 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Cass Tech
Date: 2007-12-07 14:25
This thread is borrowed from violinist.com.
A violin teacher's young student called her and cancelled his lesson because he had broken his arm. A week later she ran into the student (no cast on arm) and his mother. The mother urged her son to explain his absence to the teacher. He told her that he had gone to church and prayed to god that his arm would be healed, and lo and behold, it had been healed. This was my addition to the thread:
The next time you see the kid and his mom, tell them that god appeared to you in a celestial vision and she commanded you to double the hourly fee for the kid's lesson. Next Satan appeared to you in the guise of Paganini, played the entire Caprices at supersonic speed, and then threatened you with eternal damnation if you ever gave that little brat another violin lesson.
Cass Tech (aka leatherlip)
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Author: MichaelR
Date: 2007-12-07 15:02
This is truly an amazing story. The mother's participation and the miracle cure leave me speechless. For quick access the tale and follow up is at http://www.violinist.com/discussion/response.cfm?ID=3892
For clarinet content my most embarrassing excuse was not having my wallet containing my drivers license so I could drive to the lesson. I commute by bicycle and had left my wallet in my pants at work. By the time I discovered the problem a bike trip to the lesson would have occupied most of the lesson time. My monstrously accommodating teacher rescheduled.
--
Michael of Portland, OR
Be Appropriate and Follow Your Curiosity
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Author: DavidBlumberg
Date: 2007-12-07 18:47
Theres actually a whole book devoted to excuses for missing a music lesson. Don't remember the title off hand, but I'll try to find it (I have it somewhere, used to have it on my coffee table for students parents to read, but then thought about that.....)
http://www.SkypeClarinetLessons.com
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Author: Alseg
Date: 2007-12-07 19:56
The dog ate my reeds.
Or another variation:
My sister sat on my clarinet and broke it
Former creator of CUSTOM CLARINET TUNING BARRELS by DR. ALLAN SEGAL
-Where the Sound Matters Most(tm)-
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Author: JJAlbrecht
Date: 2007-12-07 19:56
Was it a "Basset Hound?" 
Jeff
“Everyone discovers their own way of destroying themselves, and some people choose the clarinet.” Kalman Opperman, 1919-2010
"A drummer is a musician's best friend."
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Author: GBK
Date: 2007-12-07 20:05
"..My mother ran over my clarinet with the car..."
(After playing outdoors, never leave your clarinet on the driveway)
...GBK
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Author: Firebird
Date: 2007-12-08 03:18
Mine might sound lame, but here goes:
There was a period of time I had to play Eb in addition to Bb/A, so I left home, boarded the train, half way through, took out my scores to study them, and I realised I was supposed to bring the Bb/A not Eb, and so I conveniently missed that one.
Chan
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Author: Chris Hill
Date: 2007-12-08 04:03
I had a member of the professional band I conduct have to miss rehearsal because she got bitten on the thumb by an iguana. (She was a zookeeper in her day job.)
Chris
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Author: skygardener
Date: 2007-12-08 04:22
In North NJ, I once was 2 hours late for a lesson. I left my home in time to make the 40 minute drive.
The problem was traffic related eventhough the cars were all moving smoothly. I tried to get in the exit lane and no one would let me in. I had to take the nex exit (5 minutes later) and turn around. Coming back, no one would let me in. Traffic was getting a bit slower. Turned around at the next exit (10 minutes later). Now I had come full circle and again I could not get off at the exit I wanted (I am not a native NJ driver and I am not willing to risk my life to change lanes).
This happened a total of 3-4 full passes over the same stretch of road.
My teacher was not happy.
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Author: nielsen57
Date: 2007-12-08 04:43
My last semester of my senior year in college, I missed two lessons because I overslept. My lesson time? 11 am. My excuse? Senioritis, obviously. My teacher still gave me an A...no idea why.
meg
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Author: D
Date: 2007-12-08 12:54
I once missed a violin lesson because I pulled a muscle in my back and couldn't lift my arms hardly at all for about a week. The teacher was livid, despite the fact that I went to see her in person first thing that morning (school peri teacher so no other way to get in touch) and she got paid whether we turned up or not. She was a bit of a cow on the best of days, but that was really the final straw. Pretty much put paid to the violin she did. I don't know what it was but I had two appalling violin teachers and no good ones. Is the violin cursed?
One teacher missed a lesson with me because he just had a baby.....now that takes real talent!
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Author: Alexis
Date: 2007-12-08 12:55
I had one student tell me she couldn't practice because she bought a pony
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Author: leonardA
Date: 2007-12-08 19:06
I went to a lesson recently and when I arrived in the parking lot I realized that I had left my clarinet at home.
Leonard
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Author: coasten1
Date: 2007-12-20 17:34
I walked in the room for my lesson and told my teacher to wait a few minutes. I grabbed my work laptop bag out of the car instead of my clarinet bag. It was dark and the bags look similar and weighed about the same.
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Author: OmarHo
Date: 2007-12-20 20:59
I had a lesson at like 5:30 pm and the day was looking busy-free so I decided to take transit bus to my lesson in an effort to help reduce my CO2 emissions...But the bus times and my lesson time mixed me up and I caught the bus that left at 5:30pm..when I was already supposed to be there...
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Author: cigleris
Date: 2007-12-20 22:23
I missed a lesson at the Conservatoire cause i double booked myself. So to get back at me (i think), my teacher put in a time early in the morning the day after my final recital knowing full well i'd be hungover. I turned up to that lesson but had the shakes and the worse headache and could not for the life of me play the opening of the Copland Concerto. He just sat in his chair and laughed.
Peter Cigleris
Post Edited (2007-12-20 22:25)
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Author: Noqu
Date: 2007-12-21 12:53
Just to add one the other way round: My clarinet teacher was (very) pregnant, and she told me that "next week we will probably have to skip the lesson on Wednesday because that is the expected birth date for my baby". But then she phoned me on Tuesday and said "it will probably be another few days, so just come anyway". I call that a really passionate teacher ...
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Author: alpharettablue
Date: 2007-12-21 15:41
I have two involving my own daughter.
Once we got in the car and drove an hour to her lesson. Once we got there we discovered she had no shoes to put on to go in.
Another time we had shoes, we grabbed the clarinet case. Once there we discovered there was no clarinet in the case.
Fortunately her teacher has a good sense of humor!
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Author: RodRubber
Date: 2007-12-22 01:59
Here is a funny one i got, and from an advanced student!
...My mom owes me $100, she said i can have either the lesson, or the money, so i took the money...see you in two weeks...!!
smart kid, stupid mom
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Author: Chris P
Date: 2007-12-22 22:52
How about "Oh right, clarinet. But I can't play the clarinet!"
Kinda like when I was given a Janet & John book when I was four, and I said (to try and get out of it) 'but I can't read!' completely defeating the object.
Still amazes me how the rest of the kids all knew their Hail Marys, Our Fathers and Glory Bes word perfect at that age, but couldn't even read 'This is Janet, this is John' for toffee.
And there I was thinking I was thick.
Former oboe finisher
Howarth of London
1998 - 2010
Independent Woodwind Repair Specialist
Oboes, Clarinets and Saxes
NOT A MEMBER OF N.A.M.I.R.
The opinions I express are my own.
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Author: Katelyn
Date: 2007-12-22 23:57
I know EXACTLY what you mean, Chris P.
One week I remember walking across campus to my lesson, trying to decide whether to think up of some excuse for not practicing or to rely on my meager sight reading skills. When I got to the door my my lesson room, there was a note from my professor stating that she had been needed to fill in last minute for a performing group in Gettysburg. Needless to say, the amount I put in the collection at church that weekend doubled. ;-)
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