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Author: DavidBlumberg
Date: 2011-01-18 17:09
This joke was from David Hite 1/21/99
Subject: Now you're Faculty!
One day while walking downtown, a musicologist was hit by a bus and
was tragically killed. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met
at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in
though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've
never once had a musicologist make it this far and we're not really sure
what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in" said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going
to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can
choose where you want to spend eternity" the Saint replied.
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind.....I prefer to stay in
Heaven".
"Sorry, we have rules....." And with that St. Peter put the
scholar in an elevator and it went down-down-down to Hell. The doors
opened and the musicologist found herself stepping out into a beautiful
seminar room. Down the hall was a lavishly appointed lounge, complete
with a small but useful reference library. Standing in front of her
were all her former colleagues, a veritable Who's Who of the historian
world,
all cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and
they talked about old times. They had marvelous historical discussions
trashing post-modernism, and then retired to the faculty club for an
excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil, who was actually
a really nice guy. And although he was a theorist, he showed a real
interest in her work. They talked and joked into the wee hours of the
morning. The musicologist was having such a good time that before she
knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved
good-bye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and
opened back up at the Pearly Gates where St. Peter was waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven" he said. So the
musicologist spent the next 24 hours lounging around on the clouds and
playing the
harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it, her 24
hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day
in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your
eternity" he said. The musicologist paused for a second and then
replied, "well, I never thought I'd say this. I mean, Heaven has been
really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again the scholar
went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator
opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in
garbage and filth. She saw that her colleagues were dressed in rags
and were picking up garbage and putting it in sacks for the evening
meal.
They barely paused in their work long enough to grumble and tell her
that they thought her research was second rate. The Devil came up to her
and put his arm around her and laughed at her. "I don't understand,"
stammered the musicologist, "yesterday I was here and there was a
library and a faculty club and we ate lobster and we talked about my
research and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage
and all my colleagues look miserable and hate me." The Devil looked at
her and grinned, "that's because yesterday we were interviewing you,
but today you're faculty."
http://www.SkypeClarinetLessons.com
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