 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Ursa
Date: 2011-10-21 18:07
I play a fine Boosey & Hawkes
Its case is a musty ol' box.
But the horn I esteem
Plays quite like a dream
Its tone really knocks off my socks...
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Author: davyd
Date: 2011-10-21 18:22
I play on a student Buffet
When clarinet parts I essay
While on concert stages
I read off the pages
A composer's fine thougts for to say
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Author: DNBoone
Date: 2011-10-21 19:42
Springs, posts, and screws,
always make me blue
Swedging, Corks, and pads,
continue to drive me mad.
Oh why don't you just work?
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Author: Ursa
Date: 2011-10-21 20:06
Pity my poor Pan American
Its soft metal keys are wearing thin
But for Jazz it's quite good--
yea, better than wood--
so I'll get the works swedged yet again.
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Author: johng ★2017
Date: 2011-10-21 20:23
wet blanketed
John Gibson, Founder of JB Linear Music, www.music4woodwinds.com
Post Edited (2011-10-22 22:42)
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Author: FDF
Date: 2011-10-22 00:48
I play music on a Selmer CT
That my parent’s bought expressly for me.
If I play the classics or a march,
Or jazz for a lark,
Their gift is what made it be.
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Author: Maria P
Date: 2011-10-22 01:11
Just lately I had a lot of spare time
So I'm returning to play at 39
For now I'm not pro
and a 'Sonata' I blow
But for my 40th a Yamaha 450 will be fine
Maria
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Author: JJAlbrecht
Date: 2011-10-22 02:08
I love my Backun by Leblanc
The instrument's built like a tank
The barrels and bell look so good
With their beautiful wood
And perfect intonation, many thanks!
Jeff
“Everyone discovers their own way of destroying themselves, and some people choose the clarinet.” Kalman Opperman, 1919-2010
"A drummer is a musician's best friend."
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Author: Bob Phillips
Date: 2011-10-22 05:49
I'll write a sonnet for Morri
For two Moba, in blackwood
So I don't look like a geek
Keys in black nickle will look good
A $20K pair that won't squeak.
Really, folks why the odes to Morri?
Bob Phillips
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Author: clarinetguy ★2017
Date: 2011-10-22 17:53
I didn't write this, but I saw it once on a college practice room wall:
I am tired, older than my years,
Thinking of the times I've had to fight back the tears,
For a love I never had,
And my composition which was bad.
Underneath, someone added the words, "How sad."
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Author: MarlboroughMan
Date: 2011-10-22 19:19
SONNET FOR THE BBOARD
Alas, those on the Board would set their hand
To matters more poetical, and try
By measured feet, to name their favorite brand:
The one that best enables them to fly
To heights incredible. But stay: they know
Not how they lay the garden path with nails,
All jagged are their numbers while they show
Contempt for meter. Where our thoughts should stroll
With pleasure down a predetermined road,
We find the signs removed, the pavement gone!
A clarinet would sound more like a toad
Were its bore like these pulseless verses drawn !
(If you would write a sonnet or a lim’rick,
Please know the rules and try to be more metric. )
[with apologies to those who do ]
Eric
******************************
The Jazz Clarinet
http://thejazzclarinet.blogspot.com/
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Author: FDF
Date: 2011-10-22 21:52
There once was a clarinetist from Nantucket
Whose audience said, “ You suck it!”
When he made a chromatic run
They chased him with a gun.
So, he finally gave up and said…. “gee whiz!”
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Author: C.Elizabeth07
Date: 2011-10-23 18:21
I play my Buffet night and day,
To try to get jobs that will pay,
For my folks its a bother
and they would much rather
me find my own place right away.
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Author: bradfordlloyd
Date: 2011-10-23 20:07
The eefer I play is Couesnon
It's a joy to play altissimo
To get good intonation
Requires determination
Or it squeaks and it squeals, dontcha know
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Author: Mary Jo
Date: 2011-10-24 11:41
Ebony grained wood
Crafted for soft melody
Notes soar like free birds.
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Author: clarnibass
Date: 2011-10-24 13:11
Some time ago there was a poetry competition on this forum and I wrote this rap song:
Flat when it's cold, sharp when it's hot,
No matter since the wood already started to rot.
Your reed is too soft, your reed is too hard,
Your tone sucks regardless and it's not avant garde.
Blow air through one end, out the other comes spit,
But does it really matter if you sound like ****
Gotta have a mouthpiece with a beak shaped like a duck,
Don't matter anyway, cuz who gives a....
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Author: Hank Lehrer
Date: 2011-10-25 11:13
Come on GBK, you are the master at limericks! My modest attempts pale when you launch one.
HRL
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Author: GBK
Date: 2011-10-25 16:01
HRL wrote:
> Come on GBK, you are the master at limericks!
> My modest attempts pale when you launch one
With price tags that will make you swoon,
New barrels and bells by Backun.
They claim to fix tuning,
With no cutting or pruning.
The cost? Like 3 weeks in Cancun
I'm not rich like an oil tycoon,
And I hate to be so picayune.
But when friends spend their loot,
It's so hard to refute,
The claims made by Morrie Backun
I met a young man, just last June.
He told me about his bassoon.
He was very vocal,
'Bout his gold plated bocal.
Claimed EVERYTHING now played in tune.
You don't have to be Daniel Boone,
To scout out some rhymes for Backun.
I take pencil or pen,
Snack on rock cornish hen,
And write by the light of the moon
...GBK (who happily uses Backun MOBA barrels)
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Author: FDF
Date: 2011-10-25 22:19
From wikipedia
The following example of a limerick is of unknown origin.
The limerick* packs laughs anatomical *(pronounced "lim'rick" to preserve meter)
In space that is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
Hats off to GBK for creating four rhyming, metrical limericks in a row to create a unified whole. Well done!
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Author: JEG ★2017
Date: 2011-10-26 00:14
My A and B-flat are Buffet.
My E-flat is also that way.
But Selmer's my bass;
It's really an ace!
So for now that's the way things will stay.
My Selmer's an old 33
And is such a good buddy to me.
To its range I attest
With a definite "Yes!"
When someone asks, "Say, can you C?"
I'm not a great fan of the eefer.
To me it's a bringer of griefer.
But it could be much worse
Than 3rd in Mahler's First.
Where playing the eefer is briefer.
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Author: Carol Dutcher
Date: 2011-10-26 01:21
A clarinet professor from Leeds
obsessed over all of her reeds.
She gave many a lecture
On size, shape and texture.
Cane shavings covered her tweeds.
##
A clarinet jazz man named Dunn
Shot a hole in his horn just for fun.
He explained to the press,
I know it's a mess,
But I can't play the son of a gun.
##
The last one is X-rated and I would get kicked off the board.
Carol
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Author: GBK
Date: 2011-10-26 01:36
Hank Lehrer wrote:
> JEG, I think that GBK may have some competition down the road.
JEG and I actually know each other and have played concerts together. He's a fine clarinetist and a gifted bass clarinet player.
Yeah ... and he writes good limericks, too.
...GBK
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Author: Bob Bernardo
Date: 2011-10-26 02:33
I'm sitting here reading and I can't think of a thing to say, other then I'm having a blast reading all of these! Lots of fun!
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