 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: chicagoclar
Date: 2004-02-09 07:34
Ok, so I am the director of a small clarinet ensemble. I'm a grad student who runs it through a community school of music. The choir is actually a class that students sign up for. There are members of all ages, from ten, to college students. We were having problems with attendance at the last few meetings and really needed a rehearsal with all members in attendance. We decided that this week's meeting would be absolutely mandatory, and that anyone who missed would not be allowed to return. Well, just as the rehearsal was about to start, one of the college students came up to me and said that she wouldn't be able to attend the rehearsal. When I questioned her about it she told me it was because she had a hangover and could not play. I felt that I had to stick with the decision that we had come to that people in non=attendance would not come back, especially as this was not the first time she had missed for reasons such as this. So I asked her to turn in her music, and the contra-alto clarinet (it's the schools and checked out for the choir). We had another person fill in her spot and went on with the rehearsal. Did I do the right thing? or should I have accepted the hangover as an illness and let her come back.
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Author: EEBaum
Date: 2004-02-09 07:50
If you didn't show up for a gig because you had a hangover, would you ever expect a callback? Besides, I know people who have played through much worse.
Then again, this might fall into the category of courses that require attendance... the only courses that have to worry at all about attendance are usually the ones that are a bit, shall we say, dry. If you can get the group to accept and appreciate (and hopefully enjoy) the value of the ensemble, you shouldn't have to worry about attendance.
-Alex
www.mostlydifferent.com
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Author: CJB
Date: 2004-02-09 07:58
I think you did the right thing. For a genuine illness then missing a rehearsal is acceptable, but a self inflicted hangover is neither an illness nor a valid excuse. A bit of self control is something everyone needs to learn - and the pain of playing through the hangover might be a short-cut to learning it.
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Author: Hank Lehrer
Date: 2004-02-09 08:05
Hi,
Life is all about choices. The Contra player made one and that was "she had a hangover and could not play."
She made her choice and since the rehearsal was required, that's it. While it is never easy in such situations, had you said "OK, stay" you would have been enabling that kind of behavior and set a pretty poor example for those that attended.
Shake it off; leadership will test you many more times and most assuredly in tougher ways in your future years.
I'd not lose any sleep over this one!
HRL
PS When you have a moment, review what got you into this situation. Could you have avoided having to give an ultimatum?
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Author: GBK
Date: 2004-02-09 08:07
In the real paying musical world (as opposed to an insulated artificial college environment) if you showed up for a gig under the influence of alcohol, or complaining of a hangover, it would be the last time you would be called to play.
There are hundreds of very competent players eagerly awaiting work, to have to waste rehearsal time on someone who has yet to put their personal priorities in order.
GBK's important rules to remember:
1. Professionalism starts in the rehearsal room.
2. In the music business you rarely get a second chance.
Think about the sports world. Players are routinely disciplined, banned, fined, traded, benched or suspended for breaking the rules.
The managers don't give it a second thought...GBK
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Author: LeWhite
Date: 2004-02-09 10:17
You just did this girl a huge favour - she'll never do it again.
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Author: Brandon
Date: 2004-02-09 10:46
You did the right thing in my book. As you are working with students, if you do not back up what you say, they will try and walk all over you.
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Author: Hank Lehrer
Date: 2004-02-09 12:56
CC,
Another twist.
I have, on three different occassions that I remember in my playing career, refused to take jobs with three different leaders. Two were drinkers (and I mean by the end of the night pretty drunk on the stand) and one was a heavy pill-user and it really got in the way. He hardly even knew what tune we were playing and it was me on sax, flute, and clarinet, and him on keyboards with a rhythm unit. What a mess!
It cost me money but I refused to work under those conditions.
HRL
Post Edited (2004-02-09 14:03)
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Author: chicagoclar
Date: 2004-02-09 14:31
Thanks for the encouraging words. I definately did not lose any sleep over the situation, as this girl has proven herself to be rather undependable in many occassions inside and outside of the clarinet choir. I tried to talk to her about it last week actually, because we had another performance together and she handled that situation very badly, but she did not listen. I believe in my heart (and my head) that I did the right thing for two reasons: 1) Had I not stuck with the rules that we put down, the kids would have not taken me seriously in future situations. 2) She announced her reasons for missing in front of the smaller kids, ie the 10 year old, and allowing her to leave and then return next week would have been showing the kids that this was acceptable, and it is not.
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Author: BobD
Date: 2004-02-09 14:41
The girl has a problem that should receive professional attention. The best thing you can do is suggest she seek such help.....unless her real goal is self destruction.
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Author: Don Poulsen
Date: 2004-02-09 16:12
Although definitely valid, the two reasons you list are not the only reasons you did the right thing. Include the fact that you sent her the message that there are consequences to her irresponsible choices that she alone must deal with and the simple fact that you were right. And no, you should not have treated it as an illness because, as has been previously stated, the hangover was the result of her own poor choice, not an unexpected illness.
Don't beat yourself up for helping teach someone, and possibly several someones, that the choices they make in life have consequences. More parents and teachers need to have the spine that you have shown.
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Author: Synonymous Botch
Date: 2004-02-09 16:21
It's not uncommon for college age kids to test their limits.
You set one, and must stick to it or all will backslide.
She must want to be the next Paris Hilton.
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Author: Brandon
Date: 2004-02-09 16:48
Botch...try elementary. Things are a lot different these days...
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Author: JMcAulay
Date: 2004-02-09 17:20
It is with embarrassment that I report having missed a mandatory rehearsal once in my life, while in college. The leader said to me just one word: "Goodbye." It's not something any intelligent person would do more than once.
Did you do the right thing? Unquestionably.
Evidently, this young lady has yet to figure out diddly-squat. If she "can't" play with a hangover, it was definitely time for her either to quit drinking or quit playing. As you have taken care of the latter, now she has more time to devote to her primary interest. What a waste.
Regards,
John
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Author: Rachel
Date: 2004-02-09 23:20
You did the right thing. If I did what she did, I'd expect exactly the same thing to happen to me. A commitment is a commitment.
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Author: diz
Date: 2004-02-10 00:10
chicago ... great news. Accept nothing but professionalism and diligence.
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Author: paulwl
Date: 2004-02-10 17:14
*** deleted by poster ***
Post Edited (2004-02-14 14:10)
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Author: Dee
Date: 2004-02-10 22:52
Such an excuse is unacceptable for a mandatory rehearsal. There are some excuses that would be acceptable but a hangover isn't one of them. If she can't exercise the discipline not to drink the night before, she has no reason to be in the group.
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Author: diz
Date: 2004-02-10 23:25
Don't be rude to her ... just be factual ... one should go out of one's way to make enemies (unwittingly) ... your kharma might just run over your dogma otherwise.
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Author: paulwl
Date: 2004-02-14 19:31
Probably best.
I get a judging, superior vibe towards the hung-over contraaltoist from some of the posters here. Keep in mind that people who abuse alcohol are messing up their lives, not just your music. Holier-than-thouisms from a person in authority may actually drive them deeper into their problem.
I would have been factual, yes, clear, but NOT cold. No one-word goodbyes (I was obviously being sarcastic before). Certainly no curt abstract pieties like diligence, discipline, and professionalism.
I'd have said, "If you really can't play today, I'm sorry, but you just can't be part of the group any longer. We all agreed to be here because it's the only way to make it work."
And I would have meant the sorry part. Unlike, say, GBK, I am not all that eager to cull the herd. How would it feel to be the reason a dedicated, but troubled, player gave up entirely? No, you don't have to keep them on your call list, but isn't music an important part of their lives, too?
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Author: clarinetmama
Date: 2004-02-17 03:38
I have been working with college kids for the past ten years. For many of them they say they have a hangover as if they are proud of it. We are embarking on a tour this week to Cincinnati to play at CBDNA and the students ask me things like, "Is it okay for me to drink?" I am not their director, by the way. I tell them...1) are you over 21? 2) if you do drink too much will you be able to play well? If not, please don't drink this week. This is a huge honor and if you let the group down, you will not soon be forgiven.
When I was their age I drank....a lot. Did I miss class? NO. Did I keep up my grades? YES Did I miss work? NO Did I feel like crap? Absolutely. This student should have kept her big mouth shut and played...well.
As a parent when I tell my son not to do something he knows he will face the conseqences. He is 5. It starts young and never ends.
I know very few college students who are alcoholics. Most of them aren't smart enough to know their limits yet. But this girl was being unfair to the rest of her group and needed to be given the boot.
I am proud of you for sticking to your "ultimatum." Had you not, there would have been a lot of resentment by the rest of the group and they most certainly would have no respect for you.
Jean
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Author: chicagoclar
Date: 2004-02-18 18:51
Well, things ended up working for the best. This student is a junior music major and should have known better. I still see her almost daily as I am the principle in the clarinet section and have to run sectionals. I think I handled the situation in a way that she couldn't stay mad at me for long, so we are on civilized terms (it's been a long time since we were more than civilized to eachother). This is one of those situations where a lot of the members are my closest friends, and I have to be careful to make sure I am completely equal in the treatment of each student, so I think I did the right thing. thanks for the encouragement.
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Author: sfalexi
Date: 2004-02-18 19:46
Perhaps you can invite her back in the next year thereby softening the blow. I mean, yes it was a stupid mistake, but she just handled it immaturely and made a mistake. Now she'll know not to make that mistake and perhaps cause she's young should be given a second chance in the future. I don't see a reason to potentially stop her wanting to be involved with things at such a young age.
I would personally lay down the rules and say, "You're done this year. But you can try again next year. But if this happens again, I'll have to say goodbye again. I hope you learned from your mistake."
????
Just a thought . . .
Alexi
US Army Japan Band
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Author: Rick Williams
Date: 2004-02-19 15:17
For a number of years I was involved in sports officiating at a fairly high level and taught sports officiating. I used to tell officials; "You cannot give an advantage (read break) to one player without putting other players at a disadvantage." It is the nature of the game.
One of the worst things a leader can do is to set a rule then either ignore it or play favorites. The first makes a mockery of the rule itself and the second makes a mockery of your leadership and breeds resentment in the organization.
That said though, the only difference between a machine punching out results and a human being is the ability to weigh and judge the situation. For example if the student had come to you and said I can't make rehersal because my mother just died, then that is a circumstance beyond her control. In such a case, a decision to excuse the student should be announced along with the reasoning that anything less than such a circumstance would not be overlooked.
The choice to drink however was one within her control, the consequences were known and the choice was her's to make and bear responsibility for.
Best
Rick
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