 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: traceywooo
Date: 2012-11-03 20:06
I hate playing in front of people.
The other day I was helping out my band director with beginning band for extra credit. He asked me to demonstrate one of those passages in that essential elements book.
Yet even with something as simple and unimportant as that, my fingers started shaking, I couldn't breath correctly, all sense of musicality in my playing turned to dust.
When I was finished, my stomach felt like acid was rumbling around to the point where I wanted to throw up, and my entire body was shaking as if I were going through the after shocks of an adrenaline rush.
Do you guys have any tips? Any related stories? I am tired of this happening to me!
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Author: Katrina
Date: 2012-11-03 23:22
Practice playing alone in front of people. It will get easier with time (i.e. the more times you do it the easier it will get).
This does not mean it will ever be easy for you. One thing to try is to eat a banana about an hour before you have to play in front of people. It really does help calm the adrenaline-rush-panic.
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Author: EBC
Date: 2012-11-04 00:55
Tracey,
Performance anxiety is a natural part of the human experience, but thankfully there are many methods available to help overcome it. A sampling of resources:
Sharon Begley, Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain
Dorothy Bishop, The Musician as Athlete, Alternative Approaches to Healthy Performance
Sandra and Matthew Blakeslee, The Body has a Mind of its Own
Jack Canfield, The Success Principles, How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want Geoff Colvin, Talent is Overrated, What Really Separates World-Class Performers from Everybody Else
Barbara Conable, How to Learn the Alexander Technique
Barbara Conable, What Every Musician Needs to Know About the Body, The Practical Application of Body Mapping & the Alexander Technique to Making Music
Daniel Coyle, The Talent Code, Unlocking the Secret of Skill
William Dawson, Fit as a Fiddle, The Musician’s Guide to Playing Healthy
Pedro DeAlcantara, Indirect Procedures
Margaret Elson, Passionate Practice, The Musician’s Guide to Learning, Memorizing and Performing
Timothy Gallwey, The Inner Game of Tennis
Michael Gelb, Body Learning
Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers
Stewart Gordon, Mastering the Art of Performance
Barry Green, The Mastery of Music
Barry Green and Timothy Gallwey, The Inner Game of Music
Don Greene, Fight Your Fear and Win
Don Greene, Audition Success
Paul Harrison, The Athletic Musician
Eugen Herrigel, Zen in the Art of Archery
Janet Horvath, Playing Less Hurt
Philip Johnston, The Practice Revolution
Gerald Klickstein, The Musician’s Way
Julie Lyonn Lieberman, You Are Your Instrument, the Definitive Musician’s Guide to Practice and Performance
Jim Loehr, The Only Way to Win
Vivien Mackie, Just Play Naturally
Stephen Nachmanovitch, Free Play, Improvisation in Life and Art
Emil Pascarelli, Repetitive Strain Injury
Daniel H. Pink, Drive, The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us
Steven Pinker, How the Mind Works
John J. Ratey, Spark, the Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain
Jeffrey M. Schwartz and Sharon Begley, The Mind & the Brain, Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force
Lao Tzu, Stephen Mitchell, Tao Te Ching
Missy Vineyard, How You Stand, How You Move, How You Live
William Westney, The Perfect Wrong Note, Learning to Trust Your Musical Self
(Somewhat obvious disclaimer: I have NOT read all of these.)
There are also, obviously, MANY resources available online.
I'll go out on a limb and say that it's likely most musicians have struggled with performance anxiety at some point in their careers, some early, some late. You're probably not in it alone 
Eric
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Author: EEBaum
Date: 2012-11-04 17:29
If you want to really dig deep, what it comes down to in my case is finding a desire to actually play. If there's any part of me that doesn't want to play, that's scared of a bad note, that's worried about what the audience thinks, that wishes I was somewhere else, that thinks I'm not capable of playing the passage... if I don't want to play it, I'll find a way (nerves, missed note, checking out from the experience) to prevent myself from playing it.
If I do want to play it with every fiber of my being, then there are no nerves.
This takes a lot of soul searching and a pretty deep philosophical shift toward life, and is a hell of a lot harder than eating a banana, popping some pills, doing breathing exercises, taking a shot of vodka, or imagining the audience in their underwear. So get on it ASAP.
Until then, I recommend the Vodka. Slows your overthinking mind up and gets rid of some of your worries and inhibitions.
The core in your case, though, is that you hate playing in front of people. As long as you hate it, it will be difficult for you. Spend some time thinking about why you hate it and what you might do in order to like it. If you can't think about a situation in which you'd like it, I'd take a long hard look at why you're being a bit of a masochist and doing something you hate voluntarily. I had that very crisis earlier this year and discovered that I don't particularly like playing music for music's sake, but I also discovered that there are some angles of it that I really enjoy. So I focus on the aspects I like, and the rest of it be damned.
In life, people spend a LOT of time doing things they think they should do, but don't actually want to. Don't make yourself miserable. On the other hand, though, if you WANT to like playing in front of people, just step back and take a look at what makes you hate it. Then get rid of what it is that makes you hate it.
One question for you: Imagine someone happily, calmly playing clarinet in front of thousands of people. Would you like to be that person? There's no "right" answer, just an answer that applies to you personally.
-Alex
www.mostlydifferent.com
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Author: EBC
Date: 2012-11-04 18:32
EEBaum wrote:
> Until then, I recommend the Vodka. Slows your overthinking
> mind up and gets rid of some of your worries and inhibitions.
Not to nitpick, but since the OP seems to imply the person in question is a middle- or high-school student, I feel like the vodka may not be the best idea. (Although I've been wrong before...)
Otherwise, I largely agree with you.
Still, I don't think a change in mindset will do all the work for you. We have to get rid of the antiquated notion of mind over matter. Unfortunately, your mind IS matter and both mental AND physical preparation are important, not just one or the other.
Eric
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Author: EEBaum
Date: 2012-11-04 19:04
My recommendations are for the general case. I'm not responsible for local drinking age regulations.
I do 100% believe that a change in mindset can alleviate the problem entirely. However, it's something that you can't just "think" into fruition. It's more a letting go than a trying harder, and that's counterintuitive.
Physical preparation and repeated performance can make everything less scary and help pave the way. However, after completely obliterating my fear of playing in front of others and being completely prepared for performances which I pulled off quite well, I still experienced a block.
But at some times in the past, even when I was ill prepared and mortified of public performance, in the right circumstances (say, when I'm belting it out in a practice room when I don't give a flying ****) I'd play it to perfection without nerves. And yet I was a tense wreck last week playing a show.
Which is when I realized that, when playing this show, there was a part of me that did not want to play it. And, no matter how thoroughly you have numbed yourself to every aspect of the performance and removed yourself from life, if you do NOT want to do something, your body will respond by giving you ways to NOT do it. And if you DO want to do something, with every fiber of your being, you'll find a way to do it, to the best that your skills and preparation allow.
From there, it's a matter of embracing the things you like about it, and letting go of the things you don't like. Embrace the "I like to play this note" and forget about the "This note may go wrong." It may go wrong indeed. Worrying about it going wrong will do nothing to improve your chances of it not going wrong.
You're just blowing into a tube and twiddling your fingers. Unless the tube has poison in it or someone has a gun to your head, it shouldn't be scary. The only scary part is when you've attached counterproductive meaning to the results of what happens to that tube.
You have to not care. Not care about what happens when it goes wrong, and not feel guilty about what happens when it goes right. This has been terribly difficult for me to accept, because "what is music worth if I don't care about it?" But, once I stripped myself of caring about all the things I *DON'T* like about it (the missed notes, the possibility of a fudged performance, what people will think of me, not living up to my own expectations, possibly looking like a fool), I found myself drawn back by the things I *DO* like about it. The joy of it. And in that mindset, every note is a delightful challenge, to play as well as possible. That is when a stifling overconcern about music turns into pure love of it, and that's when good music is made, without stress.
If you can't play a passage to perfection, there's no benefit to the thought process of "****, I just fucked up that passage, I can't play the next one, this is going to suck balls." Rather, own up to your inability, and play the passage in your botchy way, enjoying how well, imperfectly, you are able to play it.
Never mind your embouchre. Never mind your tone quality. Never mind how much you drift off from the rhythmic pulse or the pitch center. These are all things that come with time and practice. Accept how well you play now, and own it. You may surprise yourself at how well you play once you stop getting in the way.
-Alex
www.mostlydifferent.com
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Author: EEBaum
Date: 2012-11-04 19:18
Back to the original post:
>>When I was finished, my stomach felt like acid was rumbling around to the point where I wanted to throw up, and my entire body was shaking as if I were going through the after shocks of an adrenaline rush.<<
Did you try having a good cry afterwards? A good scream? A good cursing out or running around the block or snapping some reeds in half? A hulk-out where you rip off half your clothes and throw a garbage can down the stairs? A good laugh about how silly this all was? A good vomit in the toilet, or perhaps into your open case? You say you wanted to throw up, perhaps you should have. It can be cathartic.
I do say this with all seriousness. We do so much in "civilized" society in an effort to maintain composure, and as a result, many "bad" emotions remain bottled up. Never expressed, they can consume you. They consumed me. The consumed me thoroughly until I ended up lying in a fetal position on the driveway at the age of 31, a weeping, screaming, utterly hopeless wreck. In that state, you start to learn that so much that we attach meaning to in life doesn't matter, at all. Being sad or upset or enraged isn't a bad thing. It's who you are. Accept it, roll with it, see where it takes you. If you allow yourself to be pissed off, you might remove your personal taboo about it, which releases its control over you, allowing you to move on.
In my opinion, anything else is a stopgap measure that will alleviate the problems somewhat, but also just bottle them up and eventually make you more and more tense and resentful. The more you try to "fix" problems, the more problems you find to "fix."
This is why so many musicians (and, hell, so much of society) either burn out or are heavily drugged. The situation is too much to cope with when you try to manage everything to perfection. Your brain, evolved on simple things like hunting, gathering, and getting laid, is ill-equipped to handle THAT much cruft, especially as you keep piling baggage higher and deeper.
If you accept how you are and how you feel and where your abilities are at the moment, and do things you truly want to do in the way you want to do them, there's nothing to fix. You can just live.
-Alex
www.mostlydifferent.com
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Author: Jim22
Date: 2012-11-04 20:37
I am also a bullseye pistol shooter, and I get horrible "stage fright" in matches but very relaxed and focused in practice. Nerves absolutely wreck shooting scores, so I definitely try to accept my capabilities and try to "not care" how I shoot.
But, musical performance is not target shooting.
For my music, I try to assume an attitude of professionalism. I am there, I am reasonably well prepared, and my job is to follow the direction of the leader, and do my best to provide entertainment. I am a student/amateur, so my performance is not expected to be perfect. Almost always, the final rehearsals are nearly perfect, much more so than the performance. Also always, I receive nothing but compliments despite my mess-ups.
Be there on time, ready to play, reliably, and do your best under the circumstances. Afterwards, don't dwell on the errors. You are in excellent company.
Jim C.
CT, USA
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Author: gsurosey
Date: 2012-11-07 22:35
Before my short recital performance last spring (Brahm's Sonata #2, 1st Mvt), I played through it with my accompanist about 15 minutes before the performance. It served as a warm-up and a reminder that I had rehearsed the piece well, so I did in fact know what I was about to play. My performance anxiety issues overall have gotten better, but I know they won't totally go away. Just this last week in an orchestra concert, I had to play a couple solos on alto sax and clarinet. We were at least 1/2 a page away from the 1st sax solo and I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I told myself that even if I screw something up, just keep going. I don't play sax as well as I play clarinet, so that's more nerve-wracking for me and definitely contributed to that. At a concert put on by a community group, most of the audience probably doesn't know the music (I bank on that fact). So, if I can cover any mistakes and make it sound like whatever I played is what I meant to play, no one is the wiser and things keep going.
Traceywooo, how much notice did you have before you demonstrated for the beginners? Did you know ahead of time this was going to happen, or was it spur of the moment? I know personally, if I have time to prepare, things aren't quite as bad. Do you ever play on recitals or anything like that? Or play in front of people that you're comfortable with and you trust (friends/family)? Does this happen when you play for your teacher? Does he have any suggestions for you?
One thing that has helped me to deal with the anxiety is to keep doing it. My teacher knows that when he puts in a recital request for me, he puts in a note to put me near the beginning of the program (the recitals have multiple performers and everyone generally plays 1 movement of something, or a short piece). I don't want to go first, but I don't want to be near the end where I have the rest of the recital to get all worked up and freak myself out.
----------
Rachel
Clarinet Stash:
Bb/A: Buffet R13
Eb: Bundy
Bass: Royal Global Max
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Author: FDF
Date: 2012-11-07 23:09
Tracywooo, If you hate playing in front of people don't do it. You can enjoy playing for yourself. Just because you like playing music doesn't mean you must play for anyone other than yourself and those you love and trust.
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Author: hans
Date: 2012-11-08 04:07
The desensitization advice (work up gradually from small audiences to larger ones, do it more until the anxiety diminishes) above should help.
In addition, it may help to avoid caffeine, which has a long half life, for several hours before performing; e.g., no regular coffee, chocolate, tea, colas, etc.
Relaxation techniques such as slow deep breathing with eyes closed while counting backwards slowly from 50 to 0 before performing helps some people.
If all else fails, I understand that some performers use Beta blockers, and that might help to break the anxiety cycle in the short term, but you will need professional medical advice and a prescription for that.
Hans
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Author: bookron ★2017
Date: 2012-11-08 06:55
First: Don't run away from this or it will infect more areas of your life.
Second: The desensitization techniques will work. Start even slower than suggested. Stand in front of a group with your clarinet in hand, but don't play. Just stand there until the adrenaline clears your system. Do that for several days. Then put the clarinet into your mouth, but again, don't play; Just blow warm air through it, so you feel the strength of your breath. Build up very slowly and retrain your body so that it doesn't go into panic response. Concentrate on breathing, of course.
There are good books on this subject. I'm just offering a brief outline of how to begin. I've used the techniques numerous times in my life and have overcome what had been crippling fears. Good luck.
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