 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Eileen
Date: 2006-07-21 18:16
I have a community group headache. Our small community orchestra is a fledgling group of about 25 members. The director who founded the group a few years ago recently departed and we found a new director. I was one of a handful of people who was most involved in keeping the group going.
Unfortunately, one of the other members who was very involved in the organizational work has gone off the deep end. She takes everything way too seriously and has delusions of grandeur about herself and the group. She criticizes everyone else for the slightest thing yet howls with fury if anyone says anything remotely critical of her (pointing out a typo, for instance). Many in the group have expressed concern that she will drive new members away. She tries to show off to the new director (like a teacher's pet on speed) and has become irrationally jealous if she finds out that I spoke to the director without her. She has fixated on me personally as her perceived nemesis and has sent out ranting emails trashing me. Obviously this person has issues well beyond the parameters of this community group.
All of this has been a source of incredible stress in an organization which is supposed to be fun. I have a good relationship with others in the orchestra and with the director. The director is not much help in this situation. He is a very sweet, easy-going type who avoids conflict.
I am an attorney and of course the legal response springs first to mind. I have drafted by-laws for the group to elect officers and I have tried to add some structures which might help contain the difficult person.
Does anyone have any other suggestions for how to deal with an incredibly difficult person in a community group?
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Author: leonardA
Date: 2006-07-21 19:26
My sympathy. I am the President of a small community band and also an attorney. We had a member like you described who used to storm out over the least little thing and finally quit. We in our bylaws provide that any member can be dismissed by a vote of the board "for cause cosistent with the best interest of the organization, but only after notice and hearing." We have never had to use this, but I would not hesitate to do so. We also provide that a member can be dsmissed for failure to comply with any rules and regulations of the band. While we do not have any written rules or regulations, I would think that failure to maintain order during rehearsals could be such an infraction, especially if the director requests that people conduct themselves in an orderly manner. If you would like to see a copy of our bylaws, you may email me at alterlaw@bellsouth.net and tell me where to send them.
Good luck.
Leonard
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Author: Lobo
Date: 2006-07-21 19:52
That type of person pops up everywhere.
The ranting e-mails trashing you only make this other person look bad to everyone, with a potentially positive reflection on you. ("What's all this garbage about Eileen? I've never known her to be anything but good and decent!)
Is the director impressed by the wannabe teacher's pet? I strongly doubt it. I don't know his/her background, but if he/she has conducted other groups, he/she has probably seen it all before.
I'm assuming that there is no one in the group who is good enough friends with this person to discuss this with her in a friendly and helpful manner.
I think the best approach to a person like this is to show no reaction when she is ranting and then just walk away without comment. Or, if criticized, just say "You're right. I'm not perfect, but I'm working on being a better person and player." Or, "Thank you for the advice. I'll check to see if the conductor agrees with you," which, now that I think about it, might be a great response because it tells her that if she criticizes you, you are going to approach the director, which she doesn't like. Always be gracious.
I think that your major concern is having new members driven away, which very well may happen. If people don't enjoy coming to rehearsal, they won't do it. Try to make them as welcome as possible and give them the feeling that their musical contribution is appreciated.
By the way, bylaws and an elected board of directors is good for most any group. If they are adopted by the majority, one has little room to argue that they were the product of a single person and no single person can usurp authority.
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Author: Don Berger
Date: 2006-07-21 21:02
Hi Eileen - You have my [our] sympathies with the struggle to keep a volunteer organization alive and growing. We went thru periods of disagreement/disorganization, near collapse, for about 10-15 years on converting a dying concert band into a thriving [small/local] symphony orch, with very little money for music, insts etc, except for a corporate [reluctrant at times] sympathetic sponsor. Badly needing a skillful musician as conductor [we also made him musical director !], we found a recent CA music school graduate, hired him [a pittance!], and with his skills, we blossomed, in some 10 years, into a fine symp orch, hiring pro musicians as needed from an AFM local. It did cost me my clarinet/oboe chairs, but the results speak for themselves, I'm happy to continue as a sponser/promoter, and, in retirement, pleasurably view the success our earlier efforts have achieved. It may be a "rough go", but stay with it, its worthwhile. Don
Thanx, Mark, Don
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Author: ken
Date: 2006-07-22 03:10
In a small volunteer community band where "music suffers" due to unstable people and preventable circumstances steps must be taken to preserve group musical health and future. It's a big enough challenge getting people to commit and consistently attend rehearsals not alone show up for gigs. And, at an amateur level, musicians need more time acclimating to one other in order to "play well" together and establish continuity.
A couple possible solutions come to mind. 1) Not only publish bylaws that encompass voting privileges but slip it into a new member "welcome package" (create one if you don't have it) and require it be receipt acknowledged. As far as CYA language and where applicable, write the clause tag "or as determined by the conductor, or at the Conductor's discretion." Those lines are wide open and subjective; statements you can interpretively drive a truck through. 2) Commission a Board of Music Elders chaired by the Conductor and made up of Principal players (or Administrative Board, consisting of Treasurer, Head Librarian, Composer/Arranger, Copyist, Operations Director, etc.)
Begin the unpleasant task of setting her up to railroad out. Draw up detached, "just the facts" memos of every contradictory incident this woman is party to, and build a supporting case. You could implement a 3 strike and you're out policy. When you feel you've collected enough dirt (I would think the hostile and aggressive email warrants a stern warning in itself,) have the Conductor call a Board meeting and have this lady attend. Set up chairs in a tight circle and take good meeting minutes. Toward the end of the agenda, or when appropriate have a representative firmly but fairly go through the memos one by one and give her an ultimatum; either tone it down and shape up or you'll be voted out and asked to leave. Always, the bigger and more thorough the paper trail, the better your chance of success.
v/r Ken
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Author: Merlin
Date: 2006-07-22 14:00
ken wrote:
> Begin the unpleasant task of setting her up to railroad out.
> Draw up detached, "just the facts" memos of every contradictory
> incident this woman is party to, and build a supporting case.
> You could implement a 3 strike and you're out policy. When you
> feel you've collected enough dirt (I would think the hostile
> and aggressive email warrants a stern warning in itself,) have
> the Conductor call a Board meeting and have this lady attend.
> Set up chairs in a tight circle and take good meeting minutes.
> Toward the end of the agenda, or when appropriate have a
> representative firmly but fairly go through the memos one by
> one and give her an ultimatum; either tone it down and shape up
> or you'll be voted out and asked to leave. Always, the bigger
> and more thorough the paper trail, the better your chance of
> success.
In most bands I've played in, the Conductor is not the head of the board, and therefore, not the person who calls meetings. The President is. The Conductor is a voting member, and is in charge of all things musical, but not in charge of operations, logistics or governance.
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Author: rgames
Date: 2006-07-22 19:01
Eileen,
The comments above are all very good advice. I would also add that most moderately sized organizations (music or otherwise) have at least one of this personality type in it. It's a fact of life when dealing with groups of people and most folks generally accept it - I seriously doubt she'll drive people away.
I am a firm believer that dissention fuels progress, particularly in the arts. Think about it - tension and resolution are at the heart of almost all good music. The same holds true for groups of people: if there's no tension, there's no resolution, and there's no progression. So to try to set up an organization with an absence of tension is really a bad idea if you want the organization to progress. Maybe the problem person is the one who is providing that motion for the group - would it exist without her?
Your description is of someone who is a pain in the butt, to be sure, but I would not use that as a criterion to judge her merit as a member of the group. Remember, groupthink is much more detrimental to an organization than a few high-maintenance members.
How's that for a different perspective?
rgames
____________________________
Richard G. Ames
Composer - Arranger - Producer
www.rgamesmusic.com
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Author: Brenda Siewert
Date: 2006-07-22 19:57
I debated over whether or not to chime into this discussion, but obviously I decided to put in a comment. I've played in a community band for over 10 years. I also play in an orchestra overseas that is both professional and volunteer (the volunteers are pros for the most part) one month out of the year. The community situation is so different from the professional one--needless to say. The pros can get fired at the drop of a hat, but the community, all volunteer organization is subject to its members and by-laws. We have had temper tantrums and poor players who hogged the solos and mediocre performances and the whole ball of wax. The bottom line is, if the majority of the members are unwilling to do something about a bad situation you have no choice but to put up with it until that person dies or moves away or gives up whatever it is they get out of what they're doing. We have a solo player right now who really, really, really needs to step down and no one will say anything to her. Several people have spoken to the director numerous times and he refuses to do anything about it. For myself I've decided to continue playing just because it is a good outlet for a once a week play-time and keeps me reading and helps me to improve as a player so I'm ready for my overseas job and other opportunities that come along through the year. But, if it gets to the point that it is more miserable to stay than to endure, I'll leave. After 25 years this group isn't going to change and I'm fine with that. They're all good people who just enjoy getting together and playing. A shame they won't strive toward better performances because there are many, many excellent players in the band. I do enjoy being with them.
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Author: allencole
Date: 2006-07-23 03:12
I've been involved in a number of situations in which a group is trying to tiptoe around an arrogant and/or inept member. Nothing good ever comes of it. You need to have a group that people want to hear, and one that people want to join.
Most of what's been said here about documenting problems is really on the mark IMO. Problems are going to have to be dealt with, and you're going to have to convince the membership (and possibly yourself) that you've done all you can before taking more drastic action.
Good luck to all involved in these situations, and congratulations for having the loyalty and fortitude not to walk out yourselves.
Allen Cole
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Author: Hank Lehrer
Date: 2006-07-23 12:55
Hi,
I left a local community band this past year. I played with this group off-and-on for several years but finally could not justify or rationalize staying any longer.
The problems included: poor players that did not try to improve, faulty director control of the rehearsal, inattentiveness by the band to the director's direction (playing/talking), a general lack of excitement in just about everything, the control of the "old guard" of solos, seats, etc. I guess it's true what they say about a leopard's spots so I knew the group was not going to change. I was not willing to lower my standards.
So I wrote a very nice note to the director and left. I'm much happier and do not miss the group in the least. BTW, I had several other playing outlets that were much more satisfying. However, I must drive a little further but I am very happy with my decision.
HRL
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Author: marzi
Date: 2006-07-23 13:03
AHa, Brenda,
the same people hogging solos and sections,, now thats a good subject , we have the same guys in one of our summer groups that refuse to aknowledge that anyone else could ever possibly play them. they are great in their own minds, but no matter, they will never share solos or even let someone else try it at rehearsal. we have an excellent student that i had to "push" into their section,who i know can play the stuff,because in my opinion(and others in the section) its time they did share, but will they let her have a go at it even with the directors hints, heck no, its all them and they would never believe otherwise. in another band, heaven forbid if anyone plays the third section , whoever heard of 3 firsts,(and the first chair is pretty poor) 1 second and no thirds, except when i have time to show up, which is never now,and the clarinet numbers keep shrinking for some odd reason... in our orchestra , we try to share solos if there are takers...but then you have to be careful not to pressure someone too much and scare them away!
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Author: BobD
Date: 2006-07-25 18:01
I left a Community Band in the past year also strictly because of two members...the Director and a First Chair.....who didn't have adequate people sense. Coping with them was not on my agenda. Prudence suggests I not comment on the need for lawyers' expertise in Community Bands.
Bob Draznik
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