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Author: Nicole Y.
Date: 2000-03-01 20:16
Okay, I have not mentioned this yet, but my band sure knows. My band class is basically like a study hall. We don't do anything. When we are given music, it is beginner's. We were the best band class to come out of my middle school and then after we got into high school we weren't challenged and usually we don't play. Needless to say our playing ability has not excelled, rather it has fallen. We are losely chaired. The really good clarinet sit on one end and the ones that need more improvement on the other. I was, undoubtedly, first chair. Everyone admited that. My band director admited that. And then I got braces and I couldn't play for about 2 weeks and it was just bad. Now, I still haven't got my tone back but my technical ability is still there. The problem is that I no longer have the support of my classmates. The 2nd chair is one of my friends, but I know I'm better...it's just that right now her tone is better than mine. Although it is not a consensus, one of the clarinetists *she's 4th or 5th chair* has blatantly been going around putting me down. She refuses to let me sit where I usually sit, at the end of the row. I don't feel like I'm good enough to play anymore. I don't even really like playing anymore. My band class wasn't the best to begin with, but it was bearable until now. I am even thinking about quitting next year. One of my dearest friends, who is a drummer, doesn't want me to. I was being considered to be section leader as a sophmore, and he doesn't think I should give that up. I am going to take private lessons from the first chair of the Savannah Orchestra, so I don't feel like I'm losing much. I told my band director and he said he didn't care, it was up to me. The loss of support...well...it is just one or two clarinetists...my friend the drummer went around and polled and he found out that everyone else including the 2nd chair clarinet thought I was best...well those 2 putting me down has really gotten to me. It is so bad I want to quit. What do you think? Am I making a rash step?
The Freshman,
Nicole Y.
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Author: Dee
Date: 2000-03-01 20:44
Nicole,
Throughout your life you will find jealous people putting you down. Ignore them and *DO NOT* let them control your life. It's their goal in life to control people. If you quit, they have gotten what they want, they will have won. Should you quit, you will be letting down yourself and the other members of the band.
You are a nice young lady. You are sensitive to the feelings of others, which is a very good thing. But there is a disadvantage too. You suffer more from the put downs, etc of people who are not so nice. It takes time but try to learn to be strong enough to deal with things like this without losing your own good qualities.
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Author: paul
Date: 2000-03-01 21:33
Life is very competitive nowadays. Just wait until you face the "real world" of back stabbing inner office politics from the corporate boardroom down to the water cooler. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there. Get used to the abuse and learn how to handle it in a positive manner. The true winner is a person who lets this stuff slide off their back, like water on a duck. Don't let any of it stick to you. Keep on working very hard to be your personal very best and ignore the other folks who thrive on putting their peers down.
As for competitive life in band or any other musical endeavor, this is almost as grueling as sports. UIL competitions in our State have been absolutely nuts for decades. From what I heard from my pro tutor, professional life is even more intense. The stress from your peers never ceases. It's a fact of life, so adapt and adjust.
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Author: Nicole Y.
Date: 2000-03-01 22:13
Thanx. I have heard the same thing from my boyfriend and my other friends but I needed to hear it again. I think I'll stay and prove why I am known as 1st chair.
The Freshman,
Nicole Y.
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Author: Kontragirl
Date: 2000-03-01 22:56
I am going through this too. Yes, even me, a single person section. A trumpet player keeps claiming that low reeds are really easy and she's going to switch, even though she's never played one. Another girl (last chair clarinet) claims I'm terrible, and she should get to play contra. Every where I turn, someone is trying to kick me out of my spotlight.
I hear "you switched because you're horrible at clarinet." "you just switched to get attention." I hear every discouraging thing a person can hear. All of it to my face, or loudly when I'm standing around.
I'm getting really off topic, but what I'm trying to say, is you're stuck in the same rut as I am. Being first chair is just as big of a spotlight as being a single person section. People will always try to knock you off your throne. Do you want to know how many times I've thought about switching back?
I've lost count of how many times I've asked myself if I should go back. I keep telling myself, I won't switch unless my band director asks me to. If I did, the people that claim they would be so much better than me would win. One of them would get to play contra.
I'm sure you are a very talented player, I like to think I am. Fifth chair is no competition for you, just as trumpet players and egotistical last chair clarinet players are no competition for me. Just keep hanging on, it's tough, I can do it, and I think you can too.
Kontragirl
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Author: Nicole Y.
Date: 2000-03-01 23:41
I don't think that everyone could play a Contra. My friend plays it and she's good...but no one would dare try to play it...certainly not I...thanx for the pick-me-up.
Best wishes,
The Freshman,
Nicole Y.
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Author: Jeff
Date: 2000-03-02 00:11
This is not meant to demean you Nicole, but some 1st chair players can think that they are so good and no one will ever even come close to being that good. The first chair girl at my school is a real snot. She is a good player, but she just really irritates me because she walks around with just about the biggest head in the world. I sometimes catch myself saying some of the things that your friends say about you-not that I am better than her, but I hope someone could beat her. I have tried to be nice to her, but whatever I do is wrong(she once yelled at me for saying "Hi" to her every day). I have gotten to the point now where I sink to her level every once in a while. I try not to, but it is hard. What would everyone else do in this situation.
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Author: Lelia
Date: 2000-03-02 00:36
Nicole, I sure hope you read Jeff's message carefully instead of just getting mad.
You wrote,
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We are losely chaired. The really good clarinet sit on one end and the ones that need more improvement on the other. I was, undoubtedly, first chair. Everyone admited that. My band director admited that.
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Time out.... Why is this something that people would have to *admit*? Why wouldn't they just *agree*? If you set this up as an adversarial, "me against the world" situation, you will force everyone involved to see it that way, too.
Back to your message:
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And then I got braces and I couldn't play for about 2 weeks and it was just bad. Now, I still haven't got my tone back but my technical ability is still there. The problem is that I no longer have the support of my classmates. The 2nd chair is one of my friends, but I know I'm better...it's just that right now her tone is better than mine. Although it is not a consensus, one of the clarinetists *she's 4th or 5th chair* has blatantly been going around putting me down. She refuses to let me sit where I usually sit, at the end of the row. I don't feel like I'm good enough to play anymore. I don't even really like playing anymore. My band class wasn't the best to begin with, but it was bearable until now. I am even thinking about quitting next year. One of my dearest friends, who is a drummer, doesn't want me to. I was being considered to be section leader as a sophmore, and he doesn't think I should give that up. I am going to take private lessons from the first chair of the Savannah Orchestra, so I don't feel like I'm losing much. I told my band director and he said he didn't care, it was up to me. The loss of support...well...it is just one or two clarinetists...my friend the drummer went around and polled and he found out that everyone else including the 2nd chair clarinet thought I was best...well those 2 putting me down has really gotten to me. It is so bad I want to quit. What do you think? Am I making a rash step?
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IMHO, the rash step is all this political maneuvering. You're trying to make everyone including the instructor take sides. People don't like to be forced into this spot! When you and your friend the drummer pressure people to declare for you or against you, they will tend to react negatively, position themselves as your opponents and then defend those positions and get locked into them, instead of being flexible and giving you a chance to win them over. In the long run, you will not benefit. You will make yourself look like a problem people have to deal with and overcome. Wouldn't you rather have these people perceive you as a friend and colleage? Try thinking more about what's best for the band as a whole, and less about what you personally can get for yourself. Before you can be a team leader, you need to be a good team player.
I also think that setting up the equation as, "If I can't be first chair, then I want to quit!" is a huge mistake. If you're not careful, you'll create a self-fulfilling prophecy and force yourself to quit. You're only a freshman. You have plenty of time. Try to work on being the best clarinet player you can be and the most cooperative member of a tem working together for the common good, instead of keeping score quite so relentlessly. My two cents.
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Author: Dee
Date: 2000-03-02 01:03
Jeff,
I would continue to try to be the nicest person possible and not stoop to her level. In the meantime, I would work my behind off and beat her out. The best way to make a dent in someone like that is to become better than they are.
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Author: Kim
Date: 2000-03-02 01:08
Anything can happen. In my senior year, a crummy freshman, IMHO, was put first ahead of me. I was first chair and was more advanced than the other players. I took all of my anger out on that one freshman and wound up wanting to quit, just like you. You know what happened? I didn't quit because of the excuse, "I need to graduate." Truthfully, I love music, still do in fact. I stuck it out and for the band trip I had a sinus infection and it wasn't until this unexpected occurrence when I missed both a concert AND the band trip, that the band director actually knew that I was better than the freshman. I even was given a solo because the freshman couldn't tongue and had reeds that were too hard(V-12 4's). The hard reeds were one of my biggest criticisms!
You should rethink why you are in band. I love music and am now a music education major. Regardless of how good you are, there is always going to be someone better than you, especially in a college band. I went from ninth chair last year to fourth chair this year. I am really pleased with this improvement. I have to admit last year, I didn't have good tone, good articulation, or good rhythms. But now, I am a whale of a player! Okay, I am bragging a bit, but remember that those who think that they are better than others do NOT excel. Think about trumpet players(Biased I know). Trumpet players just seem to have the biggest heads, though, but clarinet and other woodwinds seem to be calm in other situations.
Believe in yourself and play because you WANT to, not because you are in school and HAVE to. I am a music major and am in band, choir, clarinet quartet, and wind ensemble not because I HAVE to, because I WANT to. If I did because I had to I'd be pretty miserable. I've also learned that playing first chair isn't the most important because all the parts in the section have an importance to the band. There is no really easy part when you play in the clarinet section. Everybody in section has to be part of the section, not above the section.
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Author: Willie
Date: 2000-03-02 02:35
You've got some good advice and suppot here. As for the fight for first chair, the director may want this particular person there as a challenge or encouragement to that person. His motives may be hidden and may not be political at all. In one of the community bands I play in the two first chair parts are being played by two young girls who are freshmen music majors and he (the professor) wants them to have the ultiment challenge (the hard parts). The best clarinetist (much better than I) is playing second toaugment that voice with a young high school girl who is challended at this level and is being guided by this players knoledge. I was moved back to augment third as this voice is also important and with this system, all the parts are strong. We now have a "killer klarinet" section and we all are benefitting.
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Author: Nicole Y.
Date: 2000-03-02 20:20
I really do pride myself on how hard I've worked to get where I am now. I have not played as long as the other members in the band. I did not ask my friend the drummer to go around and ask who was best. He did it to try to convince me. Well...people's egos are big *including mine, I admit, but I mostly keep to myself. I don't go around criticizing people. I don't really talk because I have to suck in the pain of playing. I mean, I always have a cut in my lip and my braces will be caught in it and make it deeper...so I try not to talk after that. I'd rather play the music. I admit when people are good and like to praise them* It is not really that it is me against the world, it is just that I felt like everyone supported me in my playing no matter how I played and now I don't as much. I am happy for my friend the 2nd clarinetist but I admit, I will try harder and there will be competition. This will just make me a stronger player because I was getting lenient...and I was also despairing. However, there isn't much chance for challenge for any of the 1-3 chairs. The music we get is ridiculously easy and my director underestimates us and does not challenge. That goes for the whole band. And no, I'm not mad about Jeff's message. For a while I did go around with a "I'm better than you" attitude *for about a week* but I learned and life has been humbling and now I know that whatever I do I earn and that it is better to praise and have my friends try harder and get better than it is for me to put them down.
The Freshman,
Nicole Y.
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Author: Cholé
Date: 2000-03-02 20:54
Nicole- you musn't let people who are jealous put you off because you deserve to be where you are or you wouldn't be there! One thing to consider is if the person who is putting you down has been in the band longer they may feel that you have taken a place thay perhaps assumed would be theirs. This happened to me last year when I was made first ove two girls who were two years older, one of whom had been 2nd to my 3rd the year before and I had considered a friend, she suddenly started being really horrible to me and we fell out, I talked to her later on and we worked it out. Maybe (I'm not sure cause I don't know this person) talking to her would help.
Good Luck'
Chloe
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Author: Kim
Date: 2000-03-02 23:50
I'm not sure how old this person is, but sometimes you are chaired a certain way to for the benefit of the ensemble. Sometimes the very best musicians are placed third for support of the section. Would you want somebody who didn't have good tone quality placed third? The third parts are very important to the section. However, the first parts can be heard all the way across the band room. This is because the first parts are higher than the lower parts.
I have played 1st clarinet, 2nd clarinet, and 3rd clarinet. I played 3rd clarinet for a region band and the first year in college. We always seemed to be told to play louder, while the 2nd's and 1st's were never told. The 3rds support the section. Now that I have been playing second this year, I have noticed that the 1st and 2nd parts are pretty much the same. The third parts seem to be lower and need to be played out more. The best may be sitting third, but it is because of their sound quality.
My parents always told me that my band director placed me second my senior year to give the freshman a chance to prosper. Whether that is true or not I am not sure because I was sure angry that year. Remember that you are a very good freshman, but you will see yourself go up in improvement in the next few years. Who do you think will be first next year? The same person, or you? I didn't make regions my sophomore year of high school. I got so angry that I made it my junior year! I was third chair second.
Don't be angry with your band director, or the person sitting above you. Just be proud of who you are and how good you are.
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Author: Brandon
Date: 2000-03-03 01:46
I had a very similar experience when I was in high school. I went to a high school known for producing clarinets. I was always in competition with these people. However, through it all we became close friends. These three other clarinetists and I competed on a constant basis. I really wish you could have that same experience. Even when you feel down these other clarinetists and friends can pull you up even though you are competing against each other. I would say that because of this level of competition I became a much better player. A great music educator once told me this: "Music students are like people stranded in the desert. Those who succeed cross every dune until they reach the oasis. Then there are those that give up and fall." This simple analogy seems weird, but decide for yourself if these people are worth you giving up band or music altogether. Do not let petty differences hinder what could be a fabulous section and a rewarding experience. If your band director says he or she does not care if you quit then that individual is not a true music educator. As a music ed major I want tell you to stick with it. Also, do not try and burn a bridge with your band director. You may need him as a reference some day. Even though your fellow section members may dislike you or put you down be as nice as possible to them. There is no reason to despise one another. Just put the differences aside and spend time bettering your section.
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Author: Brandon
Date: 2000-03-03 01:53
Sorry. I replied on Dee's reply. My message is more directed towards Nichole. By the way about the chairing thing. Sometimes you just have to laugh it off. As a junior I was second chair at All-State. As a senior I originally made third at my school. Through challenges I moved back up. Just laugh it off. If you get mad it really hurts more than it does help. Take it as a learning experience.
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Author: Laurie
Date: 2000-03-03 02:24
Hey Nicole,
You know what - Don't let that girl put you do or make you want to drop music etc. I go through that everyday to. Funny, I go through the same thing you do everyday. All my friends say i'm 1st chair, I was invited to move to the sr band this year( i'm a sophmore) and I get A's and A+'s on like everything. This one girl just hates me for it. I get sly comments from her daily, evil looks, mimicked and just mean thigns .. and it hurts soo much and gets me soo angry because i'm a dedicated musican - i don't care about seating etc, i just want to be the best that I can be .. and I guess that's really all it comes down to. You play music because you love it. Jealousy kills, it really does.
Loss of support is a big factor, i know what it feels like -but instead of focusin on who's not behind you -focus on who is. - .. is your director behind you ?? Best of luck - and ur welcome to e-mail me anytime - BsBBall02@cs.com
Never give up
Laurie
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Author: Kim
Date: 2000-03-03 02:30
In band, I have always learned one thing: it is where life skills are learned. I mean life skills are learned in sports and all, but in band, it is the ultimate. In band, marching and concert including, band members learn how to work together and cooperate. So even if so and so is ahead of you, what difference does it make.(I'm making a point!) Suppose you were applying for a CEO position and so and so, that you knew got that position ahead of you. Would you go ahead hating that person for the rest of your life? I don't think so. That is a little immature and unreasonable. Relax, be mature, and have fun! All of you in the band desire only one thing--to make music. You also appreciate music. If there is one weak link, or an angry person, it can bring the whole band down. One person has a high ego, then the next, and so on. Keep your cool and enjoy making music!
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Author: Meredith H
Date: 2000-03-03 04:37
Isn't the chairing in your band up to the musical director not up to the rest of your section? Why is 1st chair such a big deal? Won't your musical director make the appropriate choice and move you up again when your tone comes back? I have just been shifted down a chair in my band because it was in the best interest of the band. I was doubling the 1st part and the lower sections really needed some support so I was asked to move down. The difference in the sound of our section was noticeable immediately, I could hear it, the players around me could hear and so could the conductor. My parts aren't quite as technical as they were but I get to make some really beautiful chords. Try to remember all parts are important, after all, you are in PART of an ensemble.
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Author: Ray Swing
Date: 2000-03-03 15:17
Nocole Y- I'm no expert on braces but if they are causing lip problems when playing, look into some sort of lip guard.I'm sure if you discussed your problem with your dentist, he could recommend a solution for you.
Good Luck with your music.
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Author: HTW
Date: 2000-03-04 03:00
I'm also a very naturally competitive clarinetist. I keep it pretty much under control but the truth is that deep down, that wild, primeval me loves first clarinet like nothing else, and I hate to see to see people above me. I admit it, that's who I am. Recently, I had an incredible experience. Where I come from, I don't have a whole lot of competition. I mean, there are plenty of clarinetists but I'm close to the top of the pre-university group, and that's what I was used to. I went off to a very pretigious music camp not knowing what to expect...and I found that everyone there was at least 4 years older than me (mostly much older than that though), in university and amazing. They say pride cometh before a fall...and for that first few days because to that huge ego of mine I fell harder than I thought possible. Honestly, I was in agony. As I got used to it, it radically changed the way I looked at clarinet, music and even life, and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Now I make sure I never forget what happened to me there. My ego is a little smaller, and it put in perspective the huge distance I still had to cross before I "made it". It really scared me at first, I almost quit, but now I love the clarinet more passionatly than before.
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