Author: mrn
Date: 2009-04-21 22:39
Tony wrote:
<<I think the important thing to guard against -- and I speak from experience here -- is the habit of using that 'we' too much, and too unthinkingly. It may even be meaning 'you and the teacher' in your more forgetful even though loving moments.
The question is, do you want her playing to be 'hers'?>>
That's a very good point. I hadn't realized I was saying that until you pointed it out. Thanks.
I do sit there and listen to her when she practices, and I'll periodically point out things to her that the teacher pointed out in lessons (the teacher has asked me to do this), but as a parent, I try hard not to be a nag about it. If I can see I'm not making headway, I back off pretty quickly because some things are much better heard from the teacher, not me.
Sometimes I've even offered to leave the room and let her practice on her own when she gets frustrated, but she quickly tells me not to--at age 6, I think she prefers I'm there to coach her and give her praise when she makes progress. We clearly haven't hit the teenage years, yet.
So the last thing I want to be is a pushy parent (or to be seen as one by my daughter, so I'm going to be sure to be more careful about my language from now on). Fortunately, as with me and clarinet (I begged my parents for months to buy me one so I could learn to play swing like Benny Goodman), it was her idea to take music lessons to begin with--she came to me and my wife about it one day. And although I take a strong interest in her music education, partly because of my own interest in music, the last thing I want is for her to think that she's doing it for my sake, not simply for her own enjoyment.
The problem here, though, is that it's not just me, it's her teacher who's starting to feel stymied.
Based on everyone's suggestions, maybe the thing to do is have a talk with the teacher about letting her move on to some more challenging material where she (my daughter, that is) will have to fix the problems to get the musical results she wants.
Perhaps the real problem is that the teacher wants to do everything in her preferred order of developmental stages and that just isn't going to work for my daughter. I mean, my clarinet teacher (who didn't have a set syllabus she followed) started me on the Mozart Concerto before I had learned all 12 major scales, and I turned out just fine. Maybe my daughter needs the same sort of thing.
In the meantime, the teacher and I can continue to gently remind her about her wrist and also remind her to take breaks as needed to avoid too much strain on her arm/wrist.
Thanks everyone for their suggestions! (Feel free to add more, though... )
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The Clarinet BBoard
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