 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: diz
Date: 2007-12-20 03:19
A violinist was auditioning for the Halle orchestra in England. After his audition he was talking with the conductor. "What do you think about Brahms?" asked the conductor.
"Ah..." the violinist replied, "Brahms is a great guy! Really talented musician. In fact he and I were just playing some duets together last week."
The conductor was impressed. "And what do you think of Mozart?" he asked him.
"Oh he's really nice, I had dinner with him last week." Replied the violinist. Then the violinist looked at his watch and said he had to leave to catch the 1.30 train to London.
Afterwards, the conductor was discussing him with the board members. He said he felt very uneasy about hiring this violinist, because there seemed to be a serious credibility gap. The conductor knew for certain that there was no 1.30 train to London.
Without music, the world would be grey, very grey.
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Author: BobD
Date: 2007-12-20 15:55
Your humour does not go unappreciated,diz. Happy,Happy.
Bob Draznik
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Author: EuGeneSee
Date: 2007-12-20 16:51
I'm suspicious . . . I have always heard that Mozart preferred to dine alone.
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Author: tictactux ★2017
Date: 2007-12-20 17:05
EuGeneSee wrote:
> I'm suspicious . . . I have always heard that Mozart preferred
> to dine alone.
Given his table manners, I wouldn't be surprised.
--
Ben
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Author: Alphie
Date: 2007-12-20 18:58
Why did he have to be so picky? There is another train leaving Piccadilly station to London Euston at 1:45
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Author: brycon
Date: 2007-12-20 22:28
The last chair violist in the Alabama Symphony discovers a magic lamp one day following rehearsal. After rubbing the lamp a genie appears, and he tells the violist that he will grant three wishes.
For the first wish the violist asks to be able to play 100 times better. The wish comes true, and the violist is now principal in the Alabama Symphony.
For the second wish the violist asks to be able to play 100 times better yet again. The wish comes true, and now the violist is principal in the New York Philharmonic.
For the final wish the violist asks to be able to play 100 times better. The wish comes true, and now the violist is last desk second violin in the Alabama Symphony.
(I don't want to offend anyone with the Alabama Symphony reference- I'm sure they are pretty good. That's just how I heard the joke.)
Post Edited (2007-12-20 22:29)
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Author: DavidBlumberg
Date: 2007-12-23 14:54
A violist finds a magic lamp. He rubs it and a Genie comes out and says "thank you for freeing me, I now must grant you 3 wishes". So the guy thinks for a second or two (not three as violists can't concentrate that long) and says "ok, firstly I want to be massively rich". The genie grants him that wish. "secondly I want my mother to have a really nice home". The Genie grants him his wish. And lastly I want peace "here", and he hands the Genie a map of the Middle East. The Genie replies, well, I can't really do that, there's been problems there for thousands of years and probably will for many thousands more. What can I do for you instead? So the guy says "ok, then make me a Viola that will play in tune better".
The Genie thinks for a bit and replies:
"could I see that map again?"
http://www.SkypeClarinetLessons.com
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