 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: diz
Date: 2007-12-13 22:11
I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone.
So I met with my attorney, and on her advice (and after $399 in consultation fees and numerous drafts) I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral, celebration of the season solstice holiday practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008 but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Australia great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "Australia" in the western hemisphere) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting whichever comes first and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher...
But SERIOUSLY - it's been a while since I posted and wanted to say hi to all my old friends
diz
Without music, the world would be grey, very grey.
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Author: sfalexi
Date: 2007-12-14 02:33
I noticed you hadn't been around for a while. Glad to have you and your expertise back. Definitely read and enjoyed all your old posts.
Alexi
PS - Oh yes. And a very merry christmas to you too . . . . I mean . . . . greatest wishes and . . . and . . . oh well. please don't sue.
US Army Japan Band
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Author: Tom A
Date: 2007-12-14 04:18
Hey Diz, good to hear you're still alive, or at least that the franchise continues.
You were lucky to get that greeting drawn up without too much legalese. To paraphrase the late Brant Parker, "whereupons" are ten dollars each, "heretofores" are fifteen dollars apiece, and "notwithstandings" are three for twenty dollars.
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Author: FDF
Date: 2007-12-14 23:59
A healthy and happy holiday, centered round the winter solstice, to you too. May your celebration of the season finality be festive and merry, and may you have a successful New Year!
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Author: OmarHo
Date: 2007-12-15 00:20
Thanks. I hope everyone has a nice holiday, and relaxes from our "complicated and busy world". I
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Author: diz
Date: 2007-12-16 20:13
Alexi - yeah - sometimes you just need to back off bulletin boards and enter the real world (at least that's my excuse). Thanks for your sentiments.
Without music, the world would be grey, very grey.
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Author: EuGeneSee
Date: 2007-12-16 20:45
. . . and an "Inasmuch" costs only a buck-two ninety-eight, plus they are available as a baker's dozen.
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