 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: tictactux ★2017
Date: 2009-01-28 19:11
My father told me (I was some 9yo then) that Benny Goodman died of tongue cancer...
--
Ben
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Author: skygardener
Date: 2009-01-29 12:33
I think clarinet players have too many health problems to be able to make one up...
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Author: Brenda Siewert
Date: 2009-01-29 13:36
We're subject to thumb stress and carpal tunnel, among other things. I'd never heard the tongue cancer thing, though. Guess it's not a good idea to smoke or chew the clarinet. :(
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Author: kdk
Date: 2009-01-29 15:23
Well, if we really want to invent something, we could spread a report that some herbicides/insecticides used in growing reed cane can leech out of the reed and cause cancer from the tongue and lips all the way down the upper G.I. tract. Or, alternatively, chemicals in the plastic used to make synthetic reeds could be the culprits. It could work either way. Then, think of the possibilities that are presented by all the pressure our abdominal muscles put on other internal organs in the area.
All we need is for someone familiar with the technical/medical jargon to supply the descriptors and coin the new terms. We could all become walking time-bombs (apart from what may sometimes come out of our instruments).
:-)
Karl
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Author: Alseg
Date: 2009-01-29 15:57
Tictactux: It was Jimmy Dorsey who suffered throat cancer. Perhaps your dad had that in mind when he mentioned BG.
Well, we tend to suffer a malocclusion (class I-II) of the teeth.
Then there's that thumb thing.
But far and away the most significant is patellar tendon hypertrohy which occurs when resting the bell of the instrument just cephalad to the knee while counting rests in orchestral music aka Stadler's Syndrome.
Former creator of CUSTOM CLARINET TUNING BARRELS by DR. ALLAN SEGAL
-Where the Sound Matters Most(tm)-
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Author: kdk
Date: 2009-01-29 16:34
"...patellar tendon hypertrohy which occurs when resting the bell of the instrument just cephalad to the knee while counting rests..."
I like that one. What, though, is cephaled to the knee?
Karl
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Author: Alseg
Date: 2009-01-29 17:58
<<What, though, is cephaled to the knee?>>
On the side of the knee closer to the head than the toes. Proximal.
It is med-speak in order to make the hoax syndrome sound more official.
ie...if you are going to tell a lie, make it a whopper.
Former creator of CUSTOM CLARINET TUNING BARRELS by DR. ALLAN SEGAL
-Where the Sound Matters Most(tm)-
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Author: skygardener
Date: 2009-01-31 12:41
How about this...
Lack of salivation during eating- This occurs mainly to clarinetists and saxophonists primarily, but can sometimes affect double reed players as well. It is caused by the mouthpiece being in the mouth so long and so frequently that the involuntary reflex of salivating (when something is places is the mouth) becomes unresponsive. The brain, essentially, stops the association of "thing in mouth"="food" so it stops sending the signals for salivation as it normally should when it actually is time to eat.
This can also be a problem for chain smokers and trained horses.
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Author: stevensfo
Date: 2009-02-02 06:54
Does anyone know about the respiratory inter-boccal neurone disfunction? To a casual observer nothing is wrong, yet on closer examination, the airflow is interrupted.
Apparently caused by pretending to play difficult parts while 'hiding' in the clarinet section.
Steve
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Author: BobD
Date: 2009-02-02 10:30
Yes, I think it's also called "faux play".
Bob Draznik
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Author: Lelia Loban ★2017
Date: 2009-02-02 12:41
And then there's the psychiatric disorder known as Arundodonaxepathy, for which there's no known treatment other than absolute, cold-turkey avoidance of the apparent stimulus. Studies have shown that frequent exposure to reed cane causes this disorder in a significant number of clarinet, oboe, bassoon, shawm, chalumeau and saxophone players, although devotees of the suona seem to be immune, possibly because the shrieking timbre of the sunoa causes a variant of vibro-acoustic disease, manifested by warmongering, before any symptoms of Arundodonaxepathy have time to develop. Bagpipers also appear to be immune, possibly because the mouth does not come in direct contact with the reed during bagpipe playing.
Symptoms of classic Arundodonaxepathy include obsessional fixation on the precise measurements, stability, flexibility and adjustment of reeds. Other symptoms include obsessional collection of a drawerful of allegedly inferior reeds and the frequent voicing of excuses and complaints such as, "Usually I play better than this. I'm having a bad reed day."
Lelia
http://www.scoreexchange.com/profiles/Lelia_Loban
To hear the audio, click on the "Scorch Plug-In" box above the score.
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Author: tictactux ★2017
Date: 2009-02-02 13:24
Lelia Loban wrote:
> Symptoms of classic Arundodonaxepathy include obsessional
> fixation on the precise measurements, stability, flexibility
> and adjustment of reeds. Other symptoms include obsessional
> collection of a drawerful of allegedly inferior reeds and the
> frequent voicing of excuses and complaints such as, "Usually I
> play better than this. I'm having a bad reed day."
Sometimes this obsession is widened towards complete apparatuses and causes the individual to regress into a modern equivalent of the phylogenetic hunter-gatherer state.
--
Ben
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Author: huff n' puff
Date: 2009-02-02 14:12
Hi,
enough of this psychomalogiceautical babble... the real dangers are more down to earth...............HEALTH & SAFETY- BEE-ALERT!!!!!!
I have decided to abandon the "flight of the BumbleBee" since Chris confirmed that my clarinet is made from ABS.
I was prompted to seek out ABS on Wikipedia, to discover that under certain conditions of maltreatment the material is liable to "burst spectacularly into intense hot flames".
Shame, really- I had just got the first three notes up to speed....... H&P.
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