 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: sfalexi
Date: 2004-02-22 04:10
A bit of the story leading up to those few, but nice words I was told . . .
Last time I saw my instructor, we had a good long talk. For about a half hour past my lesson. Just talking about various aspects of music and things dealing with clarinets. I learned a little about his history with instruments (his father was considered to be a "violin prodigy" and he himself was a young "clarinet prodigy" playing as a featured guest at a young high school age). I vented my frustrations about how I now WISH that my parents had forced me to practice or provided private lessons when I was younger because I know I would have been SO much better right now.
So I told him that part of it was because noone in my family were musicians and also that they didn't ever consider music to be a serious thing and kept it more as a hobby and that's why they never really cared about me practicing or anything. (on a sidenote, I'm somewhat curious as to what they're reaction would be if I told them one day that I've changed my mind on careers and I'm going to become a professional musician . . . however I fear I might need a defribillator if I ever decide to say that)
After venting how I should have been so much better if my parents had been into music and forced me to practice he simply said, "Well, just remember . . . it has to start somewhere." So my new way of thinking is not to be upset that I may not ever make it out there, but at least now I know what I need to do to be able to pass it on to my future children and grandchildren and hopefully start a trend of family musicians, leaving a noticeable mark on my family name.
Alexi
Just thought some of you might be able to relate to my position and maybe haven't thought of this aspect of "starting late".
US Army Japan Band
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Author: Alseg
Date: 2004-02-22 05:09
Kudos to your teacher.
A similar thought:
Some social snobs were trying to impress everyone with their "lineage,"
I thought about it and concluded that....
We should care less about who our anscestors were, and more
about what sort of
people our descendants will be.
Former creator of CUSTOM CLARINET TUNING BARRELS by DR. ALLAN SEGAL
-Where the Sound Matters Most(tm)-
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Author: msroboto
Date: 2004-02-22 05:34
I never had lessons and it was more hobby than anything. The more I know musicians I find that THEY are who motivate(d) themselves to practice. No one can do that for you at any age.
It's on me how I play today not my parents lack of support.
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Author: sfalexi
Date: 2004-02-22 05:43
MSRoboto,
True. And right now I love it. But with a little forced help when I was younger, it could have gone two ways. I could have hated playing because I was forced to, or I'd be just that much better off now that I like to. I don't know if I'd be as dedicated now if I was forced to be earlier, but if I'd be a whole lot better off right now.
Ah well. C'est la vie.
Alexi
US Army Japan Band
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Author: msroboto
Date: 2004-02-22 06:25
makes me think of that serenity prayer (I will keep god out of this as I am not a believer)
accept what you can't change
change what you can
and have the wisdom to know the difference
you can't change the past so accept that and change what you can by being persistant moving forward with practice, learning, and performing
you'll get there maybe by a different road but it's your road
btw - i got my bachelor's degree in 13 short years of night school. were there other roads. of course, but that's the one that took me there.
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Author: BobD
Date: 2004-02-22 13:03
If your parents had forced you to practice you might have rebelled and hated music forever....
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Author: paulwl
Date: 2004-02-23 01:11
"Well, just remember...it has to start somewhere."
I hope you don't mean a tradition of forcing music (or anything else) on the younger generation.
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Author: Brenda
Date: 2004-02-23 12:04
My dear father tried to teach the three of us piano, and tried to encourage us to practice 1/2 hr per day. His approach was encouraging but not too pushy. There was ALWAYS classical music in the house, along with pop music, bluegrass, jazz, etc. etc. and my mother would whistle all day long to whatever was on. So we would sing. The parental example was there.
That seemed to work because we all took on music to our own level without being forced into rebelling at the practice. I was the one who much later on took up music seriously and went much further than my brother and sister, but it took time.
So what's a parent to do? Our four kids took piano lessons for as long as I could keep convincing them that it was a great thing to do and that when they're 21 they'd regret having left it. So all of them have the basics. They all went on to playing other instruments, but now it's because they want to. Because of their early training they all read music, and have all the basics they need to carry on with voice, or any other instrument they choose. I just hope that whomever they marry is a musician, because this talent is latent right now and will re-surface later on.
Alseg had it right by saying it's more important to be concerned with who our decendants might be - we can't change the past. And sometimes the past was exactly what we needed since we don't know how we would have reacted if it were different.
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Author: paulwl
Date: 2004-02-23 14:12
Seems as though you had an ideal situation to begin in. I am curious, though, whether you went further than your sibs because there WAS some "forcing" involved in achieving seriousness. Ie, you would take it (from teachers, peers, yourself) and they wouldn't.
I ask mostly to test the oft-made assertion that no one was ever "encouraged" to become a truly great musician.
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Author: Brenda
Date: 2004-02-23 18:33
Paulwl - Interesting observation. Actually, I wanted it and they didn't. Their fortes were in other things: one is great at computers/electronics, and the other has an amazing creativity in sewing and other handiwork. On the other hand music was always a passion of mine. As an adult I sought out a teacher when my kids were in middle-school band class. It was tremendously stressful to juggle everything including family and a job, but I still bristle when someone suggests that I give up music to reduce my work load.
There was some encouraging "pushing" involved of course, but not from my parents. With lessons comes the discipline of learning the scales & arpeggios etc. etc., and practicing almost every day. Practice will go on late at night and I have to be told to stop. But having the goal of a conservatory exam in front of me got me into the practice room when everyone else was at the TV. Now, I have a beautifully framed set of exam certificates that get added to with each subsequent success, but my kids can name the actors in the TV commercials - see how much I missed?
My high school band director told me I was a glutten for punishment - I stayed literally half the school day in the band room practicing. He had me prepare a Brahms Sonata for the competition in Grade 12 even though I had only been in band for two years, and until then I had taken no lessons. So it was always in me, but the fierce drive to advance just didn't kick in until later on. So there's no child prodigy here.
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Author: sfalexi
Date: 2004-02-23 19:40
From paulwl . . .
Quote:
I hope you don't mean a tradition of forcing music (or anything else) on the younger generation. No. But at least being able to recognize a drive for music and know that lessons would be beneficial to them, however un-beneficial to my own personal wallet it might be. Also I'll be there to actually encourage them instead of just "accept" that they're learning an instrument.
And of course there's the possibility of them not wanting to learn an instrument, but all this will be handled when it happens years from now.
Alexi
US Army Japan Band
Post Edited (2004-02-23 19:48)
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Author: Jeff Forman
Date: 2004-02-23 19:57
Quote:
"I hope you don't mean a tradition of forcing music (or anything else) on the younger generation"
I once read an intereview with Earl Scruggs (the quintessential banjo player) and he was asked if he forced his kids to play instruments. He said that what he did was to tune up the guitar and banjo before he left the house, leave them standing up by the bed and tell the kids not to touch them.
Jeff
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Author: Brenda
Date: 2004-02-23 21:05
Jeff,
That's actually how I got my oldest to practice the piano - I'd have the younger ones start playing, or maybe play something myself - you know, sort of not so well, then he'd have to come over and show us how to do it, which I'd happily let him do! Now he's too smart for that.
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Author: Jeff Forman
Date: 2004-02-23 22:36
Brenda - That's a great story and it just goes to show that if you can get kids to want to ____________________ (fill in the blank) then they'll do it. The secret is to get them to want to. I have always found that kids don't know the concept of too hard or impossible. If there's a song, a phrase, or just a single lick that interests a kid, he will work on it until he gets it. Maybe it's because their little minds aren't cluttered with the next mortgage or car payment or the project at work.
All of which proves the notion that youth is wasted on the young!!!!
Jeff
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Author: sfalexi
Date: 2004-02-24 06:06
There are plenty of ways to "trick" people into doing something. One of the most fundamental is to just show how great a time you have doing it! I bet many people who had musicians in the family took up music just because they remembered how much fun old family gatherings were with someone playing the piano and someone playing the guitar and having a blast together.
And playing WITH the children would help a lot too. I enjoy playing my clarinet, but it sure does get lonely when I play the piece and noone listens. And then I get to community band and we actually MAKE MUSIC! Or my instructor pulls out a duet and we MAKE MUSIC! It's fun. Now if I had someone in the house that did that with me, I'd be a lot happier than even now! And one day I get to BE that person.
Alexi
Quote:
All of which proves the notion that youth is wasted on the young!!!! Reminds me of an anecdote I heard. "It's so funny. We're born free, with no responsibilities, doing as we please, pooping whenever wherever we want, and we can't remember a thing about those days. Then we get to talk and go STRAIGHT to school. 8 hours a day. And homework. More than a fulltime job. Then in our late teens early twenties, the 'prime of our life', we finally have a bit of fun. Then it's off to a 30 year career toiling away to earn money so that when we turn 65 we can retire with a pension to live on. And when we do get to 72 and finally retire, we're too old to do anything fun with our free time and we just sit around contemplating the past. Wouldn't it be great if life was lived backwards?"
US Army Japan Band
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