 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: runner
Date: 2009-09-07 15:11
Three weeks ago I gave a lesson to a "potential" new clarinet student. He is entering 8th grade and his previous teacher moved to another state.
The mother asked if she could sit in on the lesson. I agreed. I suspected that I was auditioning to see if I was competent . I proceed to assess his strengths and weaknesses and interests (such as trying out for the middle school jazz ensemble).
Needless to say, I got the phone call from the boy's father saying they are "going in a different direction."
I felt hurt.
Question: What do you do if confronted with this situation? I do not want to feel that my 40 years experience didn't make the proper impression on the mom and/or student.
If this occurs again, I think I will ask if they are auditioning for a teacher (when mom wants to sit in on the "first" lesson.) If it appears it is an audition, I will refuse to proceed thus saving everyone concerned time.
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Author: FDF
Date: 2009-09-07 15:25
Maybe you should tell the parents it is OK to set in and that you will be auditioning the student to see if he/she is prepared for your level of instruction. Then, at the audition, explain to the parents what your goals and procedures will be. Above all, don't be upset if the student doesn't want to continue, it is really no reflection on you or your ability as a teacher.
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Author: Mark Charette
Date: 2009-09-07 15:37
runner wrote:
> Needless to say, I got the phone call from the boy's father
> saying they are "going in a different direction."
> I felt hurt.
> Question: What do you do if confronted with this situation?
It's a fact of life - some people are looking for something different than what you have to offer. It's just like interviewing for a new job - something that 20% of the people around me are doing. Even if you've got the experience and are eminently qualified, you're going to get rejected. I just find it strange that this is the 1st time you've encountered it in 40 years!
> I
> do not want to feel that my 40 years experience didn't make the
> proper impression on the mom and/or student.
The "proper" impression? Perhaps that's the problem ...
> If this occurs again, I think I will ask if they are
> auditioning for a teacher (when mom wants to sit in on the
> "first" lesson.) If it appears it is an audition, I will
> refuse to proceed thus saving everyone concerned time.
Why would you not audition a teacher? I audition doctors & lawyers (formally and informally) - if it seems we don't get along, I mosey along and find one I can get along with.
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Author: Nessie1
Date: 2009-09-07 16:37
I have nothing like as much teaching experience as you do but I can understand how you might have felt a bit upset by this experience. However, what I did find in one particular case was that having a pupil for some time (a couple of years or so) whose mother clearly had some kind of underlying misgivings about my skills/methods etc was also a very difficult situation! Eventually the ways parted - as I think I may have said on this board before, the teacher/pupil/parent relationship is, like most relationships, founded on trust and having to deal with someone who does not really have trust in one is perhaps worse than not having the pupil at all! Personally, when I wanted a new pupil I never had much trouble getting one so why waste time struggling with someone like this, although this depends on your area etc.
Good luck.
Vanessa.
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Author: GBK
Date: 2009-09-07 16:51
We ALL get rejections with potential new students and with ones we're currently teaching..
The ones that hurt more are the kids that are doing real well and just
suddenly stop coming to lessons because they've "lost interest"
Could be a million factors - including the parents no longer being able to
afford it.
...GBK
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Author: Jack Kissinger
Date: 2009-09-07 18:11
If I were you, I wouldn't automatically assume that it was the parent that "rejected" you. If the kid "auditioned" other teachers, he may be the one who made the decision.
FWIW, all my daughter's music teachers -- piano, voice and clarinet -- invited my wife and me to sit in on her lessons anytime we wished. They wanted us to know what was going on so that we could help her during the week when she practiced. Until she reached the age and level of experience where she was capable of making her own evaluation of a potential teacher's strengths and weaknesses, if I had taken her to a prospective teacher and the teacher said, "BTW, I don't like having parents sit in on my lessons," the "audition" would have been over.
Best regards,
jnk
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Author: stevensfo
Date: 2009-09-07 18:52
- "I felt hurt." --
I had interviews for jobs that I could do with my eyes closed and didn't get them. I felt very hurt.
-- "I do not want to feel that my 40 years experience didn't make the proper impression on the mom and/or student. " --
I can sympathise and it's probably their loss.
Steve
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Author: Bluesparkle
Date: 2009-09-07 20:44
As a mom who wanted to sit in with my son and his new drum teacher (yes, a sort of audition), I was most impressed when the teacher actually included me in the lesson. As he was teaching, he would stop to explain why he was doing certain things. It was also very helpful for me to know exactly what happens in the lessons so that my son's practice sessions at home made more sense.
With his previous teacher, I never really knew what my son was working on, and I was continually badgering my son as he practiced, "do you know what page to practice?" "is that how the teacher told you to hold the sticks?" "how many times are you supposed to do that part?" "are you learning any songs?" "do you need to memorize that?" By sitting in, I left the lesson knowing exactly what my son was supposed to practice and a little about the specific technique that was being taught.
We know that private lessons are important, but it does put pressure on the monthly budget to pay a teacher. I don't see anything wrong with making sure the lesson is all you think it should be.
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Author: Morrigan
Date: 2009-09-07 22:39
I think that the kid took the easy way out; he chose a teacher who had nothing but praise and you would have made him actually work. We forget how destroying even the tiniest criticism can be on a young player and that all students are perhaps a little more sensitive than we think.
Of course I don't know the demeanour of the potential student or the parent along with everyone else but you!
FWIW, I had a student and his family go away over summer, and they said they'd call me to resume lessons in early September. One could argue that it is still early September but I'm not expecting a call. This kid is 8 years old, just wants to have fun whereas his mother wants him to really learn. I get the feeling the child will get/has got his way and will/has quit the instrument because it is 'too hard'.
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Author: Katrina
Date: 2009-09-08 01:25
There a bazillion reasons that the student may have chosen another path. They may even have quit the instrument!
I offer "trial lessons" if the student isn't sure we'll match up well. I gave one to a talented girl who did not articulate using her tongue. Her tone was spectacular, her fingers flew (she played the third movement of the first Weber concerto) and she was relatively musical and kept decent time.
She mentioned she did not like to work on etudes, and said she had been working on Rubank advanced with her last teacher (who was going on maternity leave) but that she never actually practiced out of that book. I told her that if she studied with me she'd be working out of the Baermann book and the Rose etudes. I said that I'd be happy to work on the literature too, but that the tonguing issue needed more work than a piece would allow. She had a hard time believing she was beyond the Rubank in ability, but I told her I felt we could work on the tonguing more effectively through the Baermann and the Rose. She looked a little overwhelmed and called a couple days later and said she didn't want to study with me.
My ego was sure bruised a little bit because I _know_ I could have helped to improve her playing, but I think additionally she was also looking for an easy way out and a teacher who would have allowed a little more leeway in lesson material. I just don't run that way, so I'm ok...
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Author: Morrigan
Date: 2009-09-08 07:19
Katrina - exactly! Its hard not to feel almost insulted by this however if the student wants the easy way, fine, let them have it their way - they're just not going to make progress and your students may enjoy more success than them in future!
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Author: clarinetguy ★2017
Date: 2009-09-08 12:27
Don't take it personally. The others have raised very good points.
During my years as a band teacher in an urban school district, I taught at various levels. When I taught a combined middle school/elementary schedule, some of my middle school students were students I started. Even if my own students weren't the most advanced, I always made sure they had the proper fundamentals. I also had students who started with other teachers, and I'm sorry to say that many of these kids could barely play their instruments (I'd receive glowing recommendations from their teachers). Music education for them consisted of learning a few songs for a few programs. That's it. The sad part was that these kids were convinced that they were outstanding players. They didn't take kindly--even if it was done in a very friendly way--to a middle school teacher who tried to teach them what whole notes and quarter notes were (most of them didn't know). They resented having to learn to read music (I can't read this if the letter names aren't there!) and play without huffing and puffing through everything (you mean that we really have to tongue?).
In some ways, younger students who have been playing for a year or less are the easiest to teach. As a teacher, you might have to work on changing some of their bad habits, but if you take it slow and don't try to force everything at once, you can usually make some nice progress. Older students, those who have never had private lessons and who have never received much individual attention in a large band class, are often very difficult to teach. They are convinced that they are playing the right way even if their fundamental skills are very poor.
With these kids, you can't change everything at once. They are sometimes agreeable to change, but very often they are not. Often, there just isn't much that you can do.
Post Edited (2009-09-08 13:17)
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Author: graham
Date: 2009-09-08 12:56
Sorry Runner, but you said that you already suspected you were being auditioned but still went ahead with it. If so, why would you now ask them whether it is an audition and then can it if it was? And why, if you suspected it was an audition did you not see a possibility that you might be rejected? After all, the "other teachers" whoever they may have been, might have had good credentials too.
One of my former teachers told every parent requesting private lessons that he gave three trial lessons. If at the end of the trial he thought the pupil was OK (and the parents sufficientkly supportive of hard work) then he accepted the pupil. Parents had a tendency to react by wanting their pupils to be accepted by the teacher.
By the way, did you mention "jazz" or did the pupil mention it? I ask because it could have been the source of a misunderstanding about the "direction" the parents and child were seeking.
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Author: DavidBlumberg
Date: 2009-09-08 18:08
You have to remember that they don't know you. They don't know what you have to offer other than a brief single lesson.
So it doesn't reflect on you at all, just on them and what they think that they want.
Could be someone 22!
It's happened to all of us and I don't let it bother me for a second - their loss.
Tire kickers will do that.
http://www.SkypeClarinetLessons.com
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