 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Ken Shaw ★2017
Date: 2013-07-09 00:33
I owe the board in general and Tony Pay and Patrick Hanudel in particular a deep apology. I've been in a bipolar manic episode for the past few weeks, though I recognized it only today. My mind has been jumping around like fleas on a hot-plate. I've also been shouting at my beloved wife and endangering her life, not to mention our new car, with reckless driving.
Tomorrow, I'm going (back) on lithium.
At the end of Gilbert and Sullivan's Ruddigore, Mad Margaret and Sir Despard Murgatroyd, the Bad Baronet, rekindle their love. She tells him that "strange fancies crowd upon my poor mad brain, and I sometimes think that if we could hit upon some word for you to use whenever I am about to relapse -- some word that teems with hidden meaning -- like "Basingstoke" -- it might recall me to my saner self."
When anyone notices my strange fancies, I invite you to say Basingstoke, publicly or in a private message. In fact, this message is itself heavily manic, and I now Basingstoke myself.
Ken Shaw
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Author: gsurosey
Date: 2013-07-09 01:02
Been there, done that. Glad you figured out what was going on and can do something about it.
:)
----------
Rachel
Clarinet Stash:
Bb/A: Buffet R13
Eb: Bundy
Bass: Royal Global Max
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Author: Tony F
Date: 2013-07-09 02:02
You have my admiration, Sir. It takes a degree of intestinal fortitude to make such an admission. Happier times ahead!
Tony F.
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Author: curlyev
Date: 2013-07-10 05:59
Have you ever read "An Unquiet Mind" by Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison? If not, you should give it a try. Great true story!
What an amazingly brave person you are to talk about this disorder! I hope the manic episode comes to an end so your thoughts will quit racing. I hope you are sleeping and that your Lithium helps.
Clarinet: Wooden Bundy 1950s
Mthpc: WW Co. B6 refaced by Kurtzweil
Lig: Various Rovners
Barrel/Bell: Backun
Reeds: Legere 3.75
OKC Symphonic Band (just started this summer)
*playing 22 years (with a 5 year hiatus) and counting*
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Author: Ken Shaw ★2017
Date: 2013-07-10 16:42
curlyev -
I've read nearly everything Kay Redfield Jamison has written. She has amazing insight, based on her own experience and professional study.
When I'm manic, I can barely read. It took me nearly a week to get through a fascinating story in the current New Yorker about Ben Franklin's sister. I'm constantly reminded of something else. After half a paragraph, I've jumped to the moon, or Dante's Inferno, or something cruel a girl said to me in the fifth grade. Then I spend half an hour devising an even crueler comeback. My duels with Tony are merely recent examples. The problem is that I do it really well. Read my story about the dragon http://test.woodwind.org/clarinet/BBoard/read.html?f=1&i=390481&t=390354, which flowed or even spurted out over the course of a couple of minutes.
But it's like heroin. I gotta stop. It's me, but I can't bear being that me.
I've taken a lot of the board's attention for myself -- a classic manic maneuver. I'll try to Basingstoke until the lithium takes hold.
Ken Shaw
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Author: curlyev
Date: 2013-07-10 19:42
I too love all her books! I also agree with what Lelia says above!
Clarinet: Wooden Bundy 1950s
Mthpc: WW Co. B6 refaced by Kurtzweil
Lig: Various Rovners
Barrel/Bell: Backun
Reeds: Legere 3.75
OKC Symphonic Band (just started this summer)
*playing 22 years (with a 5 year hiatus) and counting*
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Author: gkern
Date: 2013-07-10 21:49
Hang in there, Ken; I hope Tony graciously accepts your apology. If so, I do not believe any of us on the forum will think lesser of either of you.
I have always enjoyed your comments.
Best wishes.
Gary K
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Author: Paula S
Date: 2013-07-10 22:13
Ken and Tony , love you both and your infinite wisdom! Bboard and the world are more the richer for both of you being here xxx
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Author: Paula S
Date: 2013-07-10 22:16
Forgot to add, entirely agree with both of you on Hanudel thread! LOL :-)
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Author: Paula S
Date: 2013-07-10 22:24
Oh yes and Ken........ fancy a weekend in Basingstoke...... clarinetting of course! :-)
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Author: FDF
Date: 2013-07-10 22:59
Read the story about Jane Franklin. She was a great soul in the shadow of her brother. They shared a love for each other. Jane proved that great souls can belong to the unknown or famous, and still have lived a valued life. To me, you are among the great souls.
Thanks for your contributions.
Forest
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Author: Tony Pay ★2017
Date: 2013-07-11 14:17
Of course I'm very sorry that Ken is having the trouble he is.
(Feel better soon, Ken:-)
I don't feel he owes me any personal apology, though.
Tony
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Author: Ken Shaw ★2017
Date: 2013-07-11 14:41
Tony -
I unloaded some real zingers on you. I apologize out of my own regret.
I turned on the radio yesterday and heard your Weber #2. Very exciting. The CD has been in my collection forever. I'm sure your concept has grown and evolved, but what do you think of that recording today?
------------------------------------------------
For everyone -
I'm on a new med, which has quieted things down a lot.
Thanks so much for the outpouring of postings and private messages. It means a lot. What I want most is to get back to writing here about what I've learned and what I hear and think.
Ken Shaw
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Author: Tony Pay ★2017
Date: 2013-07-11 19:50
I don't really listen to any of my CDs. I remember that that one was much less successful for me than the previous live concert. I didn't like the sound, and then we ran out of time....recordings....
You don't owe me a personal apology because your zingers are just fluff, really, aren't they?
The apology you rather owe is to the truth.
I'm glad your new meds are better for you, though.
Tony
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Author: Ken Shaw ★2017
Date: 2013-07-11 22:36
Tony -
You are a great source of wisdom. I claim no monopoly on the truth, and I frequently (though not always) make mistakes.
Ken Shaw
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Author: Tony Pay ★2017
Date: 2013-07-11 22:45
Ha ha.
You, and everyone else, know what I mean. I've explained it often enough.
You would free yourself, and all of us.
Tony
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Author: curlyev
Date: 2013-07-13 06:09
Ralph, are you saying that in a "Captain Picard voice?" If not, I am.
Clarinet: Wooden Bundy 1950s
Mthpc: WW Co. B6 refaced by Kurtzweil
Lig: Various Rovners
Barrel/Bell: Backun
Reeds: Legere 3.75
OKC Symphonic Band (just started this summer)
*playing 22 years (with a 5 year hiatus) and counting*
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Author: Ralph Katz
Date: 2013-07-13 10:29
Did Patrick Stewart play Despard in Ruddigore?
Despard: Margaret, if you don't Basingstoke at once, I shall be seriously angry.
Margaret (recovering herself): Basingstoke it is!
Despard: Then make it so.
Post Edited (2013-07-13 10:29)
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Author: curlyev
Date: 2013-07-13 18:01
Ah, The Witches Curse...I'm sure Patrick Stewart would have appreciated it.
Clarinet: Wooden Bundy 1950s
Mthpc: WW Co. B6 refaced by Kurtzweil
Lig: Various Rovners
Barrel/Bell: Backun
Reeds: Legere 3.75
OKC Symphonic Band (just started this summer)
*playing 22 years (with a 5 year hiatus) and counting*
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Author: Rezzie
Date: 2013-07-13 19:51
Best of luck with your meds, Ken.
For those of us who have ridden the roller coaster and seen the black dog, you are not alone.
Be well.
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Author: Garth Libre
Date: 2013-07-14 11:42
Ken, you have me in tears. There is not one of us alive that doesn't have much to apologize for. Of all the bad things I've ever done, the worst is to fail to realize my own failings and to fail to admit it. No person, being as honest and naked as you have been, should be left without heart felt forgiveness after a heart felt confession like yours. Let me add my forgiveness and understanding to what has already been expressed. Sometimes, the measure of a man is not his sterling achievements but his honesty and humbleness. The world, especially on this particular day, needs to be more like you.
Garth, 305-981-4705. garthlibre@yahoo.com
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Author: Tony Pay ★2017
Date: 2013-07-15 00:21
Ken, you don't need to apologise for the rants, zingers and so on that you say you have directed at me.
Though, as you have said, you have felt impelled to make them because of your particular condition -- good luck with it, by the way -- many of us, including myself, have indulged ourselves in this way when we feel ourselves pressed.
It's something that happens in life.
But I'd say, it does little damage. So, forgive yourself. I certainly forgive you.
What I would like you to do is something much more simple. (It may even be true that your disposition to rant against me is to do with my persistence in continuing to ask you to do this much more simple thing.)
You said of the Newark document that "While it has some interesting material, it's FULL of errors and misinformation. For every good idea, there's an idiotic one."
On the Klarinet list, we went through a long process in which Diego Casadei found what he thought was a fundamental error in this document. Both I and Keith Bowen found that our understanding of clarinet acoustics was called into question in a way that we couldn't immediately explain.
In the end, we -- with the help of clarnibass -- found that Diego himself had made a fundamental error; so the document was vindicated, even though, as we both said, it was a somewhat simplified view of the situation.
But, it took quite a time, and I, and Keith Bowen, found ourselves quite confronted by the idea that we had got it all wrong.
Now, what you said about the situation was:
"I read the piece two years ago and posted about it then. I remember being dismayed at the number of inaccurate statements, but I no longer recall exactly what bothered me. I stand by my statement, but I have neither the time nor the inclination to reread the article and list the problems simply to satisfy your curiosity."
Given OUR efforts, what I want you to say is, simply:
"Probably I was just tired, and perhaps the document is OK."
This WOULDN'T BE AN APOLOGY. It would just be correcting a mistake you made in the endeavour we are all engaged in: namely to say things that make sense about the world.
Wouldn't it be better to have me as an ally in that endeavour?
Tony
Post Edited (2013-07-15 00:53)
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Author: Tony Pay ★2017
Date: 2013-07-15 19:25
>> Tony - You may be right>>
OK, thank heavens. So, you withdraw your assertions about the Newark document?
Tony
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Author: Ken Shaw ★2017
Date: 2013-07-16 02:27
Tony -
The Newark document -- I had pretty much forgotten about that. Looking back, I see that you had recommended a document, which I read and found unconvincing. You took personal offense because the authors were friends of yours.
So it's been stewing in your gut since 2009? OK, I withdraw my assertions. Please accept my apologies and convey them to the authors.
Now can we go back to discussing clarinet matters? Basingstoke to us both.
Ken Shaw
Post Edited (2013-07-16 02:30)
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Author: Tony Pay ★2017
Date: 2013-07-16 04:49
>> OK, I withdraw my assertions. >>
Thank you Ken.
No need to apologise. You were engaged in important and necessary work, namely, to correct error in our attempts to describe the world.
In this case, you were mistaken, but still: Bravo!
(Slough!-)
Tony
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Author: Tony F
Date: 2013-07-16 15:58
"Thank you Ken.
No need to apologise. You were engaged in important and necessary work, namely, to correct error in our attempts to describe the world.
In this case, you were mistaken, but still: Bravo!
(Slough!-)
Tony"
.............................................................................................................................
Sir John Betjemen said of Slough
"Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough,
It isn't fit for humans now".
This is of no relevance whatsoever.
Tony F.
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