 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: clarinetgiggirl
Date: 2004-10-26 17:26
I am relatively new to performing, having done only a handful of jazz/blues gigs. I have however, played clarinet in a small group (singer, bass, guitar and sometimes keyboard) for a couple of years and was most excited when we did a local gig in July and were re-booked for a couple of weeks time.
I have been looking forward to it enormously, but the band leader announced yesterday that she will be asking a very experienced clarinet player and a trumpet player to join us. She hasn't said that she no longer wants me there, but it will certainly limit my opportunities to play on the night and I am likely to be somewhat 'surplus to requirements'. I also feel very hurt and upset by her decision. Should I go along anyway or give it a miss? What would you do?
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Author: Mark Charette
Date: 2004-10-26 17:35
clarinetgiggirl wrote:
> Should I go along anyway
> or give it a miss? What would you do?
What I have done is: give it a try for a night. Nothing to lose, everything to gain. If you don't end up playing or feel you're "baggage", find a new group. Or you may come to find out that the group needs a new leader ...
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Author: clarinetwife
Date: 2004-10-26 18:28
Yeah, now is probably not the time to skip the gig since it was already agreed to and scheduled. If you play, you get your pay and you stay on good terms, which is a good idea whether you end up staying or going.
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Author: William
Date: 2004-10-26 18:37
Have you discussed your feelings with your leader??
Never the less, the one sure way of limiting your opportunities is to quit and NOT play the gig. Give the group (and your leader) "one more time" and then, if things are not in your favor, make a decision--yes or no. During this period of speculation about what "might be" is not the time to drop out.
Another outcome of having "experianced" players in your group might be to listen and learn--and try to emulate in your practice or the next time you get to solo. Just some thoughts--good luck.
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Author: JMcAulay
Date: 2004-10-26 19:19
Yes, you should, and that's my comment before reading your post. Now I will read it and see if I agree with myself.
Yes, I do. The reason for my seemingly odd sequence is that if you have been asked to play a gig, GO DO IT unless the person who booked you personally advises that you have been unbooked. Not a bad idea to verify that you are still wanted, of course. But unless there's some real adverse nastiness going on, go play.
Don't be upset. If you hired me and then discovered that a much better player became available, you would probably be smart to pick up the better player. And if I weren't playing, I'd be there listening with both ears.
I think it is significant that no one asked you to stay away. Enjoy the gig!
Regards,
John
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Author: sfalexi
Date: 2004-10-26 19:36
And who's to say that the experienced player will stay? He/she may play a few gigs and then decide they don't want to stay with your group.
Alexi
US Army Japan Band
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Author: David Spiegelthal ★2017
Date: 2004-10-26 20:19
Never look a gift gig in the mouth.
When I was younger and completely inexperienced in "traditional" (i.e. pre-bebop) jazz I was hired (to my complete surprise) to play alto and bari saxes and bass clarinet(!) in a well-known local combo doing Benny Goodman small-group tunes, Louis Jordan, that sort of stuff -- I hadn't a clue, never having listened to that sort of music, much less played it! Well, I stayed with the group for a year, learned a lot and had a lot of fun, even though I was definitely the weak link in the band -- and when I quit it was my own decision, I wasn't fired. So give your new gig a shot.
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Author: diz
Date: 2004-10-26 22:24
Don't give up the gig ... that's a bad suggestion.
So, the M.D. decides to bring in more experienced players - make the most of the opportunity and relish in being mentored by more experienced musicians. If they are good players then you can only gain from the experience.
I would, however, ask the M.D. to make it clear that he/she still wants you present ...
Without music, the world would be grey, very grey.
Post Edited (2004-10-28 22:25)
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Author: drunkenragingklezbian
Date: 2004-10-27 00:56
Tragically this is going to happen to you again and again if you continue to pursue playing and it's not really your fault. Someone gets it in their head after a successful show that they need to be more "pro" and to do that means bringing in someone else, completely discounting loyalty and all the hard work you've put in. It's the life fire equivalent of the mouthpiece/reed/key wars that constantly go on- rather than practice more and develop as a whole they think that one magical addition will dramatically impact their band and make them superstars.
It's up to you to show up, work with the new person and continue to develop your contacts/network and professionally as a player. If possible, find some other people to start playing with informally but keep on playing.
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Author: vegwedge
Date: 2004-10-27 02:05
some great responses here. Yes do the gig. Like someone else said, you weren't asked to leave so you shouldn't feel obligated to. Also I think that if you feel as though you have something to contribute and these are a group of people to whom you would like to make a positive contribution then do so, or at least try your best. I can't think of any other way it should be.
hmmnn... SPOON!
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Author: ken
Date: 2004-10-27 02:17
lots of dues paying yet to endure ... no sense putting off the inevitable character building.
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Author: Bani
Date: 2004-10-27 03:18
Some very wise advice here. Don't ignore please.
IMHO, if you stay away now you'll look like a kid who sulks when things don't go her/his way. Not a good image for anyone, let alone a budding pro musician , to have.
Thanks and God bless!
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Author: Bani
Date: 2004-10-27 03:26
P.S.
The test of a true professional is to be able to perform your best even under the worst circumstances (or even under conditions you don't like).
Someone very wise thought me that.
God bless!
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Author: clarinetgiggirl
Date: 2004-10-27 08:47
Gosh, I really was thinking of not going. This has given me a new perspective - thank you.
I'll talk to the band leader this weekend and ask if I am still required, if so I will probably do it. I still feel very hurt though - these are supposed to be close friends.
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Author: Karel
Date: 2004-10-28 08:39
I think you are being very kind to your "friendly" group leader. Until you are told to get lost I would suggest you turn up to play as normal, and I would not make his/her life easy by asking the question. If you are now on the outer, make them work out how to tell you. With close friends like that, who needs enemies? On the other hand, it may all be a misunderstanding. Let it work itself out.
Good luck, and I hope all works out well for you. Would you let us know what happens? Karel.
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Author: clarinetgiggirl
Date: 2004-10-28 11:37
Karel,
You are right. I'll just get on with it.
We have a rehersal tomorrow which I am dreading. I don't want to do it, but I will. I am just hoping that I don't become too emotional. I am likely to burst into tears if I am not careful!
They asked me a while ago to look after the publicity (posters etc.) as I am a marketeer in my day-job, but this is something that I definitely am not prepared to do now (they weren't going to pay me).
Once the gig is over, I doubt that I will want to play with them (or even be in the same room as them) and I certainly don't feel that I can count them as good friends any more. It is loss and I am hurt, but as you say, with friends like that, who needs enemies!
I'll keep you posted.
Victoria
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Author: Bani
Date: 2004-10-29 02:35
Hi Victoria,
IMHO, we know it hurts right now but the thing about friendships (especially long/good ones) is that they tend to go in cycles. Today you’re soulmates, tomorrow you're not on speaking terms, next month all is forgiven and forgotten, and the cycle starts all over again.
As drunkenragingklezbian (what a funny name, he , he, he) says “this is going to happen to you again and again if you continue to pursue playing.”
If that is true (and we know it is) do you want to get hurt and have to cry all over again every time it happens? I’m sure you don’t. At some point you’ll have to be able to overcome getting hurt and just shrug off such things as part of a pro muscian’s life. For your own good the sooner you’re able to do this the better for you.
Some day (in the not too distant future) you may be the band director faced with a similar situation of having to bring in a pro at the expense of a less experienced player (who's also a friend). Then you’ll be in a better position to deal with it without hurting anyone’s feelings (based on this experience).
Thanks and God bless!
Bani
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Author: DavidBlumberg
Date: 2004-10-29 13:09
This can go either way:
Either the case is that the director is a &*&*&* and is looking for the next better player with no loyalty involved
or
you aren't playing quite up to what she is looking for quality wise and they need to up the quality level.
The other possibility is that the other players weaseled their way into the gig - I've seen that one before!
Only you know which version is accurate. There are lead players and there are backup players.
Don't let ego get in your way. Possibly the new player will help you go to the next level of your playing with inspiration!
And sometimes situations are just BOHICA (bend over, here it comes again).
You will learn something from those too.
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Author: drunkenragingklezbian
Date: 2004-10-29 16:21
"They asked me a while ago to look after the publicity (posters etc.) as I am a marketeer in my day-job, but this is something that I definitely am not prepared to do now (they weren't going to pay me)."
Frankly, that a member is willing to do marketing is worth its weight in gold. Everyone wants to be involved with the creative aspect of music but no one really wants to be a part of putting butts in seats or raising awareness for a band. As the person who often times has had to do PR for a project (until it came to interviews, of course, but not actually setting up the interviews or placing the press releases or handing out thousands of flyers), I usually build a contact and mailing list that is mine and when I leave a project, I bring MY contact/mailing list with me- this includes all club owners, zines, shops that I mail flyers to, etc. and I make sure to send out an email that says I am no longer with the project, etc.
It's been my experience that music publicity has to be learned the hard way- through mistakes. Here's your chance to go out and make a few.
Do the gig, get the marketing experience AND contacts and leave. As a person who puts projects together, if I had to choose between a decent player who is loyal and willing to work for success by hitting the streets AND someone who practices four hours a day I would go with the person who is going to show up and help make the project a success.
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Author: Brenda Siewert
Date: 2004-10-30 15:45
You never know, the new "more professional" player may not like playing with the group and may decide to opt out of any future gigs. Or, you may actually get along and you may learn something from the more experienced player.
I learned something from the advice of a very wise person a long time ago and it works for me in every situation in life..."What is the most difficult for you to do will be the thing by which you will be the most greatly blessed."
Even if the reward isn't instant, the character-building situation will be a reward and the experience will be gold if you take the high road and do the right thing even if it hurts. Your word is your honor. If you said you would be there--be there. Assume you're wanted unless the leader tells you face to face that you are not.
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Author: clarinetgiggirl
Date: 2004-11-15 09:26
I thought I should conclude this story:
I did the gig on Saturday and it went well.
A short while ago, a close friend of mine who is a well-respected local musician bumped into the band leader and she asked him whether he thought it was right that she was getting another clarinet player to join us. He told her that he thought it was very disloyal and that if she had asked him, he most certainly would not have done it.
As a consequence, she did employ the other player. I did the gig with them and it went very well.
We've been asked back early next year too, so whilst my enthusiasm for the band is not what it was, I suppose this is a happy ending!
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