pick a mouthpiece from a basket of their stock blindfolded and throw away the rest?
Surprisingly good advice. .
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Author: Dori
Date: 2014-11-20 02:40
A squeak is a perfect altissimo note played at the wrong time.
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Author: fskelley
Date: 2014-11-20 02:53
"A squeak is a perfect altissimo note played at the wrong time."
I like that. And it's true. I have at least one recording where I'm not sure whether I was trying for a high note or squeaked it in by accident- but either way, it fit and I didn't try to edit it out later.
That makes wonder whether, in the art music world- has anyone written something for clarinet that when played correctly, always makes the uninitiated audience think the player is squeaking? If so, was it diabolical or just the nature of the composition?
Stan in Orlando
EWI 4000S with modifications
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Author: WhitePlainsDave
Date: 2014-11-20 07:36
Clarinet: A difficult version of an oboe, for players not sufficiently challenged by this "double reed toy."
Usage:
"I've master this trivial 'gazoo' and want something that's more musically challenging and interesting!"
"Why not try the clarinet?"
"Woa dude. I said challenging, not impossible!"
(OF COURSE: I jest and in reality the opposite is true!)
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Author: Nessie1
Date: 2014-11-20 13:18
How about this one from my late, great teacher, Angela Fussell, which she wrote in my notebook on one occasion: Discretion is the better part of clarinetting!
Vanessa.
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Author: Dori
Date: 2014-11-24 22:27
I found these on a T shirt site:
It's all fun and games until someone chips a reed.
I'm not lost. I'm practicing my page turning.
I play clarinet. What's YOUR superpower? (I bought this one, but I also got the tuba version for my son<g>)
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